Thursday, September 18, 2008

Hurricane IKE - Local Clean-up


The winds blew - trees snapped - roof tiles flew - but none of our family members were hurt. Thank you, God. A friend of Sean & Annie was injured as he was helping someone clean up their yard and he is likely to be paralyzed for life.

Time to count blessings and not missing roof tiles.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Closing Remarks


When I was a puppy and was lucky enough to travel down to Florida with my parents, the highways of today were just being built. We would drive along some of the "new" I-75 stretches for about 50 miles and then we would see the dreaded two words, "ROAD CLOSED". They became like swear words to us.
The funny thing is, when we got off the main road and drove at a slower pace, we actually saw more of the rural area and it wasn't so bad...other than not arriving an hour earlier than we would have.

Today is my last blog post ~ for a while, anyway.
I am getting off the road for a bit to take a look around at other stuff.
My current travel on this course isn't getting me to the destination that I need to be.

But I must say, it's been a kick!

Thursday, September 04, 2008

School is In Session and Kids Say the Darndest Things


Funny Test Answers From Children - Mainly Science and Health

* For a nosebleed: Put the nose much lower than the body until the heart stops.

* For asphyxiation: Apply artificial respiration until the patient is dead.

* For dog bite: put the dog away for several days. If he has not recovered, then kill it.

* For head cold: use an agonizer to spray the nose until it drops in your throat.

* We say the cause of perfume disappearing is evaporation. Evaporation gets blamed for a lot of things people forget to put the top on.

* If conditions are not favorable, bacteria go into a period of adolescence.

* Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration.

* To collect fumes of sulfur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.

* To remove dust from the eye, pull the eye down over the nose.

* Cyanide is so poisonous that one drop of it on a dogs tongue will kill the strongest man.

* Vegetative propagation is the process by which one individual manufactures another individual by accident.

* * "Germinate: To become a naturalized German."


* Algebraical symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.


* The inhabitants of Moscow are called Mosquitoes.

* Vacuums are nothings. We only mention them to let them know we know they're there.

* To most people solutions mean finding the answers. But to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up.


* When a singer sings, he stirs up the air and makes it hit any passing eardrums. But if he is good, he knows how to keep it from hurting.

Keep notes this year as to what your kids say...you could write a book! Have a great weekend! :)

Politics Confuses Me...Fact vs. S T R E T C H ?


I'm just trying to find the truth...and maybe the two conventions aren't exactly the place to find anything but pandering...from both sides. (this is a bi-partisan observance)
I was impressed with Governor Palin's speech..just like I was impressed with Sen. Obama's speech 4 years ago at the Democratic convention.
How can I find an unbiased fact-checker?
I don't know if it's this fellow who works for the Associated Press or if he is just out to confuse me more!

By JIM KUHNHENN, Associated Press Writer Wed Sep 3, 11:48 PM ET

ST. PAUL, Minn. - Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin and her Republican supporters held back little Wednesday as they issued dismissive attacks on Barack Obama and flattering praise on her credentials to be vice president. In some cases, the reproach and the praise stretched the truth.

Some examples:

PALIN: "I have protected the taxpayers by vetoing wasteful spending ... and championed reform to end the abuses of earmark spending by Congress. I told the Congress 'thanks but no thanks' for that Bridge to Nowhere."

THE FACTS: As mayor of Wasilla, Palin hired a lobbyist and traveled to Washington annually to support earmarks for the town totaling $27 million. In her two years as governor, Alaska has requested nearly $750 million in special federal spending, by far the largest per-capita request in the nation. While Palin notes she rejected plans to build a $398 million bridge from Ketchikan to an island with 50 residents and an airport, that opposition came only after the plan was ridiculed nationally as a "bridge to nowhere."

PALIN: "There is much to like and admire about our opponent. But listening to him speak, it's easy to forget that this is a man who has authored two memoirs but not a single major law or reform — not even in the state senate."

THE FACTS: Compared to McCain and his two decades in the Senate, Obama does have a more meager record. But he has worked with Republicans to pass legislation that expanded efforts to intercept illegal shipments of weapons of mass destruction and to help destroy conventional weapons stockpiles. The legislation became law last year. To demean that accomplishment would be to also demean the work of Republican Sen. Richard Lugar of Indiana, a respected foreign policy voice in the Senate. In Illinois, he was the leader on two big, contentious measures in Illinois: studying racial profiling by police and requiring recordings of interrogations in potential death penalty cases. He also successfully co-sponsored major ethics reform legislation.

PALIN: "The Democratic nominee for president supports plans to raise income taxes, raise payroll taxes, raise investment income taxes, raise the death tax, raise business taxes, and increase the tax burden on the American people by hundreds of billions of dollars."

THE FACTS: The Tax Policy Center, a think tank run jointly by the Brookings Institution and the Urban Institute, concluded that Obama's plan would increase after-tax income for middle-income taxpayers by about 5 percent by 2012, or nearly $2,200 annually. McCain's plan, which cuts taxes across all income levels, would raise after tax-income for middle-income taxpayers by 3 percent, the center concluded.

Obama would provide $80 billion in tax breaks, mainly for poor workers and the elderly, including tripling the Earned Income Tax Credit for minimum-wage workers and higher credits for larger families.

He also would raise income taxes, capital gains and dividend taxes on the wealthiest. He would raise payroll taxes on taxpayers with incomes above $250,000, and he would raise corporate taxes. Small businesses that make more than $250,000 a year would see taxes rise.

MCCAIN: "She's been governor of our largest state, in charge of 20 percent of America's energy supply ... She's responsible for 20 percent of the nation's energy supply. I'm entertained by the comparison and I hope we can keep making that comparison that running a political campaign is somehow comparable to being the executive of the largest state in America," he said in an interview with ABC News' Charles Gibson.

THE FACTS: McCain's phrasing exaggerates both claims. Palin is governor of a state that ranks second nationally in crude oil production, but she's no more "responsible" for that resource than President Bush was when he was governor of Texas, another oil-producing state. In fact, her primary power is the ability to tax oil, which she did in concert with the Alaska Legislature. And where Alaska is the largest state in America, McCain could as easily have called it the 47th largest state — by population.

MCCAIN: "She's the commander of the Alaska National Guard. ... She has been in charge, and she has had national security as one of her primary responsibilities," he said on ABC.

THE FACTS: While governors are in charge of their state guard units, that authority ends whenever those units are called to actual military service. When guard units are deployed to Iraq or Afghanistan, for example, they assume those duties under "federal status," which means they report to the Defense Department, not their governors. Alaska's national guard units have a total of about 4,200 personnel, among the smallest of state guard organizations.

