The Longest Hour of My Life

I am normally extremely comfortable in social situations. But then again, most of my socializations are around adults ~ or children who are related to me, thus I can be myself.
Today I journeyed WAY outside my comfort zone and was pursuaded to help with Griffin's one hour Halloween kindergarten party.
(I may never forgive the pursuader)
Since it was, after all, a Halloween party, I thought that I would get in the "spirit" of the occasion and dress up a little. I grabbed a Mickey Mouse apron, chef hat and spatula. Simple, yet festive. (I thought)
When I was picked up by my niece and her well-behaved 5 year old, Annie laughed at my appearance but Griffin wouldn't speak to me. Later he confided that HE thught that everyone in the whole class would laugh at me. I told him, "that was the point..to have FUN..."

I had brought along my camera because my intention was to simply enjoy snapping pictures. I never dreamed anyone would ask me to actually help out.

There were about 9 drafted parents to lend their help, so I was certain that no one would even notice I was there.
Well, the celebration included not one, but TWO classes of 5 year-olds. Their schedule of fun included having each of the forty-four munchkin participants spending 11 minutes at FIVE different "activity-stations".

I was trying to stay out of everyone's way so I sat close to the windows (planning an escape route) when the "head party-planner Mom" threw a bag of stuff at me, pointed at a nearby miniature round table and instructed me to handle the making of "creative" spider cookies,
("oh, crap", I breathed)
I was panicking...then I finally caught Annie's eye across the room and motioned her to get over here and take over. She actually hurdled over 3 tables to get to me ~ MAYBE becauseI might have given her the impression with my wild, desperate, out-of-control sign language, that a blood-curdling screaming was about to commence.
Do you know that Annie opened 12 juice boxes and spiked the little straw in the containers, before I could manage ONE?


She had calmly and swiftly taught 5 rounds of seven kids how to decorate their cookie like a spider, all the while making clever 5 year old chit chat, and still managed to distribute the needed paper plates and napkins. She then wiped their little faces, cleaned the table and ushered in the next group without missing a beat.
Meanwhile, I sat frozen....and in awe.


I DID manage to take a few pictures and help two kids shed their cumbersome costumes.
I swear that the clock had stopped because the one hour that I had committed to lasted at least 2 days.

Me and my apron and chef hat went home and took a long nap.

God bless young Mothers.

FOOTBALL SUNDAY = HEALTH PROBLEMS

Hi, my name if Peggy and I am a competition-aholic.

I happpen to be a living-room-screaming, jumping-like-a-pregnant-kangaroo, Bengal fan.
I also admit to being a wee bit too obsessed with not only winning, but dominating at basement games with a tiny ounce of excessive energy.
Additionally, I enjoy a friendly hand-crunching wager centering on just about anything from:
"I can do the dishes in under 4:15"...to..."I'll bet I can reel off more 1950's TV shows faster than you can" (aimed at a 20 year old victim to tilt the edge in my favor)

Right now I am recuperating from the Bengals losing a ridiculous game by 2 points... I spent 185 minutes of my time watching grown men grunting, spitting, falling and flexing, all the while risking my health in a number of ways:
1) Holding my breath until the end of each play and wondering why I am light-headed
2) Eating way too many peanuts with machine-gun-like precision like the more that I shot in my mouth, the more likely Carson Palmer would find Chad Johnson in the end zone.
3) My stomach housing more knots than a fisherman's boat rigging...
4) My blood pressure creeping towards stroke level

Why do I care that much about this silly game? If they win or lose, it won't disturb my lovely little life one itsy bit.
But my emotions need to be controlled or my involvement in competition, whether as an desperate participant in some ego-induced bet or as a peanut-gobbling spectator, will be limited to wheelchair races in the hospital corridors.


For Christmas, SOMEONE needs to get me an automated heart defibrillator.

Halloween...Did someone say "TREATS"?

It's that time of year, again.
Time for us all to put on a mask, scare any innocent by-stander, drink too much cider at the kids parties, swill too much spiked (by the evil witch) punch at an adult's gathering, and inhale candy like it was the latest all-natural condiment.

Yes, this IS supposed to be the KIDS time of the year, but I have seen some adults..hmm..or maybe I should say "older kids"? get into the festivities like it was MardiGras for full force.

Now these same mature(?) grown-ups must be getting bored with just dressing up their kids and themselves. They have moved on to their pets...adorning them with theatrical outfits that would make professional Hollywood costumer-makers drool.
I have received about 56 emails that have pictures of all breeds of animals in their cute little pirate costume or their Richard Nixon mask. They must think it is the ultimate "TREAT" for these pets.

If we like this holiday so much, why don't we have it once a week?
Be creative all year long?
Be someone else every seven days. (Most of the guys I know will dress like Donald Trump, hoping some of the "success" will rub off.)

Me? I think I will stick to my own outfits. The other morning, I rolled out of bed way too early and decided to start my day visiting the Waffle House...before my normal routine of a shower, make up, etc. One of the waitresses asked me if I was going to a Holloween costume party as Rip Van Winkle.
She didn't get much of a tip.

I guess I should bite the bullet and figure out a cutesy costume for Bailey. I think just some sunglasses so he can be a doggie movie star will suffice.



(Unless he begs me to dust off the Paris Hilton outfit for ME and the chiquaqua outfit for HIM..again)

Minimum wage

Get out my BIG BOX of TIDE....my soapbox of choice!

I would love to initiate a question to about 100 people in the Cincinnati area. I wonder how many would know what the minimum wage is and how many would know what their congressman earns (I use the term "earn" loosely).

Here is a quote from an article and although this information is a few months old, I think it is interesting with the elections ‘round the corner:

By Lou Dobbs CNN
Wednesday, June 21, 2006;
"Without much fanfare, the House of Representatives last week (June, 2006) voted to give members of Congress yet another pay raise, as it has done almost every year for nearly a decade."
"For some reason, our elected officials decided against holding a news conference. Maybe that's because they didn't want to draw attention to the fact that they raise their own salaries almost every year while refusing to raise the pay of our lowest-paid workers."
“…since the last time Congress increased the minimum wage for our lowest-paid workers, (10 years!)buying power has fallen by 25 percent. Yet over that time our elected representatives have given themselves eight pay raises totaling more than 23 percent.”
“…..it's impossible to deny the national minimum wage of $5.15 is not enough for a family to live above the poverty line. The annual salary for workers earning the national minimum wage still leaves a family of three about $6,000 short of the poverty threshold. Raising the minimum wage to $7.50 would positively affect the lives of more than 8 million workers, including an estimated 760,000 single mothers and 1.8 million parents with children under 18. But even this 46 percent increase would get them only to the poverty line. Don't you think these families just might need that cost-of-living increase a bit more than our elected officials who are paid nearly $170,000 a year?" ~ Lou Dobbs

In 1951, a postage stamp cost 3 cents…now it’s 39 cents….
Minimum wage in 1955 was .75….now it’s $5.15 (federal guidelines…some states are different)
Should minimum wage keep pace with the cost of a stamp over 50 years?
The State of Washington has adopted it’s minimum wage to $7.63….Ohio is still at the federally endorsed $5.15.
Can YOU imagine not getting a pay raise in TEN YEARS??
Since economics is a common battleground, maybe we should give some thought to this topic.

Dream A Little Dream

I had the strangest dream last night.
In fact, most mornings I could start my day saying that same phrase.
Sometimes I’ll awaken in the middle of a great dream where I am about to win the prize behind door #1 when I wake up in frustration with NO prize! RATS!
I MUST return to slumber to see what I won!
Try as I might to rewind and press PLAY to continue this sleep-induced movie, the dream has been fractured and when I return to door #1, instead, I am in the living room and hitting my Pro Staff 4 golf ball with a sand wedge out of ash trays.

