Who Invented Ping Pong?

The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat have both been felt to my inner-most core by participating in the game of Ping Pong.
I started playing PP when I was about 10 years old. My parents felt the basement needed another game besides darts, maybe because my older 13 year old brother Dave, loved using the dart board and ME for some of his Magic Shows. He had seen the many magicicians on TV where someone tries to throw an ax or shoot arrows at a target with a woman standing in front of it. He enjoyed me re-enacting these trick substituting the dart board to simulate the other stunts.
Dave seemed mezmorized with magic and attempting any kind of tricks. He bribed me well over one hundred times to dress as his lovely assistant, Wanda, for neighborhood magic shows. I can't tell you how many coins got pulled from various orafices and how much water I had to drink from a fake water glass. At least he never tried to saw me in half...at least not in front of anyone.

Well, after neighbors complained, my folks thought that maybe a diversion was in order. So they purchased a ping pong table that saw a minimum of 4,578 games played on it for the next 20 years. My friends, my brother's friends, my parent's friends, people who we didn't even know would wonder down to the basement for a quick game.
We were the Ping Pong Palace and I was the reigning queen. By the time I was 17,no one could beat me, including my brother and Father. (well, maybe once in a great while)
Then my brother got married and had two sons. These two fellas got addicted early to the game..maybe when they were only 5 and 6 years old. They had experienced many years of smelling defeat up close and personal. There were numerous incidents of un-sportsman-like conduct....swearing...thrown paddles, scuffed up tables, split balls, injuries due to slamming into the concrete wall ~ and that was just ME.

Now I am fast-forwarding to the present. I am 55 years old and haven't played for at least 25 years. My nephews are just a little older than when I was in my prime. Maybe they can beat me a little now...
One nephew has a 33 year old wife who will remain nameless because after I trounced her 3 games in a row...she squeeked out a 26-24 win. (She enlisted the aid of her two children ~ ages 5 and 18 months, to distract me by throwing ping-pong balls, teddy bears, and I think a couple of gin & tonics on the table as I was trying to return her weak serve)

At the moment of defeat, I wailed my primal yell from the depths of my loins which I haven't had to do for many, many moons. Maybe some of you heard it about noon today?
Anyway..today I curse, albeit lightly, the people who invented that dreaded game.

I am thinking at this point, maybe being sawed in half is a better use of my time.