Origin of "BREAK A LEG"

Over the years I have been involved with many theater productions, and actors seem to have some strange "superstitions". But one of the strangest is to never say "Good Luck" to someone before a performance.
Wishing one "good luck" is bad luck. But saying "Break a leg" is good luck.
Why are actors so backward? I researched the meaning behind such a dumb tradition and this is what I discovered.

Actors have always been a superstitious bunch, as you might expect from a profession in which employment is sporadic, audiences fickle and reputations fragile.

The saying is widely used among actors and musicians in the theatre today, sometimes before every performance, but more often reserved for first night. Where it comes from has for decades been a source of dispute and here are some speculations:

* In earlier times, actors wished one another “may you break your leg”, in the hope that the performance would be so successful that the performer would be called forth to take a bow — to bend his knee.
* At one time audiences showed their appreciation by throwing money on the stage; to pick the coins up, actors had to break their legs, that is, kneel or bend down.
* The curtains on either side of a stage were called the legs, so that to pass through the legs was to make it out on to the stage ready to give a good performance, or perhaps expressing the hope that you will need to pass through them at the end of the show to take a curtain call, implying your performance had been good.
* The saying really refers to getting one’s big break, that the performance will be good enough to ensure success in one’s career.
* The famous French actress Sarah Bernhardt had a leg amputated in 1915, which didn’t stop her performing; it is considered good luck to mention her in the hope that some of her theatrical prowess will rub off by association.
* John Wilkes Booth, the actor who assassinated President Lincoln, broke his leg when he jumped on to the stage to escape afterward. Somehow, reminding fellow actors of this event is supposed to lead to good luck in the performance.

The above leaves me to wonder:

If John Wilkes Booth had strained his groin, how may the saying have changed?

I also wonder if football players say "Break a nose"' or "Sip your soup" for luck...or as big as they are, maybe they can say "Good Luck" without worry.

The Gift That Is Driving Me "Nuts"

I was "lucky" enough to receive a beautiful small bird feeder as a gift last winter. Since the cute little feathered friends don't rely on supplemental cuisine until late fall, I just recently gave this "present" a high profile place of honor.

We have a scenic backyard facing a wooded area, so I decided to hang the feeder on a small Dogwood tree. I was giddy with excitement at the prospect of sitting on my enclosed back porch to witness the variety of hungry birds flocking to their new "dining room".

I settled into my favorite stuffed chair, accompanied by a nice cup of cider and waited.
WOW! Sure enough, they must have heard the dinner bell and I sat astonished that within an hour, I saw cardinals and woodpeckers and finches and....lions and tigers and bears, Oh, MY!
OK, I didn't see lions, tigers and bears but I DID see rats with tails that some would call "squirrels" invading the party. I was so frustrated that these bullies were scaring off the delicate birds and inhaling the grub like football players before the "big game".
Their table manners left a lot to be desired too, with BIRD food flying everywhere.
Don't squirrels know they are supposed to be eating NUTS, not bird seed?

Plan A - I'll move the feeder to the outer branch where the fury-creatures CAN'T reach and the feathered creatures CAN. WRONG...these squirrels were trained by P.T. Barnum himself. They flew through the air with all four paws spread to acquire a precarious spot on top of the feeder. They would then balance like a tight-rope walker as the little feeder swayed, then contorted themselves upside down to pilfer the goods.

I called the local authorities to discuss my options as to the methods of ridding myself and my bird-friends of the invaders. They weren't much help at all as they informed me that I could get jail time for what I had in mind.

Plan B - I decided to visit the local WILD BIRDS UNLIMITED store, apparently so I get get confused with the 37 different "squirrel-proof" feeders one can acquire, not to mention what currency could get separated from my wallet. I purchased shepherd's hook to attach the feeder on and hopefully the squirrels would just slide off. WRONG. I have Houdini squirrels and they scampered up the pole like it was a ladder.

Now I have NO BIRDS at ALL visiting my "gift"...

Plan C - Spend MORE money and procure a better anti-Squirrel feeder. $90. bought the perfect EAT-AT-PEG'S aviary restaurant. This is not a birdhouse anymore, but a glass spiral container for bird-munchies, hanging from the same Dogwood tree.

I didn't want to waste the original present of the cute birdhouse so I strapped it to the deck railing for the squirrels. They seem to be playing poker as they eat, scratch their furry bellies and burp. At least now I can now watch both species enjoy a frugal repast.

The cost of my "gift" was a total of $221.45 when I include gasoline for 4 trips to the store, the first month's worth of bird and squirrel cuisine and the two new feeders.

It would be greatly appreciated that any future gifts should be able to fit in my wallet please.

The Gift That Keeps On COSTING...or...What We Do To Keep Friendships

I love my family.
I love my friends.
I love presents.

However, sometimes I don't love the gifts that are bestowed on me from my family and friends.


Have YOU ever received a gift that cost YOU more than your last car?


THE MIME
One year for Christmas, my best friend gave me a poster of THE MIME...I never did slap it up on my bedroom wall because after all, I wasn't in college anymore where I used to secure my David Cassidy posters all over my dorm room with scotch tape. I needed a nice, classy frame. Unfortunately, I kept forgetting to get one.
Lynne kept asking me why I hadn't hung up my Christmas present yet. I kept telling her that I was thinking of moving and I hated to put another tape mark on the wall.
(I have to say that Lynne never thought that I was thrilled with the gifts she chose for me over the years and I think that she felt a little insecure about their acceptance.
Oh, well....)

So, fast forward 10 months and I received a lucrative job offer in the thriving metropolis of Toledo. The move was not fun but what move is?
I had totally forgotten about my rolled-up poster that had long-ago been packed away.
Forgotten, that is, until my generous gift-giving friend, Lynne, called me at work one day to tell me she wanted to come visit me at my new apartment. She had given me three weeks to get settled and was anxious to see my new "digs."
"Great! When are you coming?" I asked.
"This weekend ~ and I can't wait to see where you put the MIME poster!"
I kinda murmured an obligatory, "Yippee" and added "I can't wait to see you..."

GULP..PANIC!
I had 4 days to find the poster, take it to a frame shop and hang it up before she knocked on my front door. I found that big-city Toledo hosted just ONE frame shop within 40 miles, but at least I found a place to help me out. Whoa...I still needed to find the Mr. MIME!
I left work at lunch time, trucked home and tore through packed boxes in my nervous attempt to capture the sucker. After 45 minutes, I found it but in my haste to retrieve it from it's hiding place, I ripped it. This was a big time tear that the nuns working on The Shroud of Turin couldn't help.

"Oh, crud"...and other words not quite ready for prime-time spilled out of me like Old Faithful.
Where was I going to get a new MIME replacement and have it framed in time to spare my friend jail time from the crime she would, without a doubt, commit against me? (an offense that the attorneys on Boston Legal would have trouble defending?)

I had an idea. I called Hilda, the friend of Lynne's who accompanied her when she bought the poster 11 months earlier. She, after 15 minutes, remembered the name of the shop where it had been purchased ~ but it was in Columbus, 2 hours away! I called the number anyway and sure enough, they had the poster, with one MAJOR difference ~ it had been signed by the artist. "Oh, crab-cakes!!" (and other expletives)
Now this "present" would cost me $65.00 (instead of $12.00 for an un-signed print like Lynne had given me) Then he offered to overnight it to me for an added $16.00.
"OK, I guess it's better than getting maimed." (a remark the clerk obviously didn't hear or care if he heard)

The print arrived the next day and I rushed it over to the frame shop. They told me they could have it double-matted and framed by Monday, or Saturday by the latest.
"Oh, rat puppies!" She's coming Friday!"
After begging the manager to finish the project in two days and consequently agreeing to a 20% up-charge for a rush job, I was promised my MIME would be done on time. I paid the entire $185 upfront to save time when I came in on Friday.

As you can imagine, when Friday came,I was as nervous as a cat in a roomful of rocking chairs.
I left work early and picked up the framed autographed print without major incident except a blithe remark whispered by the manager as I was leaving, "At least she didn't CRY today."
I raced home with my prize but then found myself in a quandary as to where the heck to place this HUGE piece of artwork (the nomenclature morphs from a poster to a print to a piece of art when money escalates close to the national debt).
I didn't have time to re-arrange my whole apartment to find a place for this 24"x48" intruder. The only spot in my tiny dwelling that had a blank wall was in my bedroom.
I grabbed a hammer and the appropriate hanging materials and just as I centered Mr. Mime, I heard THE KNOCK.
"IT'S LYNNE!"..my heart pounded. I calmed myself with self-talk ~ "Settle down, Peg...it ok now....she'll never know you ripped her present."

After the mandatory "hello hugs" Lynne started her own self-tour of the apartment and repeatedly said, "well, where is it?"
"What are you looking for?", I coyly responded.
"Oh, you know", as she slapped me playfully on the shoulder, "the MIME!"
As she finally found it on the bedroom wall I could tell that she was disappointed that it hadn't secured a grander placement for itself in the living room. I cut her thinking off by spewing, "Oh, I just LOVE waking up every day to gaze upon the beautiful MIME!"
THAT seemed to mollify her a bit. I finally started to relax and as I guided her out of the room with the promise of a glass of her favorite adult libation, she stopped abruptly..spun around and headed back to the "art".

"This isn't the same print that I got you," she accused.
"Oh, CRAP!, I breathed...she noticed the autograph!"
"Wh..what are you talking about?" I stammered.
"The print that I bought for you wasn't signed."
"Oh, yeah...but I was in great luck...the artist was in town and I took it over to the art gallery and he signed it for me," I lied.

"Oh, cool" she responded.

That happened 18 years ago. She still doesn't know.
I've asked for Christmas cookies every year since then.
But I still haven't forgiven HER for costing me over $260 for my $12 Christmas present!


Wait until tomorrow's article when I tell you about a present a family member gave me that cost me even more!

Today I'm In Time Out

I may have bitten off more than I can chew this weekend.
Please forgive me as I take a day off.
Go Bengals. I hope I can pry an eye open to watch the game.

Kids Will Steal Your Heart

Great nephew Griffin is about to have a birthday. I can't decide if he'll be 4 years old or 22 but his birth certificate says he'll be 6...
Sometimes he acts so mature, like when he comforted ME when I couldn't find an engineer's striped cap (for ME) when we went to see Thomas the Train. He kept patting my elbow as we were walking to the car saying "I'm really sorry, Pegger....maybe we can find your cap somewhere else...it's going to be ok..want some ice cream?"

Yesterday I asked him if he would take care of me when he earned a "million, million, million dollars plus 2" (his words)...he replied with adult frankness, "No, but I think Mommy will"...he finally relented when I pursued the subject and fetched his tiny savings bank pig. He opened it up and gave me 10 cents that I was "TO USE ONLY FOR CHARITY".

Griffin's Mom, Annie was telling me about the day he was home from school sick. He asked her if he dialed the same phone number upstairs to call me as he did from the downstairs phone. He told her he wanted to tell me he loved me. When he called me, he said, "Pegger, I uh, just called to uh...er...I was wondering...do you want to take me to the putt-putt course today?" As I explained that it might be better to go another time since he was sick and it was 42 degrees out he interrupted by blurting out, "I love you"...and that's the only reason I called...well, that and the putt-putt thing..bye."

The other night we had a crew of friends of Griffin's parents over to play ping pong and other games in the lower level. I figured that Grif was bored because there were no kids his age to play with him. He asked for some white paper and a pen and he busied himself drawing and writing. Later, as everyone was getting ready to leave, Grif said I had something on my back. Sure enough, there was a paper that he had secretly taped on me. I quickly theorized that I would find the words "KICK ME" on it like I used to do as a practical joke (heck, I did it just last week to the mailman!)...

no..there were just a variety of sizes of the letter O scribbled all over this 8 1/2 x 11 sheet.
I said "Grif..those are great O's!"
He said, "You're silly..those are HUGS!"

I went to bed that night cradling my "hugs".

Today I Made $492

I received my monthly Time Warner bill and gasped as I realized how much I was spending on cable "stuff"!
I have 4 TV's connected to cable; 1 "land" phone line with unlimited long distance; and 5 computers running off a wireless cable connection.
I keep reading and hearing about Time Warner's competitor, Cincinnati Bell's latest offerings and I think to myself, "Self...let's save some money today"
Thanks heavens "self" agreed or I wouldn't have a subject to talk about.

I called Time Warner and started the conversation by telling them that I wanted to cancel my current TW service and switch to Cinci Bell, babbling (inventing from my wild imagination) that Cin Bell could save me $24/month, which was $288/year which is $2880 over 10 years.
Mr. Time Warner Guy looked up my account number and without any hesitation, he informed me of good news: "You qualify for a reduction of your bill." He then told me he could save me $41.10/month, which was $492/year which was $4920 over ten years. (I dislike it when they use my same sales-ploy to win me back)

I'm very happy that I feel like I earned an annual savings of $492..but then I think, "If I qualify for this NOW, why didn't they call ME before I contacted THEM, to inform me of my "Priority Customer Qualification"?"

Hmmmm. Me sniffs a skunk somewhere. Ah, nay...just good business practices, right?

A Name Is a Name Is a Name

Today a coupon magazine was delivered to my house. I was wondering about how some of the advertisers come up with their company names.
I, personally, love to see business names that actually reflect what the company is selling or providing as a service. When I look for any product, I want to utilize a company that mirrors their area of expertise through their name.
Examples: (you knew that I was going there didn't you?)

Channel #5 - I would think that product is a very small TV with one channel.
Chiquita - what an odd name for a company but I know they "go bananas" in Cincinnati...otherwise the name sounds like a small reptile.
100 Monkeys is a real title of a company.
I know they are in the field of computers but how would I know that by their name? I would think maybe they sell perfume or bananas before I would think they are software engineers.

Can you guess what kind of companies these are?
1) Walk This Way
Maybe a modeling agency? A shoe store? Nope, it's hair and nail shop. I never walk with my hair or nails, unless I let my fingers do the walking through the yellow pages.

2) America's Best Service I'm kinda hoping they may be an Army Training camp? What is the best service that America could provide? Meals to the needy? Job training? Child tutoring?
Nope..air duct cleaning.

3) Always Secure Maybe a classy diaper or femine protection product? A new deoderant pad? A breath mint?
Nope...Home security system

I do kinda like an adjective describing the company in the name so I'm either very confident of their service or, at the very least, I'm not confused:

A-1 Door Systems...good...I wouldn't want someone messing with my door who got called themselves D- Portals.

Airport Fast Park That's a better name than Parking So Slow That You Might Miss Your Plane

Gutterchamp (vs Gutter-loser)Although now that I think about it, I've never seen a televised Gutter sporting event...

Restaurants that are kinda cocky:
Authentic Mexican (Vs. the Italian knock-off taco)
W.G.Grinders has a great slogan - Anything else is half-baked!

Way out in the country you might drive by a restaurant that isn't used to advertising or elaborate marketing schemes. GOOD EATS
I like that...no doubt what they do and how they do it.

Then you have the company names that leave no question what service they provide.
This company was at the BACK of the coupon magazine....I mean, the VERY "END".....
Hemorrhoid Relief Center

I think maybe I spent way too much time coupon clipping today.

Here Come 'da Judge!

For those of you who know me, you probably don't know my spiritual side. I don't wear that part of me in public very often. My excuse is "that's how I grew up" (ugh! I can't stand that when others say that to me about their rationale for doing or not doing something!)
Recent well-publicized events about immorale activities of authority figures have given me pause to reflect on how I feel about the media circus regarding imperfections.
We are all exposed to circumstances every day where we want to be judge, jury and executioner. It's really tough to not be judgmental, isn't it? Look at all the "Judge shows" that are televised. Court judges rule the airways: traffic court, divorce court, neighbor-borrowed-my-toothbrush-and-never-returned-it court. And then in prime time TV land we have snotty little judges being rude to hard-working contestants on dance and singing shows.

Lately, headlines about various admirable people in positions of power and influence have shown us that we are all indeed, fragile, vulnerable, and quite fallible. We are people who make mistakes with various degrees of naughtiness every single day.
There hasn't been a day I've lived where I haven't made a pretty hefty goof, how about you?

Now, more than ever, it seems that the people who we most admire and sometimes want to emulate are making big-time boo-boos that are splashed all over the news.
Occasionally human nature causes us to make it ALL ABOUT US ~ maybe we think that we've been duped. ~ "I guess maybe I didn't know him very well since he was keeping this kind of secret", one might surmise. OR ~ "Maybe I shouldn't trust ANYONE if I can't trust my.....priest...my CEO...my senator...my local sheriff...my best friend." Yep. You can put ANYONE's name in that sentence because we all have screwed up to varying degrees. Why would those we love or people in authority be any different?

Have you ever heard someone react to a (supposed) enemy's demise with, "Great! I'm so glad that so-and-so has been knocked off his pedestal! I hope they lynch him!"
Ah, such words of kindness and love.

I remember coming out of church where 500 people had heard the same sermon about "love thy neighbor". I walked out of church, feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.
When I reached my car, I found that someone had placed a hand-scrawled note on my windshild, lashing out a sermon of another kind ~ because they thought that I had parked too close to their vehicle.
Anyway, it kinda ruined the "glow" of the service for me a little.

"Judge not, lest ye be judged"..HA!
I've found myself feeling way to comfortable in that judge's robe lately.
Now I want to find myself in the forgiveness role a tad bit more.
I've been blessed throughout my life to have made errors in judgment and people have forgiven me. I've screwed up like a gold-medal winner of Olympic offenses, but been released without a blemish on my record.
Lucky me.

"Let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
(Whoa...I've had a barnyard load of stones that I keep throwing..what's up with that?")

Matt. 7:1 "Do not judge, or you too will be judged."
(Ah, come on...not ME! That's for OTHERS...right?)


Maybe someday I'll really understand some of those quotes and wear those ugly "judgy" robes a little less frequently.

The List of Mute Targets

I love the mute button on my TV remote. I will admit that I am still in the dark ages when it comes to using the latest editing features of TV land...using TIVO or DVR to escape annoying commercials and political ads.
But when a noise comes on the TV I don't appreciate, sure can find the trigger to.. MUTE....

Now, I'm not THAT much in the stone age where I can't read a newspaper or use the internet to research info on political candidates ~ or the sudsing action of the latest soap product.

This is the time of the year that I would really enjoy having a portable MUTE button that works on anything.
As touched upon earlier, the November airways are crammed with either mud-slinging candidates who, on one hand, talk the nasty at the opponent, and in the same ad, smile as he shows what a loving family man he is walking his daughter down the aisle at her wedding.
Will I vote for a guy because he is a Dad? MUTE..or that he drives a 1993 car?...or that he mows his own lawn? MUTE

Will I vote for someone who says nothing about what they stand FOR but slam their opponent viciously? MUTE

I love to answer the phone during dinner time to hear a chirpy voice diving right into why I should support issue #467...MUTE

When I go to the Doctor and the skinny 112 pound Beauty Queen nurse asks me to step on the scale....MUTE

On the occasion when my accountant calls to tell me my tax bill...MUTE

When the dentist tells you, I have good news and I have bad news..MUTE


But the real kicker is...when on Halloween, the tricksters come to the door, like:

The kid dressed like a sweet kitten with whiskers painted on her little face and she holds two bags...the size of leaf trash bags...and she looks up at you with the saddest brown eyes and says, "can I have some candy for my little brother who is too sick to come out tonight?"...and you want to dump the rest of what is left of your candy and your entire contents of your wallet into her bags...but then you see her Mom behind her...
with a designer "beggar bag".....



Double MUTE MUTE

WHAT? Please don't confuse me!

What "sign" are you? I remember that phrase was asked 1000 times when I was in college. I happen to be an Aquarius but one of my friends from Athens, Ohio who went to Slippery Rock had no clue about astrological signs....she got a huge laugh when she said, "Methodist".




Some signs can be confusing, distracting or...in these cases...kinda funny.

At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."


On an electrician's truck
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a nonsmoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."


At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."


At the electric company:
"We would be de-lighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be."

Inside a Bowling Alley:
"Please be quiet, we need to hear a pin drop."

Sign at the psychic's Hotline:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."

WANTED: Safe Return of Gigi

My friend, Nikki and her fiance, Lou, have the cutest little 5 year-old Westie pooch.
This spoiled canine has the nicest dispositon, rarely barks, never begs for food and is a joy to be around. Nikki allows her to accompany her to work over the river in Ft. Mitchell, where Gigi greets her owner's relexology clients and they adore her (and Nikki, too, for that matter).
Yesterday it was a chilling drizzly day, with the temperature hovering around 45 degrees. Nikki took Gigi on her usual 8 a.m. walk across the street from their 7th floor residence in a high rise facing the river in downtown Cincinnati. They had to cross a very busy road to reach the mile-long park on the river's edge. Nikki let Gigi off the leash to roam a bit when, without notice, she bolted like a rabbit with Nikki in hot pursuit. Unfortunately, the white dog was a blur like she was training for the Flying Westie Marathon.

Well, sadly, after hours of searching, calling Gigi's name, asking joggers and dog walkers for help, no Gigi. Nikki had called Lou and he left work and spent the rest of the day hunting for any trace of the missing pet. After 8 hours, he visited the local SPCA, hoping a kind stranger had turned her in. No luck.

I got a frantic call on my answering machine from Nikki around 3 p.m. I enlisted the help of my friend, Susan, and off we drove to aid in the search. It was miserable outside. Bone-chilling and raining. All we could do was think of this furry little innocent creature shivering cold, hungry, scared and possibly, hurt. We couldn't help but look with trepidation down the embankment toward the river, fearing that she had maybe lost her footing in her excited curiosity to explore. All kinds of maddening scenarios flicker across the mind's movie screen when you're desperately looking for one of God's vulnerable creatures.

It grew dark and we were losing hope. It had been over 10 hours now since Gigi started her exploring journey. We hated leaving the area and as we drove north in silent prayer, we were still looking for the missing "white spot" but feeling our hopes drain.
An hour after we got home we received a hysterically happy call from Nikki. She and Lou had returned from their search and had just entered their building. They were talking with the two front desk attendants when one of them noticed something on their security monitor. "There's a white dog at the front door!" ~ one of them shouted.
They raced to the building's entrance and there was Gigi ~ wagging her tail, dry and looking as good as she had the day before, after she had returned from her monthly grooming.

How did this dog survive 11 hours in the cold and rain and return on the heels of her owners' homecoming? How did she cross that very busy road and remain dry and clean?
Who knows? Gigi isn't talking.
But I DO know that there were a plethora of prayers sent in her name.....and....I'm a believer!
Thank you, Lord!

I think maybe Gigi is sporting a new collar/leash today.

The Men in My Life

I am blessed with great guys as relatives in my life. This is a pretty tough act to follow given my Dad and Brother were the absolute finest men in the world. But Dave had a couple of sons who followed in both their Father's and Grandpa's big footsteps...they are handsome, witty, generous and humorous and they both ATTEMPT to beat me at golf and ping pong. They also both were clever enough to find a spouse who is the absolute best partner for each of them!

But probably the finest contribution they have given us are their children.
Griffin, 6, adores his 13 year old cousin, Connor (see left picture)and Griffin is trying to be a good big brother to Cooper (18 months, top pic), and teach him how to dance. Reminds me of how Brian took Sean under his wing. (here in the red shirt arm-wrestling Sean, to see who gets to play Champion Aunt Peggy in Ping Pong first)















Now I can't wait for little-girl Parker to get old enough for all these men to become supremely over-protective of her!

The Longest Hour of My Life

I am normally extremely comfortable in social situations. But then again, most of my socializations are around adults ~ or children who are related to me, thus I can be myself.
Today I journeyed WAY outside my comfort zone and was pursuaded to help with Griffin's one hour Halloween kindergarten party.
(I may never forgive the pursuader)
Since it was, after all, a Halloween party, I thought that I would get in the "spirit" of the occasion and dress up a little. I grabbed a Mickey Mouse apron, chef hat and spatula. Simple, yet festive. (I thought)
When I was picked up by my niece and her well-behaved 5 year old, Annie laughed at my appearance but Griffin wouldn't speak to me. Later he confided that HE thught that everyone in the whole class would laugh at me. I told him, "that was the point..to have FUN..."

I had brought along my camera because my intention was to simply enjoy snapping pictures. I never dreamed anyone would ask me to actually help out.

There were about 9 drafted parents to lend their help, so I was certain that no one would even notice I was there.
Well, the celebration included not one, but TWO classes of 5 year-olds. Their schedule of fun included having each of the forty-four munchkin participants spending 11 minutes at FIVE different "activity-stations".

I was trying to stay out of everyone's way so I sat close to the windows (planning an escape route) when the "head party-planner Mom" threw a bag of stuff at me, pointed at a nearby miniature round table and instructed me to handle the making of "creative" spider cookies,
("oh, crap", I breathed)
I was panicking...then I finally caught Annie's eye across the room and motioned her to get over here and take over. She actually hurdled over 3 tables to get to me ~ MAYBE becauseI might have given her the impression with my wild, desperate, out-of-control sign language, that a blood-curdling screaming was about to commence.
Do you know that Annie opened 12 juice boxes and spiked the little straw in the containers, before I could manage ONE?


She had calmly and swiftly taught 5 rounds of seven kids how to decorate their cookie like a spider, all the while making clever 5 year old chit chat, and still managed to distribute the needed paper plates and napkins. She then wiped their little faces, cleaned the table and ushered in the next group without missing a beat.
Meanwhile, I sat frozen....and in awe.


I DID manage to take a few pictures and help two kids shed their cumbersome costumes.
I swear that the clock had stopped because the one hour that I had committed to lasted at least 2 days.

Me and my apron and chef hat went home and took a long nap.

God bless young Mothers.

FOOTBALL SUNDAY = HEALTH PROBLEMS

Hi, my name if Peggy and I am a competition-aholic.

I happpen to be a living-room-screaming, jumping-like-a-pregnant-kangaroo, Bengal fan.
I also admit to being a wee bit too obsessed with not only winning, but dominating at basement games with a tiny ounce of excessive energy.
Additionally, I enjoy a friendly hand-crunching wager centering on just about anything from:
"I can do the dishes in under 4:15"...to..."I'll bet I can reel off more 1950's TV shows faster than you can" (aimed at a 20 year old victim to tilt the edge in my favor)

Right now I am recuperating from the Bengals losing a ridiculous game by 2 points... I spent 185 minutes of my time watching grown men grunting, spitting, falling and flexing, all the while risking my health in a number of ways:
1) Holding my breath until the end of each play and wondering why I am light-headed
2) Eating way too many peanuts with machine-gun-like precision like the more that I shot in my mouth, the more likely Carson Palmer would find Chad Johnson in the end zone.
3) My stomach housing more knots than a fisherman's boat rigging...
4) My blood pressure creeping towards stroke level

Why do I care that much about this silly game? If they win or lose, it won't disturb my lovely little life one itsy bit.
But my emotions need to be controlled or my involvement in competition, whether as an desperate participant in some ego-induced bet or as a peanut-gobbling spectator, will be limited to wheelchair races in the hospital corridors.


For Christmas, SOMEONE needs to get me an automated heart defibrillator.

Halloween...Did someone say "TREATS"?

It's that time of year, again.
Time for us all to put on a mask, scare any innocent by-stander, drink too much cider at the kids parties, swill too much spiked (by the evil witch) punch at an adult's gathering, and inhale candy like it was the latest all-natural condiment.

Yes, this IS supposed to be the KIDS time of the year, but I have seen some adults..hmm..or maybe I should say "older kids"? get into the festivities like it was MardiGras for full force.

Now these same mature(?) grown-ups must be getting bored with just dressing up their kids and themselves. They have moved on to their pets...adorning them with theatrical outfits that would make professional Hollywood costumer-makers drool.
I have received about 56 emails that have pictures of all breeds of animals in their cute little pirate costume or their Richard Nixon mask. They must think it is the ultimate "TREAT" for these pets.

If we like this holiday so much, why don't we have it once a week?
Be creative all year long?
Be someone else every seven days. (Most of the guys I know will dress like Donald Trump, hoping some of the "success" will rub off.)

Me? I think I will stick to my own outfits. The other morning, I rolled out of bed way too early and decided to start my day visiting the Waffle House...before my normal routine of a shower, make up, etc. One of the waitresses asked me if I was going to a Holloween costume party as Rip Van Winkle.
She didn't get much of a tip.

I guess I should bite the bullet and figure out a cutesy costume for Bailey. I think just some sunglasses so he can be a doggie movie star will suffice.



(Unless he begs me to dust off the Paris Hilton outfit for ME and the chiquaqua outfit for HIM..again)

Minimum wage

Get out my BIG BOX of TIDE....my soapbox of choice!

I would love to initiate a question to about 100 people in the Cincinnati area. I wonder how many would know what the minimum wage is and how many would know what their congressman earns (I use the term "earn" loosely).

Here is a quote from an article and although this information is a few months old, I think it is interesting with the elections ‘round the corner:

By Lou Dobbs CNN
Wednesday, June 21, 2006;
"Without much fanfare, the House of Representatives last week (June, 2006) voted to give members of Congress yet another pay raise, as it has done almost every year for nearly a decade."
"For some reason, our elected officials decided against holding a news conference. Maybe that's because they didn't want to draw attention to the fact that they raise their own salaries almost every year while refusing to raise the pay of our lowest-paid workers."
“…since the last time Congress increased the minimum wage for our lowest-paid workers, (10 years!)buying power has fallen by 25 percent. Yet over that time our elected representatives have given themselves eight pay raises totaling more than 23 percent.”
“…..it's impossible to deny the national minimum wage of $5.15 is not enough for a family to live above the poverty line. The annual salary for workers earning the national minimum wage still leaves a family of three about $6,000 short of the poverty threshold. Raising the minimum wage to $7.50 would positively affect the lives of more than 8 million workers, including an estimated 760,000 single mothers and 1.8 million parents with children under 18. But even this 46 percent increase would get them only to the poverty line. Don't you think these families just might need that cost-of-living increase a bit more than our elected officials who are paid nearly $170,000 a year?" ~ Lou Dobbs

In 1951, a postage stamp cost 3 cents…now it’s 39 cents….
Minimum wage in 1955 was .75….now it’s $5.15 (federal guidelines…some states are different)
Should minimum wage keep pace with the cost of a stamp over 50 years?
The State of Washington has adopted it’s minimum wage to $7.63….Ohio is still at the federally endorsed $5.15.
Can YOU imagine not getting a pay raise in TEN YEARS??
Since economics is a common battleground, maybe we should give some thought to this topic.

Dream A Little Dream

I had the strangest dream last night.
In fact, most mornings I could start my day saying that same phrase.
Sometimes I’ll awaken in the middle of a great dream where I am about to win the prize behind door #1 when I wake up in frustration with NO prize! RATS!
I MUST return to slumber to see what I won!
Try as I might to rewind and press PLAY to continue this sleep-induced movie, the dream has been fractured and when I return to door #1, instead, I am in the living room and hitting my Pro Staff 4 golf ball with a sand wedge out of ash trays.

Last night’s cinema had me, the star of the movie, at a swimming pool and I was competing in the super-national diving championship.
I find myself alone, on the diving board, with thousands of people holding their breath to witness what perfect dive Peggy, the Diving Diva, will attempt.
I hear the announcer say, “Degree of difficulty ~10…this is a very dangerous dive and no one in the history of diving competition has ever successfully completed this plunge.” And then he adds in a lowered whisper, “but if anyone can do it, Peggy can.”

But I wonder if I can do it.

I breathe a silent prayer and begin my approach…I bounce perfectly on the 10 meter board high in the air with toes pointed, faultless form, whirling, twisting and spinning 8 times ~ the glassy surface welcoming me as I make my flawless entry into the water without a ripple.
I rise to the surface expecting the roar of the crowd and people jumping into the water to congratulate me as all 15 international judges score unanimous 10’s!

But NOOOO…I wake up to my pooch, Bailey, barking and pawing at me because he has to perform his morning constitution (usually with flawless "10's").

I wonder what other people dream about?
Does the Pope dream that the wine at Mass is really an extra dry martini?
Does Rosie still dream about Tom Cruise?
Does Brook Shields dream that Tom Cruise is a patient of Freud's?
Does Katy Holmes dream about Johnny Depp?
Does David Hasselhoff dream he has talent?
Do certain un-named politicians dream they have sense?
Does the FOX news team dream they are un-biased?
Does Jerry Springer really dream he could win Dancing with the Stars?
Does Oprah dream...hmmm...she has everything, what would she dream about?

I’m thinking that maybe I should rely on my conscious state to accomplish my goals.
But I still won’t give up on my dreams. I WILL write a best-seller.

A BEST SELLER

Ha Ha! See? I wrote it!! TADA! Don’t pinch me yet!

Alternative to Stupid Political Ads

Are you as fed up with these school yard verbal rock throwing political ads as I am?
Wow..I feel like these "kids" need a "time-out".
I haven't heard ONE ad that promotes what the political candidate wants to DO without throwing verbal attacks at their opponent.
Is everyone who is running for office THAT insecure about their OWN political position?

I can hear them saying "nanana boo boo" and "your Mama wears army boots" and "I know you are but what am I"?
just like 6 year olds. No, wait, most of the 6 year olds won't even stoop to the levels that these candidates are bending too. Speaking of bending...they all need a swift kick in the buttocks.

If they are going to act like idiots in their name-calling, why don't we just put them in a pasture and let them fight it out among dung like the barn-yard animals they are resembling.

I really wish I knew what some of these guys believed in other than "hating your neighbor"...it's giving us in this grand country the bully title that we are now trying to deny.

Sing Like No One is Listening

I love it when people totally let go of their inhibitions and let loose with "soul singing".
I mean like when someone is belting out a song like no one is listening. You know what I'm talkin' about....when you might be singing like you're auditioning for American Idol....in the shower....with no one within hearing distance within 44 miles.
You are actually a star for 5 minutes as you are singing "in the zone" and in the privacy of your basement, gyrating better than Elvis the Pelvis and Liza Minelli did in their day (or Taylor Hicks THOUGHT he could on A.I.).
~ Or ~ what can be better than singing loud and proud like a 10 year old who could care less who is listening or watching?
Life is heaven when you are crooning a romantic ballad carrassing your invisible hand-held microphone and emoting with curled lips, furrowed brow, the closed eyes and pained expression...and you have the audience in the palm of your hands....

Then....

someone sneaks up and snaps a picture....

you are flipped back to reality...

but it was a rush while it lasted.

gotta go..the baby needs her diaper changed.

DIE - T?

One of the ways I attempt to keep up-dated with current events is checking cnn.com twice daily. It gives me concise headlines for various topics that I can click on to explore details if I want them. Some of these areas of interest include, but are not limited to: Weather, Sports, Stocks, Religion, Politics, Law, Money, Entertainment, World News, etc.

Today under ENTERTAIMENT, it's brief headline stated: Sharon Osbourne has weight issues.
Now I KNOW that she is married to Ozzie, the crazy rocker-druggie-rat-head connoisseur...and that she had a failed talk show that lasted just 5 months ~ and that she was in the limelight for an even more ridiculous TV realty program, showcasing her dysfunctional family ~ but WHY would ANYONE care that she is worried about her weight?

Does CNN not know that over 2/3 of adult Americans are over-weight?
If you "google-search" the word DIET, Over 255 MILLION hits are registered!
Cook-books are the only type of book that can out-sell the Bible, for pity sake (and that IS a pity!)!

Maybe the SPORTS section should run a headline: "Mike Ditka has layrngitis"


or under POLITICS, the headline that would get my attention: "President Ford concerned about economy"

Under STOCKS, the head-turning headline could be: "Donald Trump worries over the Real Estate Market"

I know that there must be very few people in the Entertainment world who are concerned about their girth, right? Otherwise, this wouldn't be such a news item, would it?

Well, there is one redeeming fact for you all.
When I "google-searched" the word MONEY, it beat DIET by 2 BILLION hits.

Maybe I'll go back to getting my news from the National Enquirer. They have better pictures of stars without make-up.

Phone 911..there's a robbery!

There is a lovely couple living near Cincinnati, in Montgomery, Ohio who are rather, shall we say, "set in their ways"? They have owned the same yellow rotary phone hanging in their kitchen since Eisenhauer was in office. It is one step above Aunt Bee cranking the handle and asking Mable the operator for a connectin to Lloyd, the barber.
Finally, their daughter convinced them, after they had some issues with static on the line, to buy a new phone. Upon further review (can you tell by my phrasing that it's football season?) the facts show that they had been renting this phone that should be in some museum for kids to ask their parents what it is ~ for $21.95/month. Their dear old phone company has made a ton of money over the past umpteen years. (They didn't want to add up the lost money on rental as it might upset their tummies)

Coincidentally, I found this article on the internet...please make sure your loved ones are not in the same predicament!

Widow Rented Rotary Phone for 42 Years

A widow rented a rotary dial telephone for 42 years, paying what her family calculates as more than $14,000 for a now outdated phone.
Ester Strogen, 82, of Canton, first leased two black rotary phones — the kind whose round dial is moved manually with your finger — in the 1960s. Back then, the technology was new and owning telephones was unaffordable for most people.

Until two months ago, Strogen was still paying AT&T to use the phones — $29.10 a month.
New Jersey-based Lucent Technologies, a spinoff of AT&T that manages the residential leasing service, said customers were given the choice option to opt out of renting in 1985. The number of customers leasing phones dropped from 40 million nationwide to about 750,000 today, he said.
"We will continue to lease sets as long as there is a demand for them," Skalko said.

Strogen says she's not a big fan of her new push-button phone.
"I'd like to have my rotary back," she said. "I like that better."


SIGH....Now I'm wondering if she still has dial-up internet service?

Nice Ear, Babe ~ YUM!

"Iron Mike" Tyson is an interesting character, isn't he?
He "performed" in the boxing ring for over 20 years.
And he has made a fool of himself both in and out of the ring.
In fact, his life has been a 3 ring circus at times.
He has declared bankruptcy.
He admitted to beating his wife, Robin Givens.
He has done jail time ~ TWICE...once for rape and once for assault.
In jail he told the inmates, "I'm on zoloft so I won't kill anyone."
In 2000 he bragged that "I'm a violent person, almost an animal"

He has bitten an ear off of an opponent (Holyfield) in a boxing match in 1998 and wondered what the fuss was all about.
Then he bit another opponent, Lennox Lewis 3 years later.

But NOW...he announces (from STRONGSVILLE, OHIO) that he will be touring the country allowing people to box him in the ring for 4 rounds.
He will even consider boxing against women.
WOMEN? REALLY?
I was startled by that but why should I think that strange?
He doesn't now, nor did he ever in the past, seem to blink at punching out his
112 pound bride so why not put on the gloves against a stranger?
He gives being a "Bully" a new definition.

I think I would think twice about anyone sitting next to this guy in Church, not to mention in a ring that blesses beatings.

I sure hope all our kids see this and then they can grow up and be just like our sports heroes. You know, like the football players who enjoy breaking people's faces and injuring players during a nice little friendly game of "toss the pigskin".

I'm getting just a little cynical about sports lately...except Ping Pong, of course.

So I think I'm going to go practice my overhead SMASH!

Who Invented Ping Pong?

The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat have both been felt to my inner-most core by participating in the game of Ping Pong.
I started playing PP when I was about 10 years old. My parents felt the basement needed another game besides darts, maybe because my older 13 year old brother Dave, loved using the dart board and ME for some of his Magic Shows. He had seen the many magicicians on TV where someone tries to throw an ax or shoot arrows at a target with a woman standing in front of it. He enjoyed me re-enacting these trick substituting the dart board to simulate the other stunts.
Dave seemed mezmorized with magic and attempting any kind of tricks. He bribed me well over one hundred times to dress as his lovely assistant, Wanda, for neighborhood magic shows. I can't tell you how many coins got pulled from various orafices and how much water I had to drink from a fake water glass. At least he never tried to saw me in half...at least not in front of anyone.

Well, after neighbors complained, my folks thought that maybe a diversion was in order. So they purchased a ping pong table that saw a minimum of 4,578 games played on it for the next 20 years. My friends, my brother's friends, my parent's friends, people who we didn't even know would wonder down to the basement for a quick game.
We were the Ping Pong Palace and I was the reigning queen. By the time I was 17,no one could beat me, including my brother and Father. (well, maybe once in a great while)
Then my brother got married and had two sons. These two fellas got addicted early to the game..maybe when they were only 5 and 6 years old. They had experienced many years of smelling defeat up close and personal. There were numerous incidents of un-sportsman-like conduct....swearing...thrown paddles, scuffed up tables, split balls, injuries due to slamming into the concrete wall ~ and that was just ME.

Now I am fast-forwarding to the present. I am 55 years old and haven't played for at least 25 years. My nephews are just a little older than when I was in my prime. Maybe they can beat me a little now...
One nephew has a 33 year old wife who will remain nameless because after I trounced her 3 games in a row...she squeeked out a 26-24 win. (She enlisted the aid of her two children ~ ages 5 and 18 months, to distract me by throwing ping-pong balls, teddy bears, and I think a couple of gin & tonics on the table as I was trying to return her weak serve)

At the moment of defeat, I wailed my primal yell from the depths of my loins which I haven't had to do for many, many moons. Maybe some of you heard it about noon today?
Anyway..today I curse, albeit lightly, the people who invented that dreaded game.

I am thinking at this point, maybe being sawed in half is a better use of my time.

CHANGES

With the autumn change of weather, temperatures and colors, comes deep emotional reflection upon the changes in our own lives.

OK...maybe not.

But on occasion I DO think (for 2 minutes or less) that there are changes that I have NO control over, and some changes that I could initiate on my own.
Examples (you just KNEW I was going to go there, didn't you?):
EYESIGHT - When I was in my 20's I could see clearly that 1.68 inch golf ball 250 yards away (if it were My ball, it was usually on the green right next to the flag).
I could see a spider wink at me from 20 paces.
Now ~ I'm lucky to see the brand name "Titlist" on the golf ball as I squint at it sitting on my hand.
If a gorilla were standing 3 feet away from me, I might very well mistake him for our neighbor Sam.
HEARING ~ When I was younger, I could hear the grass grow..ok, maybe I could hear the mower.
Now, a cannon could go off in the hallway and I would think the dog passed a little gas. (by the way, these ARE just examples..we have no artillery in the house)

In my younger days (oooh, I promised myself that I would never say things that made ME wince when my PARENTS uttered them 50 years ago and now, look at me!), my skin was as tight as a sweater on Mariah Carey.
Now ~ my skin seems to move like Jerry Springer doing the cha cha on Dancing with the Stars.

Now there is not much that I can do about these changes in my body.
But I look at the things that I CAN change and wonder why I don't.
A widely used satirical definition on insanity is:
One who does the same action over and over and expects a different result.
That's me.

I still don't floss as much as I should and I get the same scolding every 12 years when I go to the dentist.
I still have small sip of diet coke now and then (well, not actually NOW...that is just a figure of speech) when I KNOW the studies tell us how bad carbonation and fake sugar is.
I still enjoy a martini on the rocks with a couple of olives followed by a keg of beer chaser on a rare celebratory occasion when I KNOW that kills a few brain cells.
I KNOW I don't pray enough giving thanks, but when I NEED something, I'm bending the ole knee like an Italian Grandmother at a funeral.
I can change these things in the future.
No need crying over spilled milk (I really didn't spill any milk...just another figure of speech).
But I can learn from some of the crazy things that I have done in the past that I wish I hadn't and try to change the impulse in the future.
Examples:
Curb my spending habits - buying 14 of the same hair ribbons because they are on sale ~ and I don't wear hair ribbons.
Stop the insanity of continuing to buy the weekly "reputables" that have miniscule value, other than I can sometimes keep up with the names of young celebrities and be able to engage in conversations with anyone under 35.
Keep on a budget. Maybe I should curb my support to just $5.00 for the neighborhood kids who come by regularly to offer a chance to assist their team in going to Figi for a soccer tournament. I feel like I should pay their entire plane fares. They all know I am a soft touch.
Improve my ping pong skills by practicing. I have come to believe that I can just WILL myself to do anything with professional skills rather than actually practicing.
This is immature thinking that can get me in trouble during tournament time.

Well, that is MORE than enough reflecting at this point.

I do know one change I will make in the future:
I will NOT approach a good looking 30 year old flag football coach named Joe to ask him if he is married. He said "NO" but quickly added with obvious fright on his face, "I AM seeing someone!" and he ran, not walked away.
This is before I could mumble, "I'm asking for my 26 year old friend, Jana, not me!"

I love Autumn.

What "Bugs" Me

The change of weather has prompted some of God's smallest critters to feel they have a "home" in MY house. So, I call one of God's bigger creatures to come "usher" them out.
I get very, uh,er..shall we say ~ WIMPISH when it comes to this kind of stuff? I'd rather have 10 teeth pulled than deal with 3 ants parading through the hallway with hoisted signs reading "we work for food". (Ok, never mind about the teeth thing.I was just using editorial license)

So in comes the guy with the uniform, the obligatory mask and his trusty 20 ounce can of Raid.
He disappears with a barely audible and supposedly comforting phrase, "I hope I can get 'em all"......
WHAT? He HOPES he can get them all?

That's why I pay for a $400/year contract...so at a moments notice, "Mr. Terminator" (can't use the company's REAL name for fear of law suits) can come in and save this damsel in distress.

He returns in 3 minutes and takes 30 minutes to explain to me stuff that I really don't want to know about concerning various species of bugs. Then he tries to "upgrade" my contract so he can use the REAL ushering techniques for both inside AND outside. (I presumed that I HAD the contract that would really get rid of anything unwanted ~ (including maybe guests overstaying their welcome)
Now I am getting a bit nauseous with his graphic description of what I MIGHT get into myhome over the winter months here in Ohio, so I attempt to divert his attention by asking him how busy he is that day. He tells me that the company's eight "technicians" are having to work extra hours to take up the slack of a fellow technician who left the company. He went on to (slip up) say how much he misses the departure of his fellow tech as the guy apparently taught him how to increase his sales.
(SALES? I thought he was a bug killer!)
Then he actually BEAMED (no kidding..there was light coming from his nostrils) as he told me he had $8,000 in sales last year but this year he had increased his accounts to $35,000 due to this recently departed "coach".

A question then BEAMED into MY mind:
So, is he:
A) a "technician" who has a stomach for exterminating little bugs?
B) a super-stud salesperson with a can of aerosal and a mask...or
C) is the mask a hint as to what he is really doing?

Oh, by the way, no need to send a sympathy card for my little "friends" ~ they are still here, only now they are demonstrating with bigger signs that say, "We have gas masks too HA, HA"

Anyone want to come over for dinner?

Whoops! Slip of the Tongue

WEEKENDS ARE FOR FUN & FRIVOLITY.....ENJOY!

Below is a compilation of actual student bloopers collected by teachers
from 8th through 12th grades.

1) Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The
climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live
elsewhere.

2) The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One
of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3) Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went
up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever
reached Canada.

4) Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5) The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth.

6) Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that
name.

7) Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8) Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made
king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

9) Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple
while standing on his son's head.

10) Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a
success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted
"hurrah."

11) It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was
the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure
because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis
Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

12) The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He
was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made
much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and
Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be
laid by Juliet.

Ah, hem...enough of these mis-guided regurgitations out of the "moths of babes"

Vote for your favorite..if it matches mine, you win a prize!

Making "Cents" of Grocery Store Pricing

I noticed that a 20 ounce bottle of any Coke product is $1.29 at the local grocery store. A 2 liter coke that is 67.6 ounces is $1.39.
Heck, the extra plastic surrounding the coke and the larger label has to cost a dime more, never mind the fluid within!
That is a HUGE difference!
Per ounce - the 2 liter costs is 2 cents/oz......
vs. bad boy 20 ounce bottle = 20 cents/oz.

I don't think an ounce is even a swallow. Wait. Let me try.
Whoops, I was wrong... it is. Not that I drink soda pop. It is bad for anyone. Especially the aspartame added. (see www.mercola.com and look up aspartame)
I was merely sacrificing myself for scientific purposes.

I love to compare per unit pricing in the stores.
Go to the toilet paper section. (excuse me..the "bathroom tissue" section)
When the package goes from 1 roll at 38 cetns per unit to 48 rolls at 4 cents/unit..you had better be paying attention.
I've experienced a "ON SALE" item that is 4 for $5.00. Then you see that you can buy ONE for $1.00!
And how many of us FALL for the old "2 for $1.00"? I only NED ONE..I only WANT ONE..yet I buy TWO because it will get me "a deal"! Of course when I go through the checkout line with ONE, it cost me 50 cents or 51 cents..so what is the big deal?
Well, I can always say, "well, I got it on sale" like my Mother said every single time she bought ANYTHING.
Tsk, tsk..those tricky, sneaky marketers.

Buyer beware.
Now if I could only figure out how to price my book. 1 for $12. 2 for $25.?

My Movie

I have been fortunate enough to have spent the last 4 days in a house 50 yards from the ocean. Since it is off-season here at Virginia Beach, there are only a handful of people who set footprints on MY PROPERTY. I have an un-obstructed view of God's water Universe. I haven't watched TV..and am RARELY checking email...my cell phone doesn't work out here so I am forced to think and relax....Kinda..

I am working on finishing my book that Sean is making me write.
Now my pubisher is tired of me dragging my heels and has given me deadlines. UGH!
I feel a wee bit of pressure like the kid hurridly finishing his essay on the way to school on the bus. However, looking out at the ocean is the most calming feeling I've had since I took a puff of my college roommate's "Cigarette" at least I THOUGHT it was a cigarette!...(I swear I didn't inhale..THAT much!)

Back to the ocean's calming influence.
Looking out at this "Movie"...the waves, the birds, the blue sky with the beautiful clouds...life stops for a short time..and then today...a special short film of dolphins entertained us for a full 30 minutes. I am close to heaven.

What book?
What pressures of life?

I am one lucky gal.

Oh, crap...my publisher just got through on my cell phone! I have 3 days to finish up. GULP. I wonder if I'll have to watch Survivor tomorrow? Anything to procrastinate...to heck with the ocean.

Everyone Has Their Hero

I suppose we all have someone (or someones) to whom we look to for advise..or inspiration. Some admire Carrot Top, David Hasaproblem, Bob Saget...but one of mine is Will Rogers. He had just good old-fashioned common sense and a huge love of mankind.




Wisdom of Will Rogers

* Don't squat with your spurs on.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody
else's dog around.

* After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

* Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

* There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

* When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised
if they learn their lesson.

* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in
your pocket.

* Never miss a good chance to shut up.

* There are three kinds of men:
The one that learns by reading;
the few who learn by observation;
the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

TWINKIES AND ROOT BEER

Since I am away at a secret hiding place attempting to get work done without interruption, I thought I would "cheat" a bit on blogging and pass along some interesting tidbits that have been so kindly forwarded to me.
If enough people would get on Annie's case to be a "Fill-in" blogger, you all would be in for MORE of a treat!

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man. The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons.

The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie.

The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at boy. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer.
Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man, and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?

"He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? God's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked," Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his son responded, he added," You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!

Games We Kids Play

My Thursdays are a treat for me. I get to pick up Griffin (almost 6 yrs old now) from his bus stop and have lunch with him. If I have time, we squeeze in a "mystery ride" that sometimes includes putt-putt, bowling, Chuckie-Cheese games, a boat ride or play-time at the park. Today it included coming back to the house to play ping pong. My first mistake was buying WAY too many ping pong balls. You know how they always get lost flying under a sofa or crinkled by a mad man who lost his serve for the 4th time in the net? With 24 balls, I figured it would take AT LEAST a week before we needed to stock up again. Silly me. There are two left after today. Griffin likes to play "Incoming!" pong missiles and pelt me with as many as he can. At one point we were both on the floor laughing so hard he told me he was going to laugh his "whole body off".

We escaped the "war zone" to go to our favorite ice cream hangout, THE CONE...I think we go there as much to play games as we do for the ice cream (ok, that is just the biggest lie I've ever told, but the games are fun).

So, there was PAC-MAN....I haven't played it for quite a while and Griffin "double-quadruple-dared" me so I put in my quarter and 20 seconds later I was done. I laughed a little nervous laugh that one does when being totally mortified and plunked in another coin. I lasted 12 seconds.
Griffin knows enough to at least TRY to stifle his hilarity. I give him a quarter and he zips and turns and makes mincemeat of his opponents and is King Pac-man, making it to the 3rd level before I could mumble "Nice game"...

It was a quiet ride home, except for a little 5 year old in the back seat singing a little rap song:

I'm the Pac-man
Pegger's the loser
I'm the Pac-man
Pegger's a goof ball

After 10 minutes of that lovely song, I changed the subject and
I told him I was going to write a children's book called "Griffin's Mystery Rides" ~ Mr. Griffin Spielberg has bigger ideas as he suggested we make it into a movie and Brittany Spears could play ME.
He hasn't named the star who would portray Griffin.

If he beats me at too many more games, his MYSTERY Rides will turn into MISERY Rides.

Today I Had Plastic Surgery

"Plastic, Plastic everywhere, nor any cash to have..."

Come on..I'm looking for a little credit here ~
I finally tore up (most) of my credit cards ~ Visa (3), MasterCard (4), Discover, American Express, Diners Club, Shell Oil, Sears, Target, Walmart, Home Depot, and McDonalds (whoops..that was a card for a free Sundae..rat puppies!)

I have been addicted to buying "things" on credit through catalogs, the internet and TV special offers. I bought a saddle the other day from an Infomerical that touted the benefits of this saddle so well that I ordered it with the "Special Ultra Fast" shipping option.

I don't own a horse ~ and don't even KNOW anyone who owns a horse.

I have a Storage closet that I can't even open the door to because of all the crap that I have purchased over the years that I've never used. I keep thinking that I will use it someday...or I'll have a need for a set of 12 old vinal records ~ Learn to Speak Russian in Just 6 Weeks.
Maybe a Russian neighbor will move in next door and I can ask to borrow a cup of sugar in their language ~ and they will love me forever.

So, I decided to quit cold turkey ~ without the assistance of any support group that wants me to stand up and say "Hi, my name is Peggy ("Hi, Peggy!"), and I'm a Credit Card Addict."

I would have been mortified if they used a credit card detector and found that I had an emergency card in my shoe. (or some OTHER more embarrassing place)
Hey! What I need to charge SOME things, you know.
The fifth set of steak knives that I found on sale are good Christmas gifts.

Holidays are the exception for CC Addicts. Thanks heavens this month it's Spoil Your Canine month. Maybe that saddle will fit Bailey?