Last night’s cinema had me, the star of the movie, at a swimming pool and I was competing in the super-national diving championship.
I find myself alone, on the diving board, with thousands of people holding their breath to witness what perfect dive Peggy, the Diving Diva, will attempt.
I hear the announcer say, “Degree of difficulty ~10…this is a very dangerous dive and no one in the history of diving competition has ever successfully completed this plunge.” And then he adds in a lowered whisper, “but if anyone can do it, Peggy can.”

But I wonder if I can do it.

I breathe a silent prayer and begin my approach…I bounce perfectly on the 10 meter board high in the air with toes pointed, faultless form, whirling, twisting and spinning 8 times ~ the glassy surface welcoming me as I make my flawless entry into the water without a ripple.
I rise to the surface expecting the roar of the crowd and people jumping into the water to congratulate me as all 15 international judges score unanimous 10’s!

But NOOOO…I wake up to my pooch, Bailey, barking and pawing at me because he has to perform his morning constitution (usually with flawless "10's").

I wonder what other people dream about?
Does the Pope dream that the wine at Mass is really an extra dry martini?
Does Rosie still dream about Tom Cruise?
Does Brook Shields dream that Tom Cruise is a patient of Freud's?
Does Katy Holmes dream about Johnny Depp?
Does David Hasselhoff dream he has talent?
Do certain un-named politicians dream they have sense?
Does the FOX news team dream they are un-biased?
Does Jerry Springer really dream he could win Dancing with the Stars?
Does Oprah dream...hmmm...she has everything, what would she dream about?

I’m thinking that maybe I should rely on my conscious state to accomplish my goals.
But I still won’t give up on my dreams. I WILL write a best-seller.

A BEST SELLER

Ha Ha! See? I wrote it!! TADA! Don’t pinch me yet!

Alternative to Stupid Political Ads

Are you as fed up with these school yard verbal rock throwing political ads as I am?
Wow..I feel like these "kids" need a "time-out".
I haven't heard ONE ad that promotes what the political candidate wants to DO without throwing verbal attacks at their opponent.
Is everyone who is running for office THAT insecure about their OWN political position?

I can hear them saying "nanana boo boo" and "your Mama wears army boots" and "I know you are but what am I"?
just like 6 year olds. No, wait, most of the 6 year olds won't even stoop to the levels that these candidates are bending too. Speaking of bending...they all need a swift kick in the buttocks.

If they are going to act like idiots in their name-calling, why don't we just put them in a pasture and let them fight it out among dung like the barn-yard animals they are resembling.

I really wish I knew what some of these guys believed in other than "hating your neighbor"...it's giving us in this grand country the bully title that we are now trying to deny.

Sing Like No One is Listening

I love it when people totally let go of their inhibitions and let loose with "soul singing".
I mean like when someone is belting out a song like no one is listening. You know what I'm talkin' about....when you might be singing like you're auditioning for American Idol....in the shower....with no one within hearing distance within 44 miles.
You are actually a star for 5 minutes as you are singing "in the zone" and in the privacy of your basement, gyrating better than Elvis the Pelvis and Liza Minelli did in their day (or Taylor Hicks THOUGHT he could on A.I.).
~ Or ~ what can be better than singing loud and proud like a 10 year old who could care less who is listening or watching?
Life is heaven when you are crooning a romantic ballad carrassing your invisible hand-held microphone and emoting with curled lips, furrowed brow, the closed eyes and pained expression...and you have the audience in the palm of your hands....

Then....

someone sneaks up and snaps a picture....

you are flipped back to reality...

but it was a rush while it lasted.

gotta go..the baby needs her diaper changed.

DIE - T?

One of the ways I attempt to keep up-dated with current events is checking cnn.com twice daily. It gives me concise headlines for various topics that I can click on to explore details if I want them. Some of these areas of interest include, but are not limited to: Weather, Sports, Stocks, Religion, Politics, Law, Money, Entertainment, World News, etc.

Today under ENTERTAIMENT, it's brief headline stated: Sharon Osbourne has weight issues.
Now I KNOW that she is married to Ozzie, the crazy rocker-druggie-rat-head connoisseur...and that she had a failed talk show that lasted just 5 months ~ and that she was in the limelight for an even more ridiculous TV realty program, showcasing her dysfunctional family ~ but WHY would ANYONE care that she is worried about her weight?

Does CNN not know that over 2/3 of adult Americans are over-weight?
If you "google-search" the word DIET, Over 255 MILLION hits are registered!
Cook-books are the only type of book that can out-sell the Bible, for pity sake (and that IS a pity!)!

Maybe the SPORTS section should run a headline: "Mike Ditka has layrngitis"


or under POLITICS, the headline that would get my attention: "President Ford concerned about economy"

Under STOCKS, the head-turning headline could be: "Donald Trump worries over the Real Estate Market"

I know that there must be very few people in the Entertainment world who are concerned about their girth, right? Otherwise, this wouldn't be such a news item, would it?

Well, there is one redeeming fact for you all.
When I "google-searched" the word MONEY, it beat DIET by 2 BILLION hits.

Maybe I'll go back to getting my news from the National Enquirer. They have better pictures of stars without make-up.

Phone 911..there's a robbery!

There is a lovely couple living near Cincinnati, in Montgomery, Ohio who are rather, shall we say, "set in their ways"? They have owned the same yellow rotary phone hanging in their kitchen since Eisenhauer was in office. It is one step above Aunt Bee cranking the handle and asking Mable the operator for a connectin to Lloyd, the barber.
Finally, their daughter convinced them, after they had some issues with static on the line, to buy a new phone. Upon further review (can you tell by my phrasing that it's football season?) the facts show that they had been renting this phone that should be in some museum for kids to ask their parents what it is ~ for $21.95/month. Their dear old phone company has made a ton of money over the past umpteen years. (They didn't want to add up the lost money on rental as it might upset their tummies)

Coincidentally, I found this article on the internet...please make sure your loved ones are not in the same predicament!

Widow Rented Rotary Phone for 42 Years

A widow rented a rotary dial telephone for 42 years, paying what her family calculates as more than $14,000 for a now outdated phone.
Ester Strogen, 82, of Canton, first leased two black rotary phones — the kind whose round dial is moved manually with your finger — in the 1960s. Back then, the technology was new and owning telephones was unaffordable for most people.

Until two months ago, Strogen was still paying AT&T to use the phones — $29.10 a month.
New Jersey-based Lucent Technologies, a spinoff of AT&T that manages the residential leasing service, said customers were given the choice option to opt out of renting in 1985. The number of customers leasing phones dropped from 40 million nationwide to about 750,000 today, he said.
"We will continue to lease sets as long as there is a demand for them," Skalko said.

Strogen says she's not a big fan of her new push-button phone.
"I'd like to have my rotary back," she said. "I like that better."


SIGH....Now I'm wondering if she still has dial-up internet service?

Nice Ear, Babe ~ YUM!

"Iron Mike" Tyson is an interesting character, isn't he?
He "performed" in the boxing ring for over 20 years.
And he has made a fool of himself both in and out of the ring.
In fact, his life has been a 3 ring circus at times.
He has declared bankruptcy.
He admitted to beating his wife, Robin Givens.
He has done jail time ~ TWICE...once for rape and once for assault.
In jail he told the inmates, "I'm on zoloft so I won't kill anyone."
In 2000 he bragged that "I'm a violent person, almost an animal"

He has bitten an ear off of an opponent (Holyfield) in a boxing match in 1998 and wondered what the fuss was all about.
Then he bit another opponent, Lennox Lewis 3 years later.

