Friday, May 30, 2008

Friday Thoughts ~



To escape the grip of a crocodile's jaws, push your thumbs into its eyeballs, it will let you go instantly. (I do not know if this applies to an alligator so you'd better ask that alligator who has you init's grip)

It is impossible for a solar eclipse to last for more than 7 minutes 58 seconds. (fascinating, don't you think? And here I thought it could last at LEAST 8 minutes!)

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky. (go ahead, visit a pig farm and get back to me)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds. (Who has the job of counting taste buds...can someone obtain a degree in this specialty?)

Just Peg's Pearls of Wisdom ~ you're welcome.
Have a great weekend!

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

This Story is Marble-ous ~ Scatter Daily



I found this forwarded message in my email today.
I normally just delete this kind of stuff but today is a day that I guess I just needed a good story of inspiration.
Thanks to Jan Crossen for sending it to me!

RED MARBLES

I was at the corner grocery store buying some early potatoes.

I noticed a small boy, delicate of bone and feature, ragged but clean, hungrily perusing a basket of freshly picked green peas.

I paid for my potatoes, but was also drawn to the display of fresh green peas.

I am a pushover for creamed peas and new potatoes. Pondering the peas, I couldn't help overhearing the conversation between Mr. Miller (the store owner) and the ragged boy next to me.

'Hello Barry , how are you today?'

' H'lo , Mr. Miller . Fine, thank ya. Jus' admirin' them peas. They sure look good.'

'They are good, Barry . How's your Ma?'

'Fine. Gittin' stronger alla' time.'

'Good. Anything I can help you with?'

'No, Sir. Jus' admirin' them peas.'

'Would you like take some home?' asked Mr. Miller .

'No, Sir. Got nuthin' to pay for 'em with.'

'Well, what have you to trade me for some of those peas?'

'All I got's my prize marble here.'

'Is that right? Let me see it' said Miller .

'Here 'tis. She's a dandy.'

'I can see that. Hmmmmm, only thing is this one is blue and I sort of go for red. Do you have a red one like this at home?' the store owner asked.

'Not zackley but almost.'

'Tell you what. Take this sack of peas home with you and next trip this way let me look at that red marble', Mr. Miller told the boy.

'Sure will. Thanks Mr. Miller .'

Mrs. Miller, who had been standing nearby, came over to help me.

With a smile said, 'There are two other boys like him in our community, all three are in very poor circumstances. Jim just loves to bargain with them for peas, apples, tomatoes, or whatever.

When they come back with their red marbles, and they always do, he decides he doesn't like red after all and he sends them home with a bag of produce for a green marble or an orange one, when they come on their next trip to the store.'

I left the store smiling to myself, impressed with this man.

A short time later I moved to Colorado, but I never forgot the story of this man, the boys, and their bartering for marbles.

Several years went by, each more rapid than the previous one.

Just recently I had occasion to visit some old friends in that Idaho community and while I was there learned that Mr. Miller had died.

They were having his visitation that evening and knowing my friends wanted to go, I agreed to accompany them.

Upon arrival at the mortuary we fell into line to meet the relatives of the deceased and to offer whatever words of comfort we could.

Ahead of us in line were three young men.

One was in an army uniform and the other two wore nice haircuts, dark suits and white shirts...all very professional looking.

They approached Mrs. Miller, standing composed and smiling by her husband's casket.

Each of the young men hugged her, kissed her on the cheek, spoke briefly with her and moved on to the casket.

Her misty light blue eyes followed them as, one by one, each young man stopped briefly and placed his own warm hand over the cold pale hand in the casket.

Each left the mortuary awkwardly, wiping his eyes.

Our turn came to meet Mrs. Miller . I told her who I was and reminded her of the story from those many years ago and what she had told me about her husband's bartering for marbles.

With her eyes glistening, she took my hand and led me to the casket.

'Those three young men who just left were the boys I told you about. They just told me how they appreciated the things Jim 'traded' them.

Now, at last, when Jim could not change his mind about color or size....they came to pay their debt.'

'We've never had a great deal of the wealth of this world,' she confided, 'but right now, Jim would consider himself the richest man in Idaho '.

With loving gentleness she lifted the lifeless fingers of her deceased husband. Resting underneath were three exquisitely shined red marbles.

The Moral: We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds. Life is not measured by the breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath.

Today I wish you a day of ordinary miracles ~ A fresh pot of coffee you didn't make yourself.

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

Green stoplights on your way to work.

The fastest line at the grocery store.

A good sing-along song on the radio.

Your keys found right where you left them.

Send this to the people you'll never forget.

I just Did...

If you don't send it to anyone, it means you are in way too much of a hurry to even notice the ordinary miracles when they occur.

