Trapped Negative "Chi" -

I feel like maybe I have some trapped negative "chi" (Energy)...and it may be draining my energy and if MY energy is drained, everyone in the universe has drained energy! At least this is the latest theory from a movie called "What The Bleep Do I Know?"

I am thinking of just holing up in my basement and reading about various therapies and modalities that will turn my "chi" around to be positive so I can have a Calm and Happy life.

One of the first books I will read is about Feng Shui as it offers 168 ways to correct unlucky areas in my home and offers solutions to maximize the potential to bring success, happiness, harmony and peace to me. Hint #121 suggests putting a water bowl near the dividing wall or fence to absorb sound from noisy neighbors.
I see water bowls in dog boarding facilities but that is one of the noisiset places I've ever been..

Maybe prisons will buy this book. Or zoos?

I could try Reiki or Ayurveda but I can't pronounce them. I know one person who is a "reiki master" who is about as looney as Paula Abdul.

Maybe to find my happiness I should look to tai chi but all the pictures of people tai-chi-ing look like they are washing their cars in slow motion.
SO GO WASH A CAR..DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE, for heavens sake! NO wonder they don't look happy...their friends and family are boycotting hanging out with them because they never DO anything except contemplatte their naval!
And they are NEVER smiling (then again, who does when they wash an invisible vehicle?) I can't picture people who attend this class being the type to want to go see any of WIll Farrell's movies or stay up late to roll on the floor laughing at David Letterman's TOP TEN.

Lately I've heard about WATSU...a combination of massaging accupressure points in 96 degree water. A WATSU therapist holds you as you float in the water and they manipulate you and stretch you and massage you until you have no more money. The cost of this is $150/hour at spas. That may not be a therapy I want to try but I could be the therapist for that amount of dough!
Heck, that would sure release a lot of MY tension!

I think I'll just go read my horror-scope and see what it tells me I'm supposed to do today to be happy, become rish and famous, and find true love.

OR....I'll go wash my car...or meditate...anything but laugh, for pity sake!