But NOW...he announces (from STRONGSVILLE, OHIO) that he will be touring the country allowing people to box him in the ring for 4 rounds.
He will even consider boxing against women.
WOMEN? REALLY?
I was startled by that but why should I think that strange?
He doesn't now, nor did he ever in the past, seem to blink at punching out his
112 pound bride so why not put on the gloves against a stranger?
He gives being a "Bully" a new definition.

I think I would think twice about anyone sitting next to this guy in Church, not to mention in a ring that blesses beatings.

I sure hope all our kids see this and then they can grow up and be just like our sports heroes. You know, like the football players who enjoy breaking people's faces and injuring players during a nice little friendly game of "toss the pigskin".

I'm getting just a little cynical about sports lately...except Ping Pong, of course.

So I think I'm going to go practice my overhead SMASH!

Who Invented Ping Pong?

The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat have both been felt to my inner-most core by participating in the game of Ping Pong.
I started playing PP when I was about 10 years old. My parents felt the basement needed another game besides darts, maybe because my older 13 year old brother Dave, loved using the dart board and ME for some of his Magic Shows. He had seen the many magicicians on TV where someone tries to throw an ax or shoot arrows at a target with a woman standing in front of it. He enjoyed me re-enacting these trick substituting the dart board to simulate the other stunts.
Dave seemed mezmorized with magic and attempting any kind of tricks. He bribed me well over one hundred times to dress as his lovely assistant, Wanda, for neighborhood magic shows. I can't tell you how many coins got pulled from various orafices and how much water I had to drink from a fake water glass. At least he never tried to saw me in half...at least not in front of anyone.

Well, after neighbors complained, my folks thought that maybe a diversion was in order. So they purchased a ping pong table that saw a minimum of 4,578 games played on it for the next 20 years. My friends, my brother's friends, my parent's friends, people who we didn't even know would wonder down to the basement for a quick game.
We were the Ping Pong Palace and I was the reigning queen. By the time I was 17,no one could beat me, including my brother and Father. (well, maybe once in a great while)
Then my brother got married and had two sons. These two fellas got addicted early to the game..maybe when they were only 5 and 6 years old. They had experienced many years of smelling defeat up close and personal. There were numerous incidents of un-sportsman-like conduct....swearing...thrown paddles, scuffed up tables, split balls, injuries due to slamming into the concrete wall ~ and that was just ME.

Now I am fast-forwarding to the present. I am 55 years old and haven't played for at least 25 years. My nephews are just a little older than when I was in my prime. Maybe they can beat me a little now...
One nephew has a 33 year old wife who will remain nameless because after I trounced her 3 games in a row...she squeeked out a 26-24 win. (She enlisted the aid of her two children ~ ages 5 and 18 months, to distract me by throwing ping-pong balls, teddy bears, and I think a couple of gin & tonics on the table as I was trying to return her weak serve)

At the moment of defeat, I wailed my primal yell from the depths of my loins which I haven't had to do for many, many moons. Maybe some of you heard it about noon today?
Anyway..today I curse, albeit lightly, the people who invented that dreaded game.

I am thinking at this point, maybe being sawed in half is a better use of my time.

CHANGES

With the autumn change of weather, temperatures and colors, comes deep emotional reflection upon the changes in our own lives.

OK...maybe not.

But on occasion I DO think (for 2 minutes or less) that there are changes that I have NO control over, and some changes that I could initiate on my own.
Examples (you just KNEW I was going to go there, didn't you?):
EYESIGHT - When I was in my 20's I could see clearly that 1.68 inch golf ball 250 yards away (if it were My ball, it was usually on the green right next to the flag).
I could see a spider wink at me from 20 paces.
Now ~ I'm lucky to see the brand name "Titlist" on the golf ball as I squint at it sitting on my hand.
If a gorilla were standing 3 feet away from me, I might very well mistake him for our neighbor Sam.
HEARING ~ When I was younger, I could hear the grass grow..ok, maybe I could hear the mower.
Now, a cannon could go off in the hallway and I would think the dog passed a little gas. (by the way, these ARE just examples..we have no artillery in the house)

In my younger days (oooh, I promised myself that I would never say things that made ME wince when my PARENTS uttered them 50 years ago and now, look at me!), my skin was as tight as a sweater on Mariah Carey.
Now ~ my skin seems to move like Jerry Springer doing the cha cha on Dancing with the Stars.

Now there is not much that I can do about these changes in my body.
But I look at the things that I CAN change and wonder why I don't.
A widely used satirical definition on insanity is:
One who does the same action over and over and expects a different result.
That's me.

I still don't floss as much as I should and I get the same scolding every 12 years when I go to the dentist.
I still have small sip of diet coke now and then (well, not actually NOW...that is just a figure of speech) when I KNOW the studies tell us how bad carbonation and fake sugar is.
I still enjoy a martini on the rocks with a couple of olives followed by a keg of beer chaser on a rare celebratory occasion when I KNOW that kills a few brain cells.
I KNOW I don't pray enough giving thanks, but when I NEED something, I'm bending the ole knee like an Italian Grandmother at a funeral.
I can change these things in the future.
No need crying over spilled milk (I really didn't spill any milk...just another figure of speech).
But I can learn from some of the crazy things that I have done in the past that I wish I hadn't and try to change the impulse in the future.
Examples:
Curb my spending habits - buying 14 of the same hair ribbons because they are on sale ~ and I don't wear hair ribbons.
Stop the insanity of continuing to buy the weekly "reputables" that have miniscule value, other than I can sometimes keep up with the names of young celebrities and be able to engage in conversations with anyone under 35.
Keep on a budget. Maybe I should curb my support to just $5.00 for the neighborhood kids who come by regularly to offer a chance to assist their team in going to Figi for a soccer tournament. I feel like I should pay their entire plane fares. They all know I am a soft touch.
Improve my ping pong skills by practicing. I have come to believe that I can just WILL myself to do anything with professional skills rather than actually practicing.
This is immature thinking that can get me in trouble during tournament time.

Well, that is MORE than enough reflecting at this point.

I do know one change I will make in the future:
I will NOT approach a good looking 30 year old flag football coach named Joe to ask him if he is married. He said "NO" but quickly added with obvious fright on his face, "I AM seeing someone!" and he ran, not walked away.
This is before I could mumble, "I'm asking for my 26 year old friend, Jana, not me!"

I love Autumn.

What "Bugs" Me

The change of weather has prompted some of God's smallest critters to feel they have a "home" in MY house. So, I call one of God's bigger creatures to come "usher" them out.
I get very, uh,er..shall we say ~ WIMPISH when it comes to this kind of stuff? I'd rather have 10 teeth pulled than deal with 3 ants parading through the hallway with hoisted signs reading "we work for food". (Ok, never mind about the teeth thing.I was just using editorial license)

So in comes the guy with the uniform, the obligatory mask and his trusty 20 ounce can of Raid.
He disappears with a barely audible and supposedly comforting phrase, "I hope I can get 'em all"......
WHAT? He HOPES he can get them all?

That's why I pay for a $400/year contract...so at a moments notice, "Mr. Terminator" (can't use the company's REAL name for fear of law suits) can come in and save this damsel in distress.