FORMER ARKANSAS GOV. MIKE HUCKABEE: Palin "got more votes running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska than Joe Biden got running for president of the United States."

THE FACTS: A whopper. Palin got 616 votes in the 1996 mayor's election, and got 909 in her 1999 re-election race, for a total of 1,525. Biden dropped out of the race after the Iowa caucuses, but he still got 76,165 votes in 23 states and the District of Columbia where he was on the ballot during the 2008 presidential primaries.

FORMER MASSACHUSETTS GOV. MITT ROMNEY: "We need change, all right — change from a liberal Washington to a conservative Washington! We have a prescription for every American who wants change in Washington — throw out the big-government liberals, and elect John McCain and Sarah Palin."

THE FACTS: A Back-to-the-Future moment. George W. Bush, a conservative Republican, has been president for nearly eight years. And until last year, Republicans controlled Congress. Only since January 2007 have Democrats have been in charge of the House and Senate.

___

Associated Press Writer Jim Drinkard in Washington contributed to this report.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Traitor Joe


So, last night Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman sung an interesting song of praise for fellow old fart John McCain, while berating Senator Obama. He called Senator Obama a "young" untested Presidential candidate. I guess compared to McCain, ANYONE is young. Even young Joe Lieberman, at the tender age of 66 is a puppy compared to J.M.

I recently saw a t-shirt that said ~
"Average Life Expectancy of a male is 73.6 years
John McCain is 72 ~ You DO the Math"

A life insurance actuary would tell you that Mr. McCain's life expectancy is actually 83 years old since he has made it this far...but with his health history and stress factors, ??? Of course, he does relieve his stress by letting go of the ole temper now and then.

But I digress...

It seems ironic that Joe, the democrat, is coming out with guns blazing against his own party's candidate. I wonder how his constituents feel about that back in his home state...you know, the people who voted for him to represent them. But what seems doubly ironic (if that is possible) is that he called this 47 year old, Harvard magna cum laude Law school graduate, 8 year state senator, 3 and 1/2 year U.S. Senator "young" and untested.
And the possible (maybe PROBABLE) Republican Presidential candidate, albeit it as an understudy role, is 44 with a bio that includes her sinking the winning shot at the free throw line in a high school basketball game when she had a sprained ankle. Who puts that stuff in a bio? Maybe someone who is YOUNG and had LITTLE experience?
Oh, yeah, she graduated with a journalism degree too.
When you look at her policies, it just notes that she is pro-life and interested in energy conservation.
Well now, doesn't that about cover all the issues that a senator in Washington is exposed to also. NOT!
I do not care that she is a woman...or that she has a 17 year old daughter who is pregnant..or that she eloped at age 24 and gave birth 8 months later. That is for the silly media to hype. I care that she has no clue about anything beyond her PTA and backyard oil drilling.

Now, back to Uncle Joe....Here is what Senator Lieberman said about Mr. Obama in 2006:

“As far as I’m concerned [Barack Obama] is a ‘Baruch,’ which means a blessing. He is a blessing to the United States Senate, to America, and to our shared hopes for better, safer tomorrows for all our families. The gifts that God has given to Barack Obama are as enormous as his future is unlimited. As his mentor, as his colleague, as his friend, I look forward to helping him reach to the stars and realize not just the dreams he has for himself, but the dreams we all have for him and our blessed country.”

Interesting, eh?

Here Comes The Bride....Down a Strange Aisle


Ah, yes...the dream wedding.
Little girls have thought about that "big day" when they walk down the aisle toward her Prince Charming while the organ music announces her arrival and the guests ready their hankies to dab their eyes. Every minute detail of the perfect setting for this once in a lifetime day has been planned and re-planned.

As that little girl grows older, maybe the wedding day takes a little different turn in her mind. Maybe she won't wear a strapless gown but an off-the-shoulder dress. Maybe she will replace the organ music with a string quartet providing the mood for the walk down the aisle.
Maybe she'll get married in a cute little chapel in the woods...or on the beach at sunrise...or at the local zoo...or parachuting over the grand canyon...something really creative...

or

in a funeral home.

WHAT??? Are you nuts? Have you lost your last brain cell?!!??

Well, hold on to your veils, my friends...I just read (TRUE STORY) a news article about a couple in Michigan who decided to exchange their vows in a funeral home (since it is now football season, Ohio State fans are saying, "that figures...it had to be a MICHIGAN couple").

And why not?
It's just a big room with lots of chairs and one long funny looking elevated couch with a lid.
Flowers for the big day would more than likely be easily and cheaply acquired.
Parking should not be a problem.
Ice for the cocktails should be plentiful.

I don't know about this being the perfect venue for the start of what one hopes would be "the best day of my life".

I'm afraid that in the receiving line, some may be tempted to refer to the groom as one lucky stiff ~ or maybe inadvertently tell the bride that she looked "so peaceful"...

What ever happened to Church weddings?

Monday, September 01, 2008

T.V. Troubles


Give me back my black and white, three channel TV set with no remote and "rabbit ear" antennas that needed aluminum foil on the tips ~ with someone having to sit in just the right spot, holding a golf club in the air to acquire even a fuzzy reception.

WHY, you may query, do I want to step back in retro time?
Because I wouldn't have spent half of my life during these past 4 days on the phone with Time Warner Cable trying to get my High Definition, big screen, 328 channel TV to turn ON.

There was a total of 5 phone calls that added up to 2 hours & 14 minutes of blah, blah. We finally discovered that a Time Warner "technician" had cut our cable while attempting to accommodate our next-door neighbor with better reception. Now, our neighbors are enjoying crisp, clear television pictures and I have finished reading all 213 books that I have been meaning to get to ~ and am down to reading back issues of Readers Digest (from 1984 and 1992) along with a couple of issues that belong to my 3 year old great-nephew Cooper's Highlights Magazine for Children.

I think this may speak to my being way to dependent on the talking screen. Since I have the TV back in working order, I have been glued to the Weather Channel and i refuse to turn the set off for fear that it won't turn back on.

I just heard a woman weather reporter mention that one of her reporters playing outside while Hurricane Gustav is moving in is being "spanked" by the frisky winds.
Wow....I can't even enjoy a good weather report without it needing to be screened for language content.

Back to needing television of the old days ~ including when we didn't know if it was snowing on the football field or if it was our reception.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Olympic Articulation?




Some interesting comments made around the Olympic venues in China ~

1. Dressage commentator: 'This is really a lovely horse and I speak
from personal experience since I once mounted her mother.'