It's not what you gather, but what you scatter that tells what kind of life you have lived!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Wanted: GOOD Newspaper Headline Writers



“War Dims Hope For Peace”

“Miners Refuse To Work After Death”

“Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide”

“Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charges”

“Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says”

“Local High School Dropouts Cut In Half”

“Hospitals Are Sued By Seven Foot Doctors”

“If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile”

“Typhoon Rips Through Cemetary; Hundreds Dead"

"Deaf Mute Gets New Hearing in Killing"

"Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

"House Passes Gas Tax Onto Senate"

"Stiff Opposition Expected to Casket-less Funeral Plan"

"Two Convicts Evade Noose, Jury Hung"

"Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted"

"Quarter of a Million Chinese Live on Water"

"Farmer Bill Dies in House"

Thursday, May 22, 2008

Cupid's New Equipment



So, Cupid has a replacement for his arrow.

I know advertising is everywhere. Lately I think the ads for viagra are "on the rise".

Today my email spam folder found something new ~ Ready for this?

"Professional Viagra" and it's offered in SOFT capsules which I would think is poor marketing....

I have so many things going through my mind right now to say about this particular product offering but I thought I would leave it to each of the reader's imaginations to elaborate...or not.

Have a memorable Memorial Day Weekend. I hope it is out-standing!

Life's a Gas!



Interesting May gasoline prices - Who's winning what war where?

Country/Territory US$/gal


United States $3.99

Saudi Arabia (Riyadh) $0.45

United Kingdom $8.18

Sierra Leone $18.42

Australia (Melbourne) $5.18

Belgium (Brussels) $8.44

Canada $4.88

China $2.44

Egypt (Cairo) $1.23

Germany $8.63

Hong Kong $7.56

Iran $0.41

Israel $7.20

Kuwait (Kuwait City) $0.78

Mexico (Mexico City) $2.36

Norway (Oslo) $9.71

Turkey $10.13

Turkmenistan $0.29

Venezuela (Caracas) $0.17

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Pocket Change


Pockets are an interesting invention.
I see some that are decorative only and are sewn into the clothing while others are bigger than a Mother's diaper bag.
Recently, on beautiful sunny, 70 degree day, I observed four men walking to their cars after having lunch at a local restaurant ~ and each one of them were walking with both of their hands stuffed in their (own) pockets.
I thought that maybe they belonged to some club.

I always thought that pockets were for tissues, keys and money. Maybe throw in a grocery list and paper clip here and there.

So, why do people walk with their mitts jammed down their pockets?
Are their hands really heavy and they're tired of carrying them around?
Are we that lazy that we need to rest our hands after a hard afternoon spooning soup in our mouths?

It just seemed odd to me.

But odder yet is the picture of a couple walking not arm-in-arm, but with a hand in each other's hip pocket. Is this a ritual to find out if where they carry their extra cash? Perhaps they are proceeding with a shake-down frisk to check for drugs.
It just doesn't seem very intimate to me. What happened to good old hand holding? Are we all germ-a-phobes?

These and other questions are written down on sticky notes that I guess I will carry in my pockets to ponder at a later date.
Aw, crud. I have the slacks on where the pockets that are sewn together. I'll have to make a note not to buy those anymore...

but where shall I put it?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Finally - My Ship Has Come IN!!




Now THIS can make me millions!
Who wants to partner up with me to find the worms?

Monday, May 19, 2008

Connie


This is my favorite sister-in-law, Connie.
She is multi-talented, funny, caring, politically fervent, semi-professional director and movie critic, reality TV addict and a good friend.

She has two of the most greatest sons who will ever walk this earth so she must have done something right in the Motherhood department too.

I was just thinking that I don't tell people enough good stuff.
So, Connie, I love you and am glad you came into my brother's life.
(And I hope you had a grand time in Hilton Head, you lucky dog!)

Friday, May 16, 2008

Happiness Is.....



Nice ad ~ from the 1950's maybe?

Since my formative years were about that era, maybe that accounts for my waves of euphoria...or could it be remnants from my college days, "As The Bong Turns".

Thursday, May 15, 2008

yad drawkcab = "backward day"





Some days I don't know if I am coming or going.

On occasion I will accidentally have my turn signal indicating right instead of left.
I have even put the salad fork in the wrong position at the dining room table.
Rarely I will step on the gas pedal and I had the gear in reverse rather than forward.
Grant it, I know there are some things that are supposed to be appropriate when done in a backward way but I wasn't in a rowing competition, impersonating a 15 year old skateboarder and the high jump was never my sport.

Yesterday I dressed early for an extremely busy day. I had a couple of insurance appointments that I had scheduled and had a stack of proposals to finish prior to meeting with my prospects. Being the efficient, professional person I see myself as, I felt both appointments went rather well.