He returns in 3 minutes and takes 30 minutes to explain to me stuff that I really don't want to know about concerning various species of bugs. Then he tries to "upgrade" my contract so he can use the REAL ushering techniques for both inside AND outside. (I presumed that I HAD the contract that would really get rid of anything unwanted ~ (including maybe guests overstaying their welcome)
Now I am getting a bit nauseous with his graphic description of what I MIGHT get into myhome over the winter months here in Ohio, so I attempt to divert his attention by asking him how busy he is that day. He tells me that the company's eight "technicians" are having to work extra hours to take up the slack of a fellow technician who left the company. He went on to (slip up) say how much he misses the departure of his fellow tech as the guy apparently taught him how to increase his sales.
(SALES? I thought he was a bug killer!)
Then he actually BEAMED (no kidding..there was light coming from his nostrils) as he told me he had $8,000 in sales last year but this year he had increased his accounts to $35,000 due to this recently departed "coach".

A question then BEAMED into MY mind:
So, is he:
A) a "technician" who has a stomach for exterminating little bugs?
B) a super-stud salesperson with a can of aerosal and a mask...or
C) is the mask a hint as to what he is really doing?

Oh, by the way, no need to send a sympathy card for my little "friends" ~ they are still here, only now they are demonstrating with bigger signs that say, "We have gas masks too HA, HA"

Anyone want to come over for dinner?

Whoops! Slip of the Tongue

WEEKENDS ARE FOR FUN & FRIVOLITY.....ENJOY!

Below is a compilation of actual student bloopers collected by teachers
from 8th through 12th grades.

1) Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The
climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live
elsewhere.

2) The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One
of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3) Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went
up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever
reached Canada.

4) Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5) The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth.

6) Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that
name.

7) Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8) Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made
king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

9) Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple
while standing on his son's head.

10) Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a
success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted
"hurrah."

11) It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was
the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure
because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis
Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

12) The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He
was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made
much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and
Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be
laid by Juliet.

Ah, hem...enough of these mis-guided regurgitations out of the "moths of babes"

Vote for your favorite..if it matches mine, you win a prize!

Making "Cents" of Grocery Store Pricing

I noticed that a 20 ounce bottle of any Coke product is $1.29 at the local grocery store. A 2 liter coke that is 67.6 ounces is $1.39.
Heck, the extra plastic surrounding the coke and the larger label has to cost a dime more, never mind the fluid within!
That is a HUGE difference!
Per ounce - the 2 liter costs is 2 cents/oz......
vs. bad boy 20 ounce bottle = 20 cents/oz.

I don't think an ounce is even a swallow. Wait. Let me try.
Whoops, I was wrong... it is. Not that I drink soda pop. It is bad for anyone. Especially the aspartame added. (see www.mercola.com and look up aspartame)
I was merely sacrificing myself for scientific purposes.

I love to compare per unit pricing in the stores.
Go to the toilet paper section. (excuse me..the "bathroom tissue" section)
When the package goes from 1 roll at 38 cetns per unit to 48 rolls at 4 cents/unit..you had better be paying attention.
I've experienced a "ON SALE" item that is 4 for $5.00. Then you see that you can buy ONE for $1.00!
And how many of us FALL for the old "2 for $1.00"? I only NED ONE..I only WANT ONE..yet I buy TWO because it will get me "a deal"! Of course when I go through the checkout line with ONE, it cost me 50 cents or 51 cents..so what is the big deal?
Well, I can always say, "well, I got it on sale" like my Mother said every single time she bought ANYTHING.
Tsk, tsk..those tricky, sneaky marketers.

Buyer beware.
Now if I could only figure out how to price my book. 1 for $12. 2 for $25.?

My Movie

I have been fortunate enough to have spent the last 4 days in a house 50 yards from the ocean. Since it is off-season here at Virginia Beach, there are only a handful of people who set footprints on MY PROPERTY. I have an un-obstructed view of God's water Universe. I haven't watched TV..and am RARELY checking email...my cell phone doesn't work out here so I am forced to think and relax....Kinda..

I am working on finishing my book that Sean is making me write.
Now my pubisher is tired of me dragging my heels and has given me deadlines. UGH!
I feel a wee bit of pressure like the kid hurridly finishing his essay on the way to school on the bus. However, looking out at the ocean is the most calming feeling I've had since I took a puff of my college roommate's "Cigarette" at least I THOUGHT it was a cigarette!...(I swear I didn't inhale..THAT much!)

Back to the ocean's calming influence.
Looking out at this "Movie"...the waves, the birds, the blue sky with the beautiful clouds...life stops for a short time..and then today...a special short film of dolphins entertained us for a full 30 minutes. I am close to heaven.

What book?
What pressures of life?

I am one lucky gal.

Oh, crap...my publisher just got through on my cell phone! I have 3 days to finish up. GULP. I wonder if I'll have to watch Survivor tomorrow? Anything to procrastinate...to heck with the ocean.

Everyone Has Their Hero

I suppose we all have someone (or someones) to whom we look to for advise..or inspiration. Some admire Carrot Top, David Hasaproblem, Bob Saget...but one of mine is Will Rogers. He had just good old-fashioned common sense and a huge love of mankind.




Wisdom of Will Rogers

* Don't squat with your spurs on.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody
else's dog around.

* After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

* Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

* There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

* When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised
if they learn their lesson.

* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in
your pocket.

* Never miss a good chance to shut up.

* There are three kinds of men:
The one that learns by reading;
the few who learn by observation;
the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

TWINKIES AND ROOT BEER

Since I am away at a secret hiding place attempting to get work done without interruption, I thought I would "cheat" a bit on blogging and pass along some interesting tidbits that have been so kindly forwarded to me.
If enough people would get on Annie's case to be a "Fill-in" blogger, you all would be in for MORE of a treat!

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man. The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons.

The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie.

The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at boy. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer.
Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man, and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?

"He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? God's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked," Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his son responded, he added," You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

Games We Kids Play

My Thursdays are a treat for me. I get to pick up Griffin (almost 6 yrs old now) from his bus stop and have lunch with him. If I have time, we squeeze in a "mystery ride" that sometimes includes putt-putt, bowling, Chuckie-Cheese games, a boat ride or play-time at the park. Today it included coming back to the house to play ping pong. My first mistake was buying WAY too many ping pong balls. You know how they always get lost flying under a sofa or crinkled by a mad man who lost his serve for the 4th time in the net? With 24 balls, I figured it would take AT LEAST a week before we needed to stock up again. Silly me. There are two left after today. Griffin likes to play "Incoming!" pong missiles and pelt me with as many as he can. At one point we were both on the floor laughing so hard he told me he was going to laugh his "whole body off".

We escaped the "war zone" to go to our favorite ice cream hangout, THE CONE...I think we go there as much to play games as we do for the ice cream (ok, that is just the biggest lie I've ever told, but the games are fun).

So, there was PAC-MAN....I haven't played it for quite a while and Griffin "double-quadruple-dared" me so I put in my quarter and 20 seconds later I was done. I laughed a little nervous laugh that one does when being totally mortified and plunked in another coin. I lasted 12 seconds.
Griffin knows enough to at least TRY to stifle his hilarity. I give him a quarter and he zips and turns and makes mincemeat of his opponents and is King Pac-man, making it to the 3rd level before I could mumble "Nice game"...

It was a quiet ride home, except for a little 5 year old in the back seat singing a little rap song:

I'm the Pac-man
Pegger's the loser
I'm the Pac-man
Pegger's a goof ball

After 10 minutes of that lovely song, I changed the subject and
I told him I was going to write a children's book called "Griffin's Mystery Rides" ~ Mr. Griffin Spielberg has bigger ideas as he suggested we make it into a movie and Brittany Spears could play ME.
He hasn't named the star who would portray Griffin.

If he beats me at too many more games, his MYSTERY Rides will turn into MISERY Rides.