2. Paul Hamm, Gymnast: 'I owe a lot to my parents, especially my
mother and father.'


3. Boxing Analyst: 'Sure there have been injuries, and even some
deaths in boxing, but none of them really that serious.'

4. Softball announcer: 'If history repeats itself, I should think we
can expect the same thing again.'

5. Basketball analyst: 'He dribbles a lot and the opposition doesn't
like it. In fact you can see it all over their faces.'

Thursday, August 28, 2008

OK, Ok ~ I Admit That I Am Spoiled


Spoiled? Yes, I am. My name is Peggy and I am s-p-o-i-l-e-d. My Dad used to say "you're not spoiled..it's just your perfume"....get it? Spoiled as in food smelling bad?

I returned from a nice three day respite and one of the places that we stayed had a TV as big as a matchbook and no cable. That was OK...I was in the mood to relax with a good book anyway.
Upon my return I raced to the nearest TV (one of six in the house) and it looked at me
with a very blank expression. Well, not TOTALLY blank..it said "No signal". I called Time Warner Cable and after 42 minutes of the customer service rep having me unplug and plug and do everything but sing songs to the cable box, she told me it was broken. Yesterday was Wednesday and she told me a repairman could come out on Saturday. After much cajoling, she put me on the all-day list for today. I needed to be at home from 8 a.m. - 10 p.m. She promised that sometime in that 14 hour span of time, a cheery, knowledgeable technician would fix my cable problem.
Today I called at 12 noon and asked where I was on the list and the customer service person told me that I was booted off the list because it wasn't an "emergency".
I asked her what the deuce constituted "an emergency"~ a self-administered surgical procedure that the cast of ER was going to help guide me through?
(she never answered me)

Then I asked if anyone was going to call me to tell me that I didn't need to be a prisoner in my own home for another 10 hours and she said she didn't know who made those calls but she wasn't allowed to call out because she was too busy. I told her she was too busy answering MY PHONE call when she could have called me to prevent me being as irate as I am!

I then asked her another question...."Do you think that your department should be renamed?" (no answer)

"How about the NO CUSTOMER SERVICE department?" pause

"oh, I don't think so..that would make me look bad"

REALLY?!!????!!?

She told me that no one could help me until Tuesday now...whoops...she said "Oh, there was only one spot on Tuesday and I see by my computer screen that one is gone."

I said, "Please connect me to the cancellation department."

"Are you sure?", she cleverly responded.

"Oh, yes, 1000% sure and if I could afford someone to sky write "Time Warner Sucks" I would do it."

"OK, please hold."

The next guy on the phone (my new Super-Hero) listened patiently and said, "If I could get your cable fixed by tomorrow, will you stay with us?"

Yep...another 14 hour "window" of waiting for a cable "fix"...tomorrow...

We'll see...and I will keep my cable ~ until I can get another provider out to hook me up to DWTS.

I'm still stumped as to how my Super-Hero could get me on the books when there was no opening for 5 days?

I wonder how THAT happened?

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

The Case of The Missing Eyebrows


This is serious.
My favorite set of eyebrows are missing.
I swear they were here above my eyes just a few years ago and little by little, they are being kidnapped.
I just wish the perpetrators would contact me for the ransom amount. I'm not sure how much I would give to get my precious eye accessories back, but I would consider a third mortgage on the house.

I only discovered the missing pair when I saw a picture of me (kinda cute, I might add) from 10 years ago and I gasped at the clear dark "Murphy" brows looking back at me. Now it's not like I haven't noticed that I have had to sharpen my eyebrow pencil on a daily basis and that the color gray on top of my head has moved slowly south to just above my eyes.

I am on a mission to capture those bandits who not only have borrowed my eyebrows but have been stealing my youth for the past 20 years.

The hunt is on...this may be the one case that could stump Perry Mason, Sherlock Holmes, Matlock and the team at Boston Legal. IF the thieves are caught, I sure would appreciate ALL of my "Stuff" being returned...including my memory card for my brain, my ability to articulate better and find the words that I want to use, my 1972 golf swing and concentration, my agility to play volleyball like Misty May-Treanor (OK, I never was that good at volleyball but a girl can dream, can't she?)...oh, and also my...

darn! I forgot.

What were we talking about?

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Roughing It For a Few Days


For those who know me (even for just 3 minutes), you know that I am NOT a camper. I don't even like to LOOK at camper-type vehicles that I pass on the highway. Camping congers up images of mosquito bites, cold baked beans and the smell of the great outdoors (stale, unwashed clothes) that with one whiff, would send a bear searching for deodorant.

Well, a friend convinced me to go away for a few days to a "cabin". To me a "cabin" is one notch up from a tent, which is no notch up from sleeping on sticks, rocks and raccoon tails.

I don't know if we will have running water, a flushing toilet, a shower with a pulsating shower-head, a microwave or satellite TV and a DVR..I'm suspecting we will be missing some,if not ALL of these comforts of home.

Where I currently live, I have lovely woods in the backyard, complete with a bird feeder if I want to see nature. I have 4 bathrooms and 1200 square feet of "Chuckie-Cheese"-like games. People would probably spend a lot of money to get away from their cabin in the woods for what I am blessed with 360 days out of the year.

I will keep you posted as to my "outdoor adventure"...I PRAY that fishing isn't part of this "Survivor Burr Oak" torture-vacation.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Wow! This News Story is News Weary



I spotted the following article yesterday on Ocala.com when I was searching for information on the flooding in Florida. This news story wasn't exactly what I was looking for but...

From Ocala.com 8/21/08

OCALA –

“Ocala police say as John R. Herdmann rammed his sport utility vehicle into the front door of a convenience store and, once inside, stole two packs of Trojan condoms worth $2.99 each.

Herdmann, 37, of Ocala, was charged with commercial burglary and petit theft, according to a police report.

Shortly before 4 a.m. Thursday, a passerby called the Police Department and said he saw a man kick at the windows and doors of The Express Pantry and Deli, 15 S.W. 10th St., force his way in and exit a short time later.

The business owner was notified and met police officers at the store, where they watched surveillance video together. The video showed an SUV ramming the front door three times, before someone is seen getting out of the vehicle and entering the business.

While other officers were watching the video, Sgt. Johnnie Robinson found the suspect, later identified as Herdmann, hiding in the bushes at the intersection of Southwest Eighth Street and Southwest First Avenue.

Officers also found two packs of Trojan condoms on the ground.

Herdmann was arrested and taken to the Marion County Jail.”


Sigh....That guy was really hard up for those Trojans, eh?