And then I met a friend for lunch at a nice, upscale restaurant. She was already seated when I arrived. I greeted her and took off my coat and was glancing at the menu when I caught my dining companion looking at me with a questioning look.
"Peg, I think your sweater is on backwards."

"Uh, sure I knew that...don't you know it's 'spirit day'?"?
Then I asked her what SHE was wearing backwards...

I would have been embarrassed at my fashion blunder ~ until the waiter mentioned that I had the menu upside down.
I told him it was "upside down" day.

I love it when life throws me curves and I can still bunt the ball.
(Ok, I still didn't make it to first base but don't count me out!)

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

What to Pray For Today


What's the latest subject of your prayers?
Mine have included,:
*Lord, please don't let a train interrupt my travel on this road
*Oh, God...please let THIS be the lottery ticket that pays big
*Father, if you would only arrange for a quick grocery line today because I have a lot of things to do..
*Can you let me draw the card for my inside straight just ONCE?
*I am begging you to let this hot fudge sundae NOT go directly to my already flabby _____________ fill in many blanks...
*While I am baby-sitting, please, Lord...let the little one be poopy-diaper free.

And then in today's headlines I see:
* "18,000+ buried in China's earthquake"
* "Drought continues in Barcelona..water being shipped in"
* "Myanmar disaster victims awaiting aid"
* "Casualties continue in Iraq"

And then another headline which is the one MORE important to US since we are not directly affected by the other headlines...
"I-Phone sold out online"
I imagine some people prayed that they could be one of the "lucky" I-Phone owners.

Maybe I should re-think my own prayer requests.

Monday, May 12, 2008

Looking into the Future




Cooper (3) and his Mom getting ready for his first appearance in a tux...and in a wedding.

Gulp.

Could this be any sweeter?

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Mother's Day



Happy Mother's Day to everyone.

Today I went to Frisches Big Boy for an early breakfast with a friend of mine. When we were seated, the server gave us each a lovely Mothers Day card with a poem about how Mothers should be appreciated and included was a coupon for a free dinner. What a wonderful gesture. I didn't notice if this card was given to all patrons or just the women over 16. I DID hear the waitress mumble that it's too bad they don't acknowledge Father's Day with as much as a free beverage...and asked us "Is that fair?"
Well, gosh..I hadn't thought about it before because I didn't know Frisches ignored Fatherhood.

But back to Mom's 24 hour celebration. I must have heard the wish, "Happy Mother's Day" seven times in 42 minutes. Even people who brushed by us coming in and out of the restaurant were bubbling Matronly greetings in our direction.

I was watching a news program earlier and George Stephanapolis was being interviewed by a young newscaster and he wished her a Happy Mother's Day, only to have her to mention later to a colleague that she wasn't married and had no children.
Now I'm not saying that it is a stab to my heart that I was never blessed with cute little Peggy-ettes...and I sure don't want strangers asking me if I am a Mom before wishing me well...kinda like during the Christmas Holidays, some non-Christians get upset if greeted with "Merry Christmas". Do THEY want to be queried about their religious affiliation every minute of the day?

Ok, I think I am just babbling a bit today.
Don't you think that it's nice that perfect strangers (well, I don't know if they are PERFECT, but let's give me a little slack today) say ANYTHING nice to ANYONE?

I am blessed with knowing a few Moms who are dern near perfect. And there are a few out there who are lacking basic child-rearing skills but still love their kids. Whichever it is, I think Parenthood in general is a full time job with benefits...lots and lots of benefits albeit sometimes hidden amongst tantrums, frustrations, messy rooms, spilled milk (the no-tear kind), soiled diapers, sleepless nights and of course, tough love. Then comes the good stuff...the hugs, the pulled flower from your freshly planted garden and the smiles that could be blamed for Global Warming.

I, personally, miss having my Mom call me to talk about absolutely nothing of any significance.
I miss her telling me I put too much garlic in the meatloaf and too little onion in the wilted lettuce salad.
I miss us going to the zoo to watch the gorillas and having lunch by the river and having seed-spitting contests with Brian & Sean.

I miss her calling me up during a commercial of The Murder She Wrote show to tell me who she thinks murdered the rich guy's wife. (and to tell me she loves Angela Lansbury's pink blazer and maybe we could find one like it at Kohls Department store)
I miss her sense of humor where we bend over in giggle fits in the middle of a store just trying of clothes ~ she had Carol Burnett comedic timing.
I miss her playing along with me on elevators when I would start to make up a story about being robbed at gun point and she would act like she was interviewing me, asking me what happened next. On one accasion a woman followed us off the elevator when it wasn't her destination floor just to hear the end of our fabricated story.
I miss her giving me the peace sign when I drove out of her driveway.
I miss her treasured advice to "get showered and dressed even if you don't feel good..you'll feel better if you look better"....and I always did.
I miss her laugh that was infectious (even if the joke was on her).
I miss her getting out a row of aspirin bottles and heartburn medication when she would see either Grandson, Brian or Sean, drive up to the house. It was for THEM, not her as she adored the visits, announced or otherwise.

Sorry, gang...I HAD the best Mom. Yours might come in second.

Can you guess? I just plain miss her.

Friday, May 09, 2008

I am Feeling Good ~ until.....


Have you ever had a day where you felt on top of the world? You think that this is the rare day when your hair looks good, your clothes don't need ironing and the color selection of attire is perfect for the complexion....

This is MY day TODAY...
I'm thinking maybe people are probably going to mistake me for some celebrity that they can't quite identify. Strangers will smile at me and while looking me over like I am SOME-THING. Uh, huh.
Yep. Today I got it going on....

I have now arrived at my favorite breakfast diner to pick up my Carry-Out order that I had called in. I've paid my bill and am sitting with my celebrity sunglasses on, reading the paper while I am waiting for my order. Just then I overheard a fella at the counter say in a stage whisper, "Whoa! She is hot! She can come in for carry-out ANY time!" A couple of others chimed in their agreement and I sat there, smiling to myself, trying to ignore the compliment.
See? I knew I still had it at the age of 57!

I then glanced up from my shades just in time to see a 23 year old Heather Locklear look-a-like with a carry-out bag, completing her task of bending over to retrieve her dropped car keys.

Gulp. Suddenly, I felt like I was wearing gray instead of yellow. My 57 year old face must have looked like I was the older sister of Robert Redford.
My glorious self-esteem waivered more than a little as they called out, "Peg, your waffle is ready..."

I'm sure Heather's order was probably a double yogurt without the fruit with a side order of dry toast.

I'm going home to change my clothes, (probably a black t-shirt), maybe paint my fingernails a deep purple ~ and perhaps I'll give my ego a boost by watching The Jerry Springer Show.

Maybe tomorrow will be my day.

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Great Police Work


There was a BAN on purchasing a couple of common products in Virginia recently.
No kids are allowed to buy ketchup in squirt bottles nor eggs. Maybe the local high school's Home Ec educator(some referred to our teacher as Home "ICK" "back in the day"...) was giving homework assignments that included experimentation of strange tasting omelets? OR...some kids decided the weather is getting nice out so why not adorn local vehicles with a little colorful decorations.

Well, the local authorities thought that rather than go to the trouble of catching the kids and punishing them, it was much easier to put a ban on selling the kids the weapons...er..food products.

Wow...we have guns on every corner but one can't buy breakfast food and America's favorite hamburger sauce.

I hope the Presidential candidates are learning from these superior and creative governing techniques from the fine folks in Norfolk, Va.

Saturday, May 03, 2008

Church Bulletin Bloopers












~ The Outreach Committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.

~ The Pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

~ The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.

~ The Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 p.m. Please use the back door.

~ Ushers will eat latecomers.

Thursday, May 01, 2008

Be My Guest?


I've never understood the word "guest", I guess.
I always thought that if I were a guest in a person's home, if my "hosts" treated me to a beverage and perhaps a food product, at the end of the evening, a bill for the refreshments would not be delivered. I have been to many functions where I have been a guest and have never been asked to pay for anything.

I have even golfed as a guest of another person and - no check for the green fees. I have in turn, asked individuals to play in our "guest day" at the golf club where I used to enjoy a membership and I was happy to treat my golfing partner to a day of fun (especially if they played well and we were "in the money").

Last night I went out to dinner and there was a hostess who seated us a our table. When I commented to her that I liked the seating arrangement where I could enjoy the window view, she replied "we like to keep our guests happy."
So, I'm a GUEST, am I?
Yippee!!
I must admit that I was surprised when the menu came and there were prices to the side of each item. After all, when I have guests into my home, I certainly don't show anyone my grocery store receipt.

When the waiter mentioned that there were fresh scallops and even fresher Australian crab on the menu, I couldn't remember seeing any fishermen catching any of those around this part of the country and Australia is a loooooong way away to have something like a crab to arrive still kicking.
I also wondered exactly where the "fresh sun-dried" tomatoes were being dried. It had rained the past 4 days...hmmmm...

So, after a wonderful meal, complete with lovely background music that would make a Punk Rock enthusiast happy, we started to leave but were barred from exiting the restaurant. Apparently, I took the term "guest" a little too liberally.

Next time I have people over for dinner, I am seeing how slipping a small invoice for the meal will go over.

Maybe I should sign up for a Mastercard Merchant account?