Today I Had Plastic Surgery

"Plastic, Plastic everywhere, nor any cash to have..."

Come on..I'm looking for a little credit here ~
I finally tore up (most) of my credit cards ~ Visa (3), MasterCard (4), Discover, American Express, Diners Club, Shell Oil, Sears, Target, Walmart, Home Depot, and McDonalds (whoops..that was a card for a free Sundae..rat puppies!)

I have been addicted to buying "things" on credit through catalogs, the internet and TV special offers. I bought a saddle the other day from an Infomerical that touted the benefits of this saddle so well that I ordered it with the "Special Ultra Fast" shipping option.

I don't own a horse ~ and don't even KNOW anyone who owns a horse.

I have a Storage closet that I can't even open the door to because of all the crap that I have purchased over the years that I've never used. I keep thinking that I will use it someday...or I'll have a need for a set of 12 old vinal records ~ Learn to Speak Russian in Just 6 Weeks.
Maybe a Russian neighbor will move in next door and I can ask to borrow a cup of sugar in their language ~ and they will love me forever.

So, I decided to quit cold turkey ~ without the assistance of any support group that wants me to stand up and say "Hi, my name is Peggy ("Hi, Peggy!"), and I'm a Credit Card Addict."

I would have been mortified if they used a credit card detector and found that I had an emergency card in my shoe. (or some OTHER more embarrassing place)
Hey! What I need to charge SOME things, you know.
The fifth set of steak knives that I found on sale are good Christmas gifts.

Holidays are the exception for CC Addicts. Thanks heavens this month it's Spoil Your Canine month. Maybe that saddle will fit Bailey?

Great Speech Writers - Great Reflection on USA

Andy Rooney's editorial on Sixty Minutes last night was quite insightful.
He said that the President has 13 speech-writers with salaries ranging from $30,000 to $164,000. Taxpayers are spending over $600,000 to make sure our President says just the right words, with exact grammar and intent. The following extractions from our President's speeches makes me feel a wee bit better when someone points out one of my many mis-spellings or grammatical errors. I don't have even a good spell-checker on my computer!

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."
- US President George W. Bush (August 5, 2004)

"One of the interesting initiatives we've taken in Washington, D.C., is we've got these vampire-busting devices. A vampire is a-a cell deal you can plug in the wall to charge your cell phone." George W Bush, Denver, CO. Aug. 14, 2001

"Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB-GYNs aren't able to practice their love with women all across this country." —Poplar Bluff, Mo., Sept.’04

"Rarely is the questioned asked: Is our children learning?" —Florence, S.C., Jan. 11, 2000

"There's an old saying in Tennessee — I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — shame on you. Fool me — you can't get fooled again." Nashville,02

"I would say the best moment of all was when I caught a 7.5 pound perch in my lake." --George W. Bush, on his best moment in office, interview with the German newspaper 5/06

The White House also employs ten $30,000/year "gift analysts". I think I'd like that job ~ MUCH less responsibility than a speech writer. Every day would be different in trying to figure out what gift came from various countries. Then there is the challenge of figuring out what to do with another toaster or blender or didgeridoo. Dear Gussie! $300,000 worth of salaries PLUS benefits for presents to be opened and analyzed!!

I'll bet my five year old nephew Griffin would do it by himself in half the time, if he opened them with the same intensity as he does with his Christmas gifts.

p.s. I'm not picking on THIS administration alone....there are plenty of gaffs in prior administrations' speeches (I did NOT have relations with that ....) and some rather abundant gift taking upon some leaving the White House.

Expiration Dates

Today I brought home a couple of bagels from Bruegger's Bagels and noticed that the bottom of the bag had an expiration date stamped on it ~ Jul 13 '06.
Now, come on. I know that we have taken this expiration date thing to an obnoxious level, but to put it on a brown paper bag? What is going to happen? Will the bag revert back to a tree? Poor sap.

I also get confused with dates saying "Purchase by:_____ and Use by:______"
What if I DON'T purchase it by the earlier date, yet I use it by the "USE BY" date?
I feel a little manipulated here.

I'll keep cough medicines around for a while because I use it for 3 doses and I'm over the cough. So in another year, I'll need it again. For $8.95 for this little bottle, I want to use every ounce of it. Sometimes I'll take it over to a friend's house if the expiration date is drawing nigh and offer it like a house-warming present instead of wine...or Mad Dog 2020.

A few months ago I found a small rash on my arm that I must have gotten from pulling weeds..so I looked in the medicine cabinet and found an anti-itch cream but the bottle told me that I couldn't use it after 8/06..and it was Sept. 1st!!
Rats! If I had only procured this itch 24 hours earlier I could have used it!
OK, I still used it but in the back of my mind, I was constantly on the look-out for some weird curdle on my entire arm to my head because the lotion was officially "expired". (I know to NEVER mess with the dates of use on MILK...thus the analogy.)

One day recently I decided to clean out my non-perishable items. I always thought that if something were packaged in a can, it never perished..thus the name.
But alas, my nephew Brian had come over and being BT-OCD (BT= "Big time") obsessive-compulsive VERY disorder...he started flying thru the cupboards' occupants and FREAKING OUT just because the soup had a 4/99 date on it. It's SOUP...lots of salt as a preservative, for pity sake!! I think the jar of mayonaise that read 2/88 really bothered him and he refused to eat the tuna sandwhich I had prepared for lunch.

I believe that there are some other things that should have an expiration date on it that are missing:

A) Re-runs from 1965 Bonanza episodes
B) Chairs that have had the legs broken off more than 7 times.
C) Blogs that are older than 5 days

But one expiration date that I AM looking forward to:
Jan 20, 2008 ~ No not the Super Bowl...a New President

Where the Heck are We Looking for Our Answers?

I don't know if you noticed that there was an escaped fugitive from a New York prison for 5 months who was recently apprehended. For most of his 20+ weeks that he was on the run, he was wandering around an interesting area of New York. The location of most of his hide 'n seek with the N.Y. Deputy Dawgs was within 20 miles of a 100 year old psychic community known throughout the country as housing over 50 certified psychic mediums.
Every summer thousands of people visit Cassadega, N.Y. to explore the possibility that some stranger with a pseudo crystal ball can provide them with answers that have eluded them so far. Will I be famous? Will I be rich? Will I find the love of my life? Can I contact my loved one so they can tell me where the hidden stock certificates are? Will I ever be happy?

Well, if these talented Crystal ball readers couldn't help out the local law in finding this dangerous escaped inmate who eventually killed a 26 year old policeman, I doubt if they can find the missing family dog.

People read those horror-scopes and/or search for the "sign" to tell them whether they should buy the red sweater or the green one for the "big interview" or first date.
Why do we do that? Why do many of us look in the wrong direction for our answers?

For me, I know I need to look "UP" for my answers. But I'll still continue to flip a coin whether I bet the point spread with the Bengals games.

Coupon Savings? I Don't Think So!

Why is it when I call a company for a "Special Offer Coupon for Big Savings", I end up being quoted 400% more than what my little coupon advertises?
Last week I called a company that circulated a coupon for AIR DUCT VENT CLEANING...$69.00 which included 10 air ducts and two "return" ducts.
I haven't had the air vents cleaned for at least 10 years and we've had some major dust from construction around the house so I thought it was a good idea. The last time we employed such a service, a 19 year old, 110 pound college freshman, majoring in Political Science ("Poly-Sci") named Chad, came in and charged us $49.00. He spent about 45 mintues using a big vacuum, a feather duster and followed up with a short squirt of lysol in the general direction of the registers.