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Tomato Surprise


Will someone tell me why I decided to plant not one, but THREE tomato plants in the back "garden" this year?
I now have a trio of ENORMOUS "Jack-in-the-tomato-stalk" trees that are producing Texas-size tomatoes that are bursting at their seams. All of them have had to be staked and they are still falling over from the weight of these big boys. We couldn't find a stake that was 22' tall.

I feel like I'm on the bus with Forest Gump, talking about the 59 ways to prepare tomatoes (instead of shrimp). Tomato soup, tomatoes on the salad or as broiled appetizer with sprinkled parmesan cheese, tomatoes stuffed with chicken shrimp or tuna, tomatoes on a sandwich, tomatoes in an omelet, tomatoes in chili, spaghetti and on a pizza.

This is crazy. I don't even like tomatoes THAT much. I usually take them off my salad when I am out because I figure they are not "home-grown".

I always wondered about neighbors who usually ever talked to us would stop by with charitable smiles and a sack of tomatoes as a gift for us. Mom would mumble, shaking her head as they were out of ear-shot, "they do this every year when they don't know what else to do with their tomato crop"....then really low under her breath she would add, "I wish they had a still in their backyard instead of those plants."

And what about the "EAT-TOMATOES-AND-DIE" scare this summer?
So what were we thinking?

Ah, maybe it was in the spirit of the Olympics...thinking there is some kind of contest. We would HAVE to medal in this sport.

And to think, I still don't know if a tomato is a fruit or veggie...and now I don't care.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Olympic Medal Coming My Way



These 2008 Summer Olympics have been so inspirational! I wish I were 8 years old again so I could choose a sport that I could compete in that would allow me to enjoy rubbing elbows with the greatest athletes in the world. It seems as though as the gold medal winners started training when they were still in the womb.

I saw a TV interview with the oldest woman competitor who was 53 and her sport was shooting a handgun. In four years I'll be 61 and don't EVER want to even touch a gun so that sport is out.

My niece-in-law, Anniebelle and I were saying that there MUST be a sport that we could train for and compete in during 2012 Olympics in London.
I decided I was a little "mature" for 99.9% of the events...Anniebelle has a much better chance a finding a sport that she could compete in since she is a fit 30-some-thing-year-old with previous gymnastic competition under her belt (she rarely wears a belt, so shall I say, "waistband"?).

Well, I THOUGHT that I had found the perfect sport ~ for me, anyway. Badmitton!
I saw 2 minutes of the womens singles and it looked like an old ladies sport to me.
I can remember when I was in my early 20's I bought a regulation badmitton set it up in my parents spacious and flat backyard. I meticulously measured where the lines should go and bought some kind of lime stuff to mark off the alleys (see? I KNOW the jargon! THAT should count for something!).

I'm trying to convince Anniebelle to be my womens doubles partner but I don't think she is taking this seriously.

I, on the other hand, am a woman on a mission. I have been researching the origin of the game (in case an interviewer asks me) and the correct terms and rules. (a lot like tennis only with a few exceptions (even though a player is supposed to win by 2, maximum score is 30-29 so no one gets worn out, I guess)

The other rather embarrassing fact that I found out is that I've been spelling "badmitton" incorrectly. The game is BadmiNton. Silly me. Sure glad I corrected THAT before the medal ceremony.

A disappointment is that it is a lot more expensive than I had anticipated. My thught was that I would get a badmiNton set from Wal-Mart for $20. and practice in Annie's yard with the kids...I was even thinking that a garage sale would be the perfect place to pick up the equipment.

Ha! The "competition" set includes ultra wonderful netting and stakes and two racquets and 4 birdies...er, I mean "shuttlecocks" (that term seems like if I say it, I need to go to confession). This professional set cost $230.00.
But alas, there is more...I need the correct lightweight, yet durable shoes and racquet bag t carry my 4 racquets (What? FOUR racquets?? I only have ONE hand to grip the sucker!)

The competitive racquets (I was erroneously spelling it "rackets" prior to my research) cost up to $600. Gulp.

Oh, and then I thought that I could just show up at some court in Cleveland for an Olympic audition...er, I mean "try-out". Oh, no...I have to enter and win some USBA sponsored tournaments and pay $200 entry fees just to hit a little birdie around before some "official" gives me my plane ticket and uniform for London!

Trying to find a badminton league around here just to ease into my training is more difficult than finding a Shakespeare play starring Carrot-top.

But I am not to be deterred. I am in need of sponsorship to help fund this endeavor and during my qualification process I will wear a badminton jersey that advertises whatever...probably denture cream at my age.

Any ideas?

Monday, August 18, 2008

The "Change" WIll Do You Good


I find that I have change in my pocket every day and I put it in a cup, which is the adult version of a piggy bank.

The next morning I put a few quarters in my pocket (in case I see my 7 ear old great nephew Griffin and he needs some "arcade change"). See, I don't carry a purse because I am "right-shouldered" and I have an old sports injury that refuses to mend well and I have never been able to wear a purse on my left shoulder. Got it?

OK...so the other day I realized that I had about $42.37 in change in three mugs. Shouldn't I have a goal to inspire me to enjoy throwing money into a mug every night? You can tell all the interviews with the Olympic athletes has inspired me to actually start thinking about goals again (ah, I feel another blog post coming on)...

So, I decided that I want to join an outdoor community swimming pool in our area and by next May 31 when it officially opens, I am going to stand in line with my a wheelbarrow full of 59 mugs of coins to turn in to enjoy a summer of splashing.

This is going to be fun...until I want to order that rare (weekly) pizza and have no money.

Check in with me in three months, around Christmas time, to see how I'm doing. I hope I don't have to give away one of my mugs as a present to someone who surprised me with a gift and I have nothing for them.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Olympic Trivia


Everyone seem to be enamored by Michael Phelps, the extraordinary swimmer who is breaking as many records as Jay Leno has automobiles.

Here is just an idea of what he has eaten for breakfast...
An excerpt from his book "Beneath The Surface"

"3 Sandwiches of fried eggs, lettuce, tomato, cheese, fried onions, and mayo. One omelete, a bowl of grits, 3 slices of french toast with powdered sugar, and wash that down with 3 chocolate chip pancakes."

Gulp...Swimming 5 hours a day may just assist a wee bit in helping him keep trim...
Just wait until retires and still has the enormous appetite. He can compete in Sumo wrestling later.

Here is some questions to see how well YOU do ~

1.What do the five rings of the Olympics mean?
A) Five Cities
B) Five Countries
C) Five Continents

2. What does the Olympic Motto "Citius, Altius, Fortius" mean?
A) Harder, Stronger, Faster
B) Swifter, Higher, Stronger
C) Better, Bigger Bolder

3. According to the Olympic Creed, the most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but...
A) to play fair
B) to win big
C) to take part

4. Where is the Olympic torch first lit?
A) Athens
B) Greece
C) Olympia

5. Women were first allowed to compete in the Olympics in what year?
A) 1800
B) 1900
C) 2000





Answers:
C
B
C
C
B

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Back to the Tomatoes


OK, now the three tomato plants in the backyard are 7 feet tall and we finally have one small tomato about as big as a golf ball on steroids.

