Whoops! Slip of the Tongue

WEEKENDS ARE FOR FUN & FRIVOLITY.....ENJOY!

Below is a compilation of actual student bloopers collected by teachers
from 8th through 12th grades.

1) Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The
climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live
elsewhere.

2) The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One
of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3) Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went
up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever
reached Canada.

4) Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5) The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth.

6) Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that
name.

7) Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8) Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made
king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

9) Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple
while standing on his son's head.

10) Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a
success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted
"hurrah."

11) It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was
the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure
because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis
Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

12) The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He
was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made
much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and
Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be
laid by Juliet.

Ah, hem...enough of these mis-guided regurgitations out of the "moths of babes"

Vote for your favorite..if it matches mine, you win a prize!