Today two men, who I'm sure are bouncers at a local bar at night, arrived with 340 pounds of coil, generators and other equipment to blow out our vents. Guido, the head honcho, would remove a register plate, shine a flashlight in and mumble, "Oh, wow...the guys back at the office won't believe THIS ONE! Hey, Bus, you gotta come look at this!" (Yes, the second guy resembled retired Pittsburgh running back, Jerome Bettis...so THIS is what he's doing in retirement!)

Guido shook his head like I had just committed a 12th degree felony when I told him it had been 5 years since our last service. (Ok, I lied a couple of years.)
They spent 45 minutes just counting the vents and doing a quick "quote for an all-inclusive" cleaning. That was more than little Chad spent including the sweaty handshakes at the door.

Guido brought his clipboard to show my $69. + full-service quote....are you ready for this?
(Now, please understand that I was expecting to pay for the extra vents that exceeded the coupon's 10 that were allowed.)
But the grand total came to....$1159. (plus tax)
Guido had included a super cleaning, sanitizing and a special UV bulb, that would prohibit any mold or bacteria from ever THINKING of entering my duct/vent system.
He threw in two free tickets to the Circleville Pumpkin Festival and 4 ceramic mugs with his company's name on them. Boy, that's what I want to use to toast my egg nog with during the Holidays.
I kinda giggled a bit, that nervous little laugh like you're about to throw up but don't want to mess up the carpets because they had just been cleaned for $345 (never mind my "special $99 whole-house" coupon)

I asked if i really needed the $345 of sanitizing if I was buying a $489 UV lamp.
"good point, Mrs. Murray (grrrr)...we'll deduct that out from the total.
"I noticed that you put the Special price as $89...I thought it was $69" ~ I pointed out.
"Oh, that's right...I forgot which county I was in. We have all kinds of specials in the various counties that we service...that will be deducted from your total."

I said, "If you can do all of this for $359, you have a deal", never thinking they wuld come down to that price from $1159.
Guido furrowed his brow and shook his head and witha dramatic sigh he said, "Well, that will be a tough one ~ but we might as well roll the dice..can I borrow your phone?" I then saw him sneak a wink at "The Bus" and gave him a thumbs up like they had conned a novice referee to give them a 5th down with one yard to go for a touchdown.

After 10 minutes of blah, blah with his "boss" (he probably called his own answering machine), he told me, with a fake, pained expression of disbelief like the company will lose their license if they ever made this deal again ~ that he had unbelieveably great news! I thought he was going to tell me that the TV show Commander in Chief was returning!
He explained that since we were first time customers, and since I agreed to distribute 1200 business cards to my neighbors (I didn't), and that I SWORE I would NEVER tell ANYONE what a great deal WE were getting (HA!), the boss approved of a $389 deal. Guido was shaking with excitement as he started the paperwork in triplicate.
I, on the other hand, was shaking my head "No"...I said, "Sorry, Guido...I said $359, not $399."
I thought he was going to take my head and pass it to The Bus for spiking in the end zone.

Somehow, after another phone call, more theatrical acting that should win Guido some kind of award, and more blah, blah, I still got my "deal"...I THINK I am happy...but when I think of how I WAS going to spend $69...is it DEAL...or BAD DEAL? That is the question.

I think I'll stay away from coupons for a while.

The Instant Replays of Life

Oh, how I wish we could use an instant replay machine for everyday challenges.
Today I tried driving into a gas station slot for an economical fill-up (Murphy gas at WALMART..$2.00/GALLON VS $2.24 everywhere else) and a guy swerved in front of me and took my place. SO I calmly went in line behind another customer to patiently wait my turn. Then I saw the same guy leave my first choice pump and so it was free again for me to, with lightning quick driving deftness, take the place of Mr. Rude.
Oooops. The only problem was, apparently Mr. Rude was also Mr. Confused. He didn't know which side of his car housed the gas cap so he wasn't abandoning his spot, just re-arranging his car by turning it around. By the time he looked up and I saw what he was doing, I observed that my former spot behind the other car at the alternate pump now had 3 cars behind it. What was I to do?

I just started the fuel dispensing process and pretended that I didn't hear Mr. Rude/Confused now Mr. Ballistic yelling expletives to me. As he drove off, I did catch a glimpse of him and he at least waved at me...but with just one digit of his hand.
I, feeling awkward, waved a cheery hello like he was my sorority sister's Dad.
I wish I had an instant replay to see if I should have not scored the fuel or been penalized for my un-sportsman-like conduct. Should my fake wave be considered "Excessive celebration after a score"? and I'm fined or something?

I later went to Kroger's for groceries and had about 14 items in my cart. There were no other check-out lanes that had less than 3 over-stuffed carts in line and there was NO ONE in the 12 ITEMS or less line. I started to get nervous, perspiring ("glistening") and my stomach churned a bit with the possibility of doing something as edgy as taking advantage of the rules of grocery shopping etiquette.
Just as I wheeled my cart in the wrong line (with the same lightning quick deftness as my automobile skills), I felt the judgemental eyes of the cashier and the person behind me with one can of coffee upon me. I felt that I could actually hear them counting out loud the number of items in my cart. I want to call for a special ruling since three of my items were potatoes...shouldn't they count as one? I mean a dozen eggs isn't counted as TWELVE items!

OK, this is pretty crazy talk I guess...MAYBE I stayed up too late last night watching the Pittsburgh Scoreless lose. If I could instant replay that whole game, I would have gone to bed a lot earlier.

I have no pride..I will resort to cheating to win

Last night was a devasting evening to me. I realized that I am not 25 years old ~ I am ALL of 55.
I played ping pong on a regulation table for the third time in 20 years. There were two times about 14 years ago I played for 15 minutes against an opponent who was...well, let's be kind and say....awful?
Oh, then there was the time I played on a small pp table that was for use on top of the water of a swimming pool ~ and every time my "upper torso" got "into" the game, the table "accidentally" moved and my able-opponent's serve happened to go into the water instead of on the table. Point - Peggy.

I grew in a rather competitive family and we had a ping pong table in the basement. I was the reigning champ. (Hey! This is MY movie and that's how it was!!) I had to play most people with my left, non-dominant hand or with the pp paddle in my mouth.
I have heard unsubstantiateed rumors that there was ONE night that I lost ~ ONLY due to a neck injury. I don't really recall much. Apparently I had taken one too many pain pills and someone FORCED a glass of wine or four down my throat.
But I digress.

We have a roomful of games in the lower level of our present home. Anything from air hockey to video/pinball games to bumper pool to table shuffleboard. The only real game missing was PING PONG. We finally found the space for it and after 90 minutes of 5 people trying to put the "30- minute-easy-assembly" table together (minimum of swear words...I was so proud!), we were grabbing the paddles and ping-ponging before the net was up!

Now comes the embarrassing part. The paddles have changed in the past 25 years. Mine today is sooooooooooo much smaller than "back then".
The table has gotten shorter.
The balls don't have the "sensor" that they had "in the good old days"...

~ and my little nephew Sean, (Now in his mid, er..LATE 30's) who I taught ping-pong to and coached on good table manners and no "smack talking"....challenged me to a game. (Albeit what turned out to be a very SHORT game.)

Score - 21 - 4 (and I was lucky to get 4 points)

One of three things are going to happen...

1) I return the table and paddles and balls
2) I practice every day for 8 hours
3) I ban a certain someone from ever darkening my doorstep again...

Time will tell....