The three plants came from three different kinds of seeds. Did you know that there are 4000 varieties of tomatoes? All of them are hybrids.
Since I am a gardener now, I act like I know what that term means. I suppose we should have given them plant food that was half gasoline and half electricity ~ but that would be silly.

The seed packets that we used for the three pots were called "Early Girl", "Big Boy" and "Better Boy". (I'm not kidding...look the names up yourself up! gardeners have a good sense of humor, I think)
I don't think that we should have positioned Early Girl inbetween the fellas because it seems that both Big Boy and Better boy are intimidated by the other and has become....er, shall we say, "Relaxed"? (Impotent, that is)

Who would know which one IS Better or Bigger since neither one wants to show his tomato! Maybe their vines aren't up to the challenge.

Now, Early Girl is putting out...various sizes, shapes and colors but none other than the wee one looks fit to eat.

It may be winter before we finally get enough tomatoes to put on one salad, never mind be one of those annoying neighbors who bring over 23 perfect tomatoes since their garden produced "soooo many more than they could possibly eat!"

Next year I'm growing dandelion wine.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

I'll Trade You


So, Brett Favre is trading in his green and yellow uniform for a New York Jets number on his back.

I've never understood professional sports when they trade a player to another team. From my limited understanding, the player is a commodity who has no input as to where or when he goes to work. There are horror stories reported about athletes who show up at their locker at work and it's been cleaned out with a note directing them to report to another team by noon the following day.

Can you imagine leaving home one day to go to the same job that you've had for 16 years where you have worked, traveled and spent personal time with the same 25 co-workers, only to find your desk empty except for the note saying "You are moving to... New York City...or no, maybe Colorado....or perhaps Miami." And there is a guy in your office hanging pictures in the place where you had yours.

You are going to do the same basic job (maybe) in this other city that you will call home....for a while, anyway.

Gulp.
One must have an understanding spouse,eh?
What to do with the house?
What do you say to the kids?
Where will you live?
What school should the kids go to?
What church, book club and bowling alley will be waiting for you?

I would be better if I knew that some of the management who decides on these "trades" were in the same position some time and got traded themselves.

I’ll stick to the security of living at one address and just watching these guys get dirty, broken and insecure on the playing fields.

I guess there are "pros" and cons to being a paid athlete.

Now maybe consider going to give your boss some sugar.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

Prize Tomato Plant


A few years ago, there was quite a contest between my Mom, my friend Susan and myself as to who could grow the strongest and most "productive" tomato plant.
One Sunday afternoon we all went out and bought our little tomato-ettes and planted them in three separate pots. For those of you who know me, even just a little, you realize that I am allergic to garndening. Look, I can't even spell it...

My hand starts to shake with the thought of getting dirt under my nails. Now I know that one can wear "gardening" gloves (whew, I spelled it correctly that time) but I don't like the feel of that material.

What the heck, this was a competition and I'm ALWAYS up for that!
So we all did our thing and Dad took pictures of us acting like the Martha Stewarts of tomato planters. See? I cannot even think of ONE person who is well-known for their gardening expertise. Pretty sad, eh?

The plants were all side by side on Mom's deck and Dad was responsible for watering my plant. He was given strict instructions NOT to sing to it.

Every Sunday if we weren't in town for the measurement of the week to see whose plant was thriving the best, we would have a telephone conference call.

As the weeks passed, Susan and I were both informed that tomatoes were at full bloom and it was time to name the winner of this hot-housely contested match.

We arrived with confident expectations and Dad ceremoniously marched us all out to the deck with our promise to close our eyes until he revealed the winner.

As he said, "Open your eyes", I gasped the three plants. There was Mom's in the middle and at first glance, it LOOKED to be the exact same size as both of ours...but it had at LEAST 29 ruby red ripe tomatoes adorning it like a tired Christmas Tree that was about to fall over from all the ornaments.

I quickly ascertained that Susan and my plants both had maybe 6 tomatoes in varying degrees of greeness and ripeness.

I was stunned at the depth of this defeat. How could it be? What plant food did she use? Maybe she resurrected the Jolly Green Giant?

Then I glanced at my Dad's twinkling eyes and slow grin...and Mom's sheepishly guilty look.

As I looked closer at Mom's Tomatoes on steroids, I noticed that ....
Yup...these were store-bought tomatoes that Dad had somehow rigged to look like they were the real thing.

I can't look at a tomato to this day without thinking of that moment.

Good one, Pop.

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Missing Person













Has anyone seen this woman?
She has been known to frequent Oxford, Ohio during the school year, posing as a caring elementary school teacher. She supposedly lives in Cincinnati but her friends in West Chester haven't seen her since God was a Child.

She has been rumored to be dating some hottie fella who actually is NOT a plumber.

Ah, the memories we hold of the good times when spent in the company of Jana Orwig. (really, that's her name)

OH, Jana, oh Jana, please come back to our fold
Our days are so empty, and we feel left out in the cold.
If you were to visit, we would celebrate in style
Letting you hog the karaoke mike, if only for a while.

Friendships are like spring flowers
they need tender loving care
If you don't call pretty quick,
you will be cursed with losing your hair.

Please, if anyone knows where our missing child is, we would love to see her.

Sunday, August 03, 2008

No Free Lunch


I understand the term that "the best things in life are free" ~
A newborn's smile (that might be gas) ~
A close parking place when you are in a hurry (and it's NOT a handicap space)~
A bobble head of your favorite ball player..if you are one of the first 400 kids paying $44./ticket to get into the venue.
A gentle, comforting pat on the shoulder when it's needed most.

And a FREE CAR WASH WITH ANY GAS PURCHASE ~ NO MINIMUM fill up at the local gas station.
I could literally spend 1 penny putting dripping in my tank and am allowed a free drive- through car wash..."look, Ma, no hands!"

I like to have a clean car. I will get my car washed at least once every two weeks and more often than not, once a week. So when I saw a Shell gas station just 4 miles down the road offering FREE CAR WASH...NO MINIMUM GAS PURCHASE, I almost wept with joy. With gas prices hovering around $4.00/gallon, it soothed the burn that scorched my pocketbook out $53.00 price for a fill-up. I started to calculate that if I put 10 gallons of gas in my tank, I could rationalize that it actually was 50 cents a gallon less since I could use the car wash that I would normally pay $5.00 for! I was almost laughing an evil laugh at people who were using the gas station across the street and not getting a car wash, even if they paid 20 cents less a gallon than I did.

