Coupon Savings? I Don't Think So!

Why is it when I call a company for a "Special Offer Coupon for Big Savings", I end up being quoted 400% more than what my little coupon advertises?
Last week I called a company that circulated a coupon for AIR DUCT VENT CLEANING...$69.00 which included 10 air ducts and two "return" ducts.
I haven't had the air vents cleaned for at least 10 years and we've had some major dust from construction around the house so I thought it was a good idea. The last time we employed such a service, a 19 year old, 110 pound college freshman, majoring in Political Science ("Poly-Sci") named Chad, came in and charged us $49.00. He spent about 45 mintues using a big vacuum, a feather duster and followed up with a short squirt of lysol in the general direction of the registers.

Today two men, who I'm sure are bouncers at a local bar at night, arrived with 340 pounds of coil, generators and other equipment to blow out our vents. Guido, the head honcho, would remove a register plate, shine a flashlight in and mumble, "Oh, wow...the guys back at the office won't believe THIS ONE! Hey, Bus, you gotta come look at this!" (Yes, the second guy resembled retired Pittsburgh running back, Jerome Bettis...so THIS is what he's doing in retirement!)

Guido shook his head like I had just committed a 12th degree felony when I told him it had been 5 years since our last service. (Ok, I lied a couple of years.)
They spent 45 minutes just counting the vents and doing a quick "quote for an all-inclusive" cleaning. That was more than little Chad spent including the sweaty handshakes at the door.

Guido brought his clipboard to show my $69. + full-service quote....are you ready for this?
(Now, please understand that I was expecting to pay for the extra vents that exceeded the coupon's 10 that were allowed.)
But the grand total came to....$1159. (plus tax)
Guido had included a super cleaning, sanitizing and a special UV bulb, that would prohibit any mold or bacteria from ever THINKING of entering my duct/vent system.
He threw in two free tickets to the Circleville Pumpkin Festival and 4 ceramic mugs with his company's name on them. Boy, that's what I want to use to toast my egg nog with during the Holidays.
I kinda giggled a bit, that nervous little laugh like you're about to throw up but don't want to mess up the carpets because they had just been cleaned for $345 (never mind my "special $99 whole-house" coupon)

I asked if i really needed the $345 of sanitizing if I was buying a $489 UV lamp.
"good point, Mrs. Murray (grrrr)...we'll deduct that out from the total.
"I noticed that you put the Special price as $89...I thought it was $69" ~ I pointed out.
"Oh, that's right...I forgot which county I was in. We have all kinds of specials in the various counties that we service...that will be deducted from your total."

I said, "If you can do all of this for $359, you have a deal", never thinking they wuld come down to that price from $1159.
Guido furrowed his brow and shook his head and witha dramatic sigh he said, "Well, that will be a tough one ~ but we might as well roll the dice..can I borrow your phone?" I then saw him sneak a wink at "The Bus" and gave him a thumbs up like they had conned a novice referee to give them a 5th down with one yard to go for a touchdown.

After 10 minutes of blah, blah with his "boss" (he probably called his own answering machine), he told me, with a fake, pained expression of disbelief like the company will lose their license if they ever made this deal again ~ that he had unbelieveably great news! I thought he was going to tell me that the TV show Commander in Chief was returning!
He explained that since we were first time customers, and since I agreed to distribute 1200 business cards to my neighbors (I didn't), and that I SWORE I would NEVER tell ANYONE what a great deal WE were getting (HA!), the boss approved of a $389 deal. Guido was shaking with excitement as he started the paperwork in triplicate.
I, on the other hand, was shaking my head "No"...I said, "Sorry, Guido...I said $359, not $399."
I thought he was going to take my head and pass it to The Bus for spiking in the end zone.

Somehow, after another phone call, more theatrical acting that should win Guido some kind of award, and more blah, blah, I still got my "deal"...I THINK I am happy...but when I think of how I WAS going to spend $69...is it DEAL...or BAD DEAL? That is the question.

I think I'll stay away from coupons for a while.