Flag Football for Kids

My great nephew Griffin, who will be 6 years old in a couple of months, had his first flag football practice last night.
There were 30 excited, enthusiastic future Heisman trophy winners out there.
The coach was nice, supportive and extremely exhausted after the 44 minute session.
He had the kids run drills ~ like run 30 yards...
and throw 5 yards..and try to catch the ball from 5 yards away.
When they were given their first ever net football jerseys they screamed like made the all-star team.


It's flag football and so there will be no tackling of your opponent. They will only learn to pick the pocket of the runner with the flag. After these 6 weeks, we can send them all to New York to be street thieves just in time for Christmas.

They will practice 45 minutes for 4 weeks and then, have 2 REAL games.
I think Griffin had the best time until the end of practice, when someone told Grif's best friend to tackle him. CRUNCH. Bad ankle. I guess that's why they play flag football at this age. Oh, Griffin will be fine. We hope.

I have 6 more days to find a cheerleading outfit to match Griffin's mesh jersey color.

Countdown to Christmas

100 days until Christmas!
2400 Hours left to shop for that perfect present.
Spiff up the credit cards ~ start NOW to prepare for the one day of the year that the majority of Americans over-spend, over-eat and over-emphasize gift-giving.

I've experienced 55 Christmas celebrations and the best ones that I remember were the funny ones where we gave each other joke gifts and laughed uncontrollably. We played ping pong and darts and no one got mad because I beat them consistantly.
Now, understand that we gave and received nice presents...but I couldn't tell you the specifics about more than a handful of gifts...but I remember the laughing.
Since my family unit has changed it's profile over the years, with some gone and some additional members to enjoy, I feel more and more strongly that I want to make fun memories rather than open forgetful presents.
I pray that quality TIME spent vs. presents becomes the norm vs. a novel idea.

If someone spends even 15 minutes getting nervous or pressured because of not having the money to purchase the "right" presents, spend the next 100 days being creative about how to relax and enjoy the Holidays in a creative way.
Be grateful to have the time to spend with the ones you love.

I will now quietly step down from my Ivory Soap box...but it was fun while it lasted.

SLOW News Day

I read the news via CNN.com internet broadcast. They update their most visable stories hourly so I feel I am getting the most current look at what's happening across the world.

Today, included among the top 10 stories were:
Britney Spears giving birth again...to a son (That made my day..just having trouble figuring out what to buy her for a baby present).....and
Gary Weddle, age 40-something, from the state of Washington, has decided not to shave his beard until Osama Bin Laden is caught.
Finally! Someone is doing SOMETHING rational about getting that renegade into custody! I'm sure once our President and military personnel hear about Gary, OBL is as good as in handcuffs.
I will turn on the TV news tonight and the "BREAKING NEWS" will start off, "Growing Beard like Osama motivates military to capture Lead Terrorist, Bin Laden" . They may even fly Gary over to wherever OBL is apprehended, to have a photo opp.

Maybe if I stop mowing my grass, the networks will bring back the TV show, "Commander in Chief"?..or maybe I'll stop wearing deoderant...or eat popcorn everyhour on the hour...or blog every 15 minutes...

Football - Names & Team Mascots

Ah, football season has "kicked off" and I am amazed at the reminder of all the silly nicknames that these grown-up teams have chosen for their image.

I wonder which one sells the most crap like mugs, t-shirts, sweatshirts, golf club head-covers and Christmas stockings with their favorite team name and mascot plastered all over it?

When I was in college, our sports teams at Ohio University were namedBobcats...and the sports women were "lucky" enough to be labeled "Bob-kittens". (Oh, I loved that on the back of my golf skirt)

Now, take the Cleveland BROWNS...a DOG? And guy-fans LOVE to wear the dog-masks in the DOG pound! (at last I THINK they are masks..yikes!)

WHY would the following teams even CONSIDER these names?

The Cincinnati BENGALS ~ not a bengal tiger within 6000 miles unless you count the ones at the zoo)

San Diego CHARGERS ~ Do they have a credit card as their mascot?

Chicago BEARS, Jackson JAGUARS, Detroit LIONS...Can you imagine these animals EVER being found in their respective areas, not to mention running around the stadium?

New York GIANTS - the players are no larger than the Boise, Idaho local high school team members.
And if I were to name a team in New York, it might be the "New York Muggers" Wouldn't that fit the actions on the field better than the N.Y. JETS?

Kansas City CHIEFS...Well, after their opening loss, maybe they should be the "Squaws"...

Speaking of Native American Indian names, Washington REDSKINS? That should be changed to the "OFF-WHITE-SKINS", for sure.....do you think they have ONE Native American Indian on their entire roster?? OR in the entire CITY, for that matter!

San Francisco 49ers...what is a that? What possible mascot could they have?
Maybe it should be the San Fran "Chardonnay-ers".

Pittsburgh STEELERS - since the steel mills are all closed, they could be the only team that plays with NO HELMETS and be the Pittsburgh STITCHES.

I could go on and on...and on..
but I'm off to order some Christmas presents...Buffalo Bills (they'll send currency right?)

Take Me Out to the Ballgame (Golf., preferably)

The cost of being a sports enthusiast is getting more and more expensive. Hot dogs are as American as apple pie and baseball. But, when buying your hot dog at the Cincinnati Reds baseball stadium, does it have to cost as much as your ticket? Well, I guess EVERYTHING costs an appendage at a professional sporting stadium, right?
$4.00 for a hotdog on a cold bun and $6.00 for a luke-warm beer is just a little outrageous. (I didn't have the beer...but I know these things)
And WHY would someone pay another 50 cents on top of the crazy $6.00 to buy the same beer from a guy impeding my view (and auditory ability) of the game by walking up and down the aisles yelling lies at the top of his lungs, "Ice Cold Beer here!"? Oh, I know...because he doesn't want to miss one of the possible three hits in the 3 hours of exciting baseball.

I was given two $28.00 tickets to a Reds game. Parking costs anywhere from $10. on game day to $30. at a lot closr than 2 miles away from the stadium. I've already mentioned the ridiculous extortion for food ~ so, all in all, if two people were to attend the game and see it in half-way decent seats where you didn't need star-gazing quality binoculars, it would set you back $100. And you're not even playing! You're just watching!

Compare that scenario with playing a nice relaxing game of golf with 3 other dear friends. You actually are afforded the opportunity to PLAY the game, and you get 4-5 hours of excitement....and you can see every shot UP CLOSE, with the rare possible exception of the ones hit out of the sand as your eyes are blinded by the flying grains.
The hot dogs are $1.25 served on a warm bun. The beer is $1.50 and it IS ice cold (I DO know THIS for a fact..first hand! No discount on 4 of them, though),

In golf there is SOME excercise involved by windmilling at the 1" sphere 100+ times..and one is mentally, physically, and emotionally challenged. All this fun for $42.50 including food and beverage.

Ok, I forgot to mention one smallitty-bitty detail. One CAN get carried away with small, friendly bets with their golfing partners/opponents. This CAN result in some disturbing monetary losses that MIGHT very well exceed the $100. aforementioned amount associated with baseball spectatorship.

Maybe I should include in my comparison calculations the costs of golf lessons and driving range visits and lost golf balls.

Anyone want to go to a Reds game?

Irish Fortune Cookie

When people think of fortune cookies, most picture the Chinese cookie that says something quite pithy (I love that word) like:

"Man who is coasting is going downhill" ~

Irish fortune cookies can be just as impressive:

* Strength to the Elbow!

* Stay clear of a person who is so useless they are only fit to mind mice at a crossroads.

* One who gossips has a tongue that could clip a hedge.

* Plan so carefully that if you're not fishing, you're mending your nets.


Some fortunes that I would like to put in a cookie:

* The car valet is making copies of your keys

* Your telephone number will appear in Telemarketers Weekly as the number of the week

* You should have used the chopsticks

* Your blog will be read by many, appreciated by only a few

* Blog not unless you have something useful to say.

Hmmmm..maybe I've gone too far here

Baby Suri Cruise -

Finally! I can sleep tonight! Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes have released their long-awaited pictures of little hairy, Suri, who I THINK is a girl.
Vanity Fair Magazine has devoted 14 pages of typical posed pictures of the loving parents drooling over their off-spring.
VANITY is a good name associated with this press exposure.
"I think she has Tom's eyes" ~ Katie
"I think she has Katie's eyes" ~ Tom
Wouldn't it be funny if she had Johnny Depp's eyes?
Who would notice the eyes when she has more hair than are in the 45 wigs in Burt Reynolds closet! And it's blacker than Wayne Newton's "dome"!

Maybe that's what took so long to release these treasured photos. They were having Shirli's hair trimmed.
Oh, sorry..her name is Suri...what Saint is that? Don't good Catholics name their child after a Saint? And isn't Katie a Catholic from Toledo, Ohio? Oh, wait..she is maybe going to be a Scientist of some kind. Scientists must like odd names.

I've never seen a really cute picture of a baby. I do see the Miracle involved but they don't get close to cute for 3 years...(Present Murphy family children are the only exception)
Come on...you must admit that when someone shows you baby pictures, 9 out of 10 times, you want to say, "what animal kingdom was this one rescued from?" (only I never end a sentence with a preposition)

Behaviors that MAYBE Sugar-pie Suri shouldn't be punished for as she grows up:
1) Jumping on furniture
2) Criticizing her "friends" on national TV
3) Marrying and divorcing numerous times
4) Changing faiths
5) Starring in Mission Impossible 78

Prayers Work

I received an email from my friend and Financial advisor, Sherri Bleichner, about prayer. I am wondering if she thinks I need a litte "outside help" with my finances?
Here are some good thoughts:

Heavenly Father, Help us remember that the jerk who cut us off in traffic last night is a single mother who worked nine hours that day and is rushing home to cook dinner, help with homework, do the laundry and spend a few precious moments with her children.

Help us to remember that the pierced, tattooed, disinterested young man who can't make change correctly is a worried 19-year-old college student, balancing his apprehension over final exams with his fear of not getting his student loans for next semester.

Remind us, Lord, that the scary looking bum, begging for money in the same spot every day (who really ought to get a job!) is a slave to addictions that we can only imagine in our worst nightmares.

Help us to remember that the old couple walking annoyingly slow through the store aisles and blocking our shopping progress are savoring this moment, knowing that, based on the biopsy report she got
back last week, this will be the last year that they go shopping together .

Heavenly Father, remind us each day that, of all the gifts you give us, the greatest gift is love . It is not enough to share that love with those we hold dear. Open our hearts not to just those who are close to us, but to all humanity. Let us be slow to judge and quick to forgive, show patience, empathy and love.

OK, these ARE nice thoughts....hope they last longer than 5 minutes with me today.
~ that's MY prayer!

The History & Origin of Labor Day

Who really knows why we have the day off today?....please raise your hand.
Ok, you, Margaret Mary...who pens (er, TYPES) a most illimunating, creative blog called Musings by Margart Mary ~ what is your answer, please.

These are the facts...from the archived research files that I refer to daily....written by a home-schooling expert, Beverly Hernandez.

(As I read the history of LABOR DAY I thought, "Leave it to someone with Irish heritage to get the proverbial ball rolling to acquire more "pub time"..."


Eleven-year-old Peter McGuire sold papers on the street in New York City. He shined shoes and cleaned stores and later ran errands. It was 1863 and his father, a poor Irish immigrant, had just enlisted to fight in the Civil War. Peter had to help support his mother and six brothers and sisters.

Many immigrants settled in New York City in the nineteenth century. They found that living conditions were not as wonderful as they had dreamed. Often there were six families crowded into a house made for one family. Thousands of children had to go to work. Working conditions were even worse. Immigrant men, women and children worked in factories for ten to twelve hours a day, stopping only for a short time to eat. They came to work even if they were tired or sick because if they didn't, they might be fired.

Thousands of people were waiting to take their places.

When Peter was 17, he began an apprenticeship in a piano shop. This job was better than his others, for he was learning a trade, but he still worked long hours with low pay. At night he went to meetings and classes in economics and social issues of the day. One of the main issues of concern pertained to labor conditions. Workers were tired of long hours, low pay and uncertain jobs. They spoke of organizing themselves into a union of laborers to improve their working conditions. In the spring of 1872, Peter McGuire and 100,000 workers went on strike and marched through the streets, demanding a decrease in the long working day.

This event convinced Peter that an organized labor movement was important for the future of workers' rights. He spent the next year speaking to crowds of workers and unemployed people, lobbying the city government for jobs and relief money. It was not an easy road for Peter McGuire. He became known as a "disturber of the public peace." The city government ignored his demands. Peter himself could not find a job in his trade. He began to travel up and down the east coast to speak to laborers about unionizing. In 1881, he moved to St. Louis, Missouri, and began to organize carpenters there. He organized a convention of carpenters in Chicago, and it was there that a national union of carpenters was founded. He became General Secretary of the United Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners of America.

The idea of organizing workers according to their trades spread around the country. Factory workers, dock workers and toolmakers all began to demand and get their rights to an eight-hour workday, a secure job and a future in their trades. Peter McGuire and laborers in other cities planned a holiday for workers on the first Monday in September, halfway between Independence Day and Thanksgiving Day.

On September 5, 1882 the first Labor Day parade was held in New York City. Twenty thousand workers marched in a parade up Broadway. They carried banners that read "LABOR CREATES ALL WEALTH," and "EIGHT HOURS FOR WORK, EIGHT HOURS FOR REST, EIGHT HOURS FOR RECREATION!" After the parade there were picnics all around the city. Workers and celebrants ate Irish stew, homemade bread and apple pie. At night, fireworks were set off. Within the next few years, the idea spread from coast to coast, and all states celebrated Labor Day. In 1894, Congress voted it a federal holiday.

I think it should be called "Labor-less Day"...now, get back to work!

No Time Today to Blog...Sorry

Wow...I have so many things to do today. Blogging is at the bottom of this ridiculously long list.
Wait a second, I need to put the clean wash in the dryer.

OK, I'm back....I am just writing this short note to beg forgiveness from my fans who check these musings daily. Actually, I don't really think more than 2 dozen people check in on the weekend. My theory is that people read blogs on company time, which is kinda like stealing, don't 'cha think?

If I ...hang on..the timer just went off for my baking goods in the oven....
ok, where was I?

Oh, yeah..if I were to calculate how long people were emailing or blogging on company time it might look something like this:
Person making $20/hour (heck, that is 33 cents/minute!) IF one checks email once and/hour - 5 minutes/each time X 7 hours = 35 minutes.
Writing/reading blogs - 35 minutes/day. 70 minutes/day is what my calculation comes to and I might be conservative in some case or LIBERAL in others. But can you imagine at the end of the day when you leave the office/store/school/church or wherever you work..and your boss has his/her hand out and you have to pay them 33 cents for every minute you were doing personal stuff on company time?

OH, wait...I need to write 4 checks for bills to get in the mailbox before the letter carrier comes....

Wow...no time to write today...sorry...go back to work if you're reading this Tuesday....remember over this Labor Day weekend how lucky you are to have a job to labor at!

And please don't take the time to comment on this short blog...you'll owe another 99 cents or so...