And then it happened...the statement that will haunt me forever.

"There is no free lunch."
I drove by my "cleanliness is next to Godliness" station and it had CLOSED. No gas...no car wash...no cigarettes (even though I don't smoke)...

Sigh.

I guess I will have to look elsewhere for my freebies...

Friday, August 01, 2008

An Amusing Night


Last night I went to our local amusement park, Kings Island, with a friend.
Today I am taking out a second mortgage.

We had decided to go to our local "Disney-World-Wanna-Be" attraction since they had a $15.00 entry fee special if you arrived after 5 p.m.
Usually, the one day ticket price is $49.99 although no one actually pays that astronomical amount. There are discounts available from every grocery chain and if you check out their website, they have 7 different prices depending on how old you are, how tall (or short) you are, how much you weigh, when your birthday is and what your favorite color might be. One needs a masters degree in ticket-price-reading to
figure out the "best deal".

OK, so we get in line for parking and that is $10.00 unless you want to park within two miles, then it's $15.00. No shuttle service is provided from the parking lot to the entrance. I guess the management feels that visitors don't mind walking a warm-up mile or two before walking the 23 miles while inside the park.

We went to three free 30 minute shows. The first one was 16 kids (17-19 yrs old) singing and dancing to 1980's music. That must have been fun for them, since they were not even a gleam in the eyes of their parents. They tried their best but American Idol contestants don't need to be threatened by these performers.

While walking around we passed a tempting food shack that had no line so we decided to split one soft pretzel and one bottle of water. $8.65.

The second performance was an ice skating show with skaters between 20-30 and one 40 year old fella who smiled kinda funny at the girls. It was fairly good and nice to imagine ice not melting with the temperature outside hitting 93 degrees.

Now it was time to sample some Kings Island dinner fare while we waited for the next show, so we spent $25.28 for a sandwich and 2 adult beverages.

The final entertainment was called "Girls Night Out" and they weren't kidding. There were four 13-15 year olds "girls" who tried to shake it like they were at a country line dancing bordello while attempting to sing. It didn't work so very well and at times I felt embarrassed for them.

So, off we went to the arcade area to watch people spend $5.00 to throw a 15" basketball into a 15" hoop...time and time again. Guys actually walked away shaking their heads mumbling, "I make every one of those shots in my driveway!"
I kept wondering where people were printing out their $$ after the entrance fee, parking and food prices.

We went on one ride through a haunted house and while we were in line, there was a couple with two children and as we waited, we found out they were dating. They had driven from 3 hours away to spend TWO days from 10 a.m. to 9 p.m. "in amusement park hell" as the girlfriend admitted. I could tell she was hot, tired, inpatient with the kids hanging on her after two days of "torture". Now her boyfriend thought that this was the best vacation-date he could provide for them and he was going to squeeze every minute of fun out of his alloted budget.

I'm guessing next week his girlfriend may not return his calls.

My friend, Susan looks quite a bit younger than her 57 years. So when I saw a hawker bragging how he could guess her age for $5.00 or she could have her pick of the 9,358 stuffed animals, I spent the money to "stake that bet". He guessed that she was 45.
The stuffed dog that Susan won is called "Priceless"

All in all, we spent $82.00 for a very entertaining 4 and 1/2 hours.

And I would do it again in a heartbeat.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

The Times They Are a-Changin'


Last night we hosted a pot luck dinner for 11 neighbors who ALL have a pension for chattering (and at times, somewhat loudly). You people reading this post in the state of Washington might have heard some of the conversation.

Most people brought some kind of food or drink to be enjoyed by all. There were TWO delicious salads, two kinds of chicken, a potato casserole, tasty green beans, buttery crescent rolls, a delectable veggie tray, an appetizer that propelled one woman to lick the plate...topped off by scrumptious water melon slices and two desserts that had all of us promising to "up" the exercise program this week.

I had just ONE observation. Not one person brought something in a POT. I guess the term "pot luck" is an older reference to when people brought pots of salad?

Anyway, I will be thinking of an updated term for this gathering because it was so fun, I want to have another one soon.

Maybe we all bring our favorite pizza and it can be called a "Pizza Luck"?

(it would be easier on the hostess when cleaning up...but I'm not complaining!)

Monday, July 28, 2008

The Best Last Lecture



Randy Pausch died last week at the age of 47. He leaves behind his wife and three young children ~ and an inspirational lecture that could change your life.

He is best known as the Carnegie Mellon University professor who was dying of pancreatic cancer and delivered a "last lecture" to his students. Now this lecture has lead to the publishing of his book.

Pausch told USA TODAY during an interview at his home in March that the now-famous lecture was never meant for public consumption, nor was it for his colleagues or students. It was for his two sons and daughter: Dylan, 6, Logan, 3, and Chloe, 2. "If people are finding inspiration, OK, but the book is for my kids," Pausch said.

"I knew what I was doing that day," he wrote in the introduction of his best-selling book, also titled The Last Lecture. "Under the ruse of giving an academic lecture, I was trying to put myself in a bottle that would one day wash up on the beach for my children."

WOW.

He made a comment that he knew that he was dying and that his family would have to deal with a huge "fall" and he would not be there to catch them...but at least he could spend his last days sewing a net for them.

ABC is dedicating an hour tomorrow, Tuesday, July 29, at 10 p.m. to his story. Set your VCR's DVR's or tune in...it might just be worth your time to see how he spent HIS.

Friday, July 25, 2008

15 Years of Joy



It's Bailey's 15th birthday!

This little fella has given me companionship, unconditional love, gut-busting laughter and many lessons about patience and care-giving.

He was so trainable that he was house-broken in 3 days.

We used to call him a government employee as he shred everything in sight for a few months.

He has given us a few worries in that he has had two ACL surgeries on his back knees (flag canine football, going out for a pass) and one operation for kidney stones but he has all his teeth.

Although is official name is Sir Bailey Brute, he has many nicknames including Buster Brown, Scooter (never mind WHY), Bruster and Henry (I made up that last one).

I know people say, "he is just a dog....blah, blah.."

But remember, D O G spelled backwards is __ ___ ___.


Maybe too much kibbles and bones in anticipation of a big celebration?

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Swimming Among Friends



I have always enjoyed swimming...maybe it started with Dad's little swimmers that raced to meet their egg of choice to produce this zygote.
I digress...a lot.

Anyway, every summer the local swimming pool was our hang-out of choice and to quote a great song, "those WERE the days, my friend, I thought they's never end, we'd swim and dive forever and a day" (author's editorial rights imposed there).
Later, 50 years later, I still enjoy the a little splash at the local swimming hole.
Yesterday I saw a youngster aka "whipper-snapper", sneeze 8 times right into the water. I don't know why that bothered me so much as the water color was not what one could call "crystal clear". In fact, the more I stared at this murky water, the more nervous I got.

I didn't look at the swimming pool as a leisure activity anymore. I saw a giant bathtub with 78 dirty, sweaty people who had not showered for 4 days but who had lathered and sprayed 10 ounces of sun block cream, lotion and oil on their gritty bodies shedding all of the above in my former recreation haven.
Then I thought of my little Sneezy, cavorting with his pals, Oozy and Tinkler and I hopped out of that pool faster than most 57 year olds can drive a car.

When I go home, in record speed, I might add, I took a 45 minute shower and started researching the health concerns of swimming pool usage.
I guess there are a few little ailments one can acquire by enjoying swimming underwater. It's not a HUGE concern if you trust the other 150 people who are swimming with you that particular day...I'm sure everyone is healthy, with no open sores, no using the pool as a toilet and no leaking diaper-swimmies. Oh, and no post-menapausal women who when they sneeze, they cry...from various orafices.
When I was reading the medical terminology for what pools can offer, I ran across this quote:

"Other non enteric pathogens that may be found in swimmming pools and spas are legionella,pseudomonas aeruginosa, mycobacterium, staphylococcus aureus, leptospira interrogans, molluscipoxvirus, human papilloma virus, acanthamoeba,trichophyton and epidermophyton floccosum, that usually produce dermic or respiratory infections."

I knew I missed playing golf for a reason. I only had an occasional bee sting or poison ivy episode...oh, yeah, and a trip to the hospital when Dad shanked a 3 iron to my temple.

Hmmm...Maybe I'll jsut read a good book. I hope I don't get a paper cut turning the pages.

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Movie Theaters Can Be Dangerous


I LOVE going to the movies.
I even enjoy giving my ticket to the ticket-taker even when she can barely gesture toward my theater as she mumbles, "number 5"...
I LOVE the smell of popcorn and the previews of coming attractions.
I LOVE watching the different ways movies introduce themselves at the beginning.
I even LOVE watching the credit and seeing who the gaffer and gaffer assistant are.

Today at 10:15 a.m. I watched "MAMA MIA" starring Meryl Streep, Christina Baranski, Julie Walters, Colin Firth and Pierce Brosnin.
It was 1 hour and 43 minutes of toe tapping, face grinning and shoulder shimming fun. Maybe one has to be in the shadow of age 45 to really enjoy this but to see 59 year old Meryl Streep have as much fun as she had, all the while, dancing with unbridled enthusiasm like she was 14, was absolutely delicious!
I saw a review that panned Pierce Brosnan but I didn't care that he couldn't sing.

The only thing I DON'T LOVE about movie theaters is that they don't have a bona fide dance floor. I've managed to turn an ankle, pull a muscle and break more than a sweat as I danced in my seat to the music of ABBA. I must have thought that I could keep up with the trained dancers in the movie, all the while making a perfect fool of myself in my seat.

When I saw the show, HAIRSPRAY, my chiropractor was able to install a new swimming pool from the fees I "racked" up.

I guess this is the reason that I am such a valued subscriber to NETFLIX. My basement video screening room has a padded floor and a medicine cabinet close by.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Picture is Worth .....


When you see a picture of you in a group photo, whom do you look at first? Of course, you will gaze at your own image 50x longer than Aunt Ginny in her Dr. Scholl's. You will be critical of your crooked smile, teeth and stance. You will say, "I look fat" or "I sure had a bad hair day" and finally move on to the next picture, after quick, obligatory nice comments about the others in the photo.

When seeing pics of other people's family members, we feign interest and act like these photographic gems should be sent to some contest and you go on to guarantee them top honors, all the while yawning to yourself.

Baby pictures are THE WORST. I don't think I have EVER seen a cute baby picture taken before the age of 5 years old. Ok, I am exaggerating a bit. But seriously, (this is where I get really deep so pay attention)...other than YOUR family members, have you seen a beautiful baby photo when the kid is less than a month old? It is usually NOT smiling...has wrinkles on top of wrinkles, look terribly uncomfortable in the new baby suit it is stuffed in with the smiling teddy bear on it's chest..and has a skull cap usually to hide the forsip prong marks from the recent delivery.

Now, we have celebrities having babies by the truckload lately. And Bradgelina are selling the the pictures of their new twins for over $20 million dollars. I have one question.
WHY? Oh, in THEIR case, the proceeds will go to fund either botox injections for someone's lips or to adopting 1,568 more children from foreign lands. But for other celebrities, who cares what their kid looks like?
Would I, after seeing their mug-ette on the cover of a "reputable" tabloid, be able to recognize them if they strolled by me in the park?
Am I going to cut the photo out and frame it for my office wall?
Will I even BUY the rag that it is printed on or will I merely show it to the cashier and mumble something about the outrageous amount of money we spend on stupid stuff?

OK, I have huffed & puffed enough about this subject. You can tell that I will be boycotting the sale of such trivia.

Do NOT, however, expect me to hand over my back issues of People's Top 50 Bachelors. Now THAT is worthy of press ink.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Stuart Little Live Here


Sure, some people in the entertainment industry have cartoonized mice as cute, creative and even cuddly and super-hero-ish.
Yes, I am a Disney fan and LOVE Mickey Mouse.
Of course I grew up with Mighty Mouse defending the weak and saving mankind.
Stuart Little broke my heart when he was forced to leave his adopted human family.
Tom & Jerry played so well together that they are primo examples for youngin' to model their behavior after....
And the movie, Willard....
Ah HA!, NOW we are getting somewhere! When I think of mice, I think of THAT movie, not the Magical Kingdom and "It's a Small World After-all".

We just had a “Critter-gitter” here after our outside painters found a 5” square hole in the wood siding where mice have enjoyed a red-carpet entrance to our abode.
Our local exterminating, hero, “Killer” found mouse droppings all over the attic (crawl space) and in the two basement storage rooms so these little “Mickey and Minni’s” are having a “field day” here. Killer wonders why I haven’t heard the little darlings since he figures there are a hoarde of them.

Apparently these mini-rodents have become so "at home" here that Killer ran across a miniature sign that read "There's No Place Like Home" and some tiny dandelions in a little vase. He also discovered an old fondue set that still had cheese drippings on the side. They have also commandeered a small TV set tuned to Animal Planet...
sigh.

Unfortunately, they haven't paid their share of the mortgage and cable bills so they are being evicted in the cruelest way imaginable.
33 bags of poison have been placed just about everywhere and this is high quality cuisine...$218 !! (I hope I don’t mistake my breakfast cereal for these “eternal slumber treats”)
UGH...

I may have to find other accommodations until the little fellas croak.

I subscribe to the NETFLIX service and my next movie selection just arrived. I haven't checked my list for a while so when I look inside the envelope, it's kind of like Christmas.
Not so much, today.
The movie, Ratatouille is being "returned to sender"

Monday, July 14, 2008

Here''s a Tip


Tipping points:

Should tipping at restaurants be a flat 15% all the time if the server did a decent job?

Shouldn't a customer count the number of times a service person comes to the table?

Why should I pay MORE tip on a $20. item that is on ONE plate as my dining partner who ordered a $7.00 salad? The service was the same.

I recently went to a top quality dining establishment and the waiter visited us 8 times. Three of those times was to bother us...er...I mean, CHECK on us to see if "everything was all right".

Then the other day I went to a breakfast restaurant and the waitress visited our table 5 times....we spent about 15 mintues less time there but the tip was $2.00 instead of $20.

Heck, the busboy at the foo-foo place came by 3 times. Should I have tipped him?

I'm just ruminating about these things because it's Monday and I don't feel like thinking about anything deep.

Check my DEEP Wednesday post. It's bound to be thought-provoking...this one is just a meander.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Expensive Toilet Paper



NEWS STORY ~
CLAYTON, Mo. — A jailer made a surprise "find" in the bathroom of the St. Louis County facility's intake center.

The correctional officer found $55,000 stuffed behind a toilet paper dispenser at the St. Louis County Justice Center in downtown Clayton last week.

Police Chief Thomas Byrne says the bundle of money was in $100 and $50 bills.

None of the inmates who were interviewed knew anything about it.

Byrne said the money has been placed in a special bank account until the rightful owner is determined.
_____________________________________________________________________________

Note: I suppose the officer who found the money may be able to claim it after a certain time period has expired. Can you imagine the celebration, complete with toasts and remarks that would accompany the reason for his "windfall"?

"Bottoms up"!
"Holy Crap"!
"It pays to be a "regular guy".
"Were you always good at hide and seek"?

Ok, sorry for the puns...it's Friday, gimme a break. I'm already in weekend mode.

Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Out-witting the Family Pooch


My little sweet yorkie-poo, Bailey, has been feeling puny lately. I took him to the Veterinarian last week and he gently poked, prodded and added ordered some x-rays to the tune of $210. (I never understood why the term "to the tune of" is used when I was hearing NO MUSIC at this point in time)

With the invoice came the diagnosis. Bailey is 14 years old and is getting O L D.
I then was given back my dog, his leash and a bottle of wonder pills that promised to find the canine fountain of youth.

Have you ever tried to give a dog a pill that is big as my shoe?
Of course, over the years, Bailey has had an ailment or two and three surgeries so I've had the pleasure of administering medicine to him before. I don't mind liquid prescriptions because I can take a syringe and sneak it in the corner of his mouth. But the pills are more of a challenge.

Yes, I have tried to give him the pill with peanut butter, cheese, salami and ice cream. He manages to eat everything but the pill. One person suggested that I freeze the pill because then the pooch can't smell it as well. Since then I have read that a dog's olfactory senses are 100 times as sensitive as us humans. (I feel sorry for any dog around my Uncle Herbert after he has enjoyed his 5th chili dog)
I have used the "crush the sucker" method and hid th Rx in his favorite food. He takes one whiff and walks away with his paws folded across his chest. Sit down strike time.
Then there is the "jam it down his throat" protocol. Yeah, right. Bailey can move his head and dodge and duck better than the greatest boxer of all time. I can't land a pill any where close to the mouth, although I've had some luck sticking it in his nose.

I have even gone to great lengths to trick Bailey into believing the freshly cooked chicken wing only has ranch dressing on it...and then I make lip-smacking sounds that would make Rachel Ray seem like a quiet librarian.
It is so sad to see a grown 50-something year old woman do an imitation of a super-bowl celebration dance just because she managed to out-wit a 13 pound dog by finally getting it to swallow a grain-of-sand-size pill.

But I feel so accomplished when I finally get the job done...until I sweep the kitchen and find a little pink pill in the corner of the room...or look at Bailey's sweet face and see the intended cure-all stuck under his chin in his beard.

I think I'll stick to giving him a teaspoon of Irish whiskey on Saturday night.

Sunday, July 06, 2008

Vacations NOT That Enjoyable


Grandma Ellen & Griffin
______________________________________________________
I LOVE to go on vacations.
I LOVE pouring over the brochures and information about the intended target of my relaxation.
I LOVE "getting away from it all"
I LOVE sending postcards that say "Having a wonderful time, tough luck you're not here"
I LOVE planning what I'm going to do when I get there ... or
I LOVE Brian planning it for me if he goes.

I DO NOT enjoy other people going away, however. I mean, I am not jealous of their excursion ~ I am thrilled that they get to experience different stuff, yada, yada.
BUT, I don't like them being AWAY from me so that at my beck and call I can request a command appearance and oila! There they are to go to the pool with me, go try to beat me at miniature golf or ping pong...or try to convince me that I will participate in a C R A F T (which I won't but the discussion about it is fun).

Great nephew Griffin is going on a trip that sounds like way too much fun with his Grandma Ellen and his Uncle Scott.

I seriously considered booking a room at the same country Inn in Pennsylvania where they are staying but I thought it was just a bit "over the top"...besides, the costume shops are closed for the Holiday and I'm short on disguises.

They are going to go bike riding, maybe water rafting and possibly golfing (ouch! THAT one really hurt!)...not to mention experiencing gales of chuckles, grins and laughter.

So, they haven't left yet and I have printed off a dozen of my favorite photos of the little guy.
Have fun, Grif...but not TOO much, ok? And pay no attention to that pretty gray haired lady with the funnny mustache hiding behind the oak tree on #5 hole on the golf course.

Friday, July 04, 2008

4th of July Contests



Happy 4th of July!
Celebrate your independance...

BUT

Why have hot dog eating contests?
Stick with the three-legged races and the race with the spoon holding an egg.

Please set these little dogs free.

Tuesday, July 01, 2008

Mona Lisa ~ A Happy Gal



I found this interesting article and thought today should be SHARE day...and find what makes you happy!

Mona Lisa Was 83 Percent Happy
By Toby Sterling, Associated Press

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands