Hi, my name if Peggy and I am a competition-aholic.
I happpen to be a living-room-screaming, jumping-like-a-pregnant-kangaroo, Bengal fan.
I also admit to being a wee bit too obsessed with not only winning, but dominating at basement games with a tiny ounce of excessive energy.
Additionally, I enjoy a friendly hand-crunching wager centering on just about anything from:
"I can do the dishes in under 4:15"...to..."I'll bet I can reel off more 1950's TV shows faster than you can" (aimed at a 20 year old victim to tilt the edge in my favor)
Right now I am recuperating from the Bengals losing a ridiculous game by 2 points... I spent 185 minutes of my time watching grown men grunting, spitting, falling and flexing, all the while risking my health in a number of ways:
1) Holding my breath until the end of each play and wondering why I am light-headed
2) Eating way too many peanuts with machine-gun-like precision like the more that I shot in my mouth, the more likely Carson Palmer would find Chad Johnson in the end zone.
3) My stomach housing more knots than a fisherman's boat rigging...
4) My blood pressure creeping towards stroke level
Why do I care that much about this silly game? If they win or lose, it won't disturb my lovely little life one itsy bit.
But my emotions need to be controlled or my involvement in competition, whether as an desperate participant in some ego-induced bet or as a peanut-gobbling spectator, will be limited to wheelchair races in the hospital corridors.
For Christmas, SOMEONE needs to get me an automated heart defibrillator.
2 comments:
The only thing worse than what you describe is Tivoing the game for later viewing, then watching the whole thing, albeit fast forwarding through commercials, only to be horribly disappointed, when you could have just listened to the news on the way home and saved some heart palpitations and time. How's that for a run on sentence.
That sentence did run longer than the entire Bengal offense did yesterday!
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