Hugs 101

One of my favorite female motivational speakers is Rita Davenport, from Tennessee. She has good down-home humor and she "tells it like it is".
She tells people that "you need three hugs a day or you get weird."

She also tries to discourage people from being so self-centered by asking them to write on a piece of paper, their worst problem that they are dealing with..then she asks them to come up to the front of the room and everyone put their problem in a bowl. On the count of three, everyone is supposed to come back up and pick out of that bowl someone's else's problem. Who would do that? Everyone has their own "crap" to deal with.

Now, back to the hugs. Three hugs a day will help? Yup. But do we do it enough?

There are so many different types of hugs...
There is what I think is the most popular hug...if you can call it a "hug"...
It is really the "1/4 hug"... standing beside someone with one arm casually flopped around a shoulder as if to say, "OK, I kinda like you but hugging isn't my thing-hug"

One step better in the hugging chain is FACING the victim, er...PERSON and hugging with one limp arm around them but not enough energy to crank the other arm up there to join in the hugging.

Then there is the "grasping huggee with just your hands on their shoulders while barely leaning into them with your strained neck and head as if to say, "I REALLY don't want to hug you but SOME contact is expected..UGH."

Now we're getting to "whole hugs'...full embrace...BUT
1) the "quick release"....with a patronizing pat-pat-pat on the back..."we're just buddies, don't think we're dating-hug"
2) Full hug for 3 seconds....nice...I think this is good-hug
3) Full hug for 8 seconds...this can go either "Right on!..they like me..they really like me" or WHOOPS...I should have told them they had nice eyes.

Best hugs...a 13 year-old nephew, slamming himself against me to give me the "wrestlers squeeze" after not seeing me for 5 months...a 5 year old nephew who races to me from across the room to throw the little arms around me with unbridled enthusism to say good-night...and his little 1 year old brother lifting his tiny arms up to get picked up as he lays his perfect head on my chest.

I'd take three of those hugs any day. I have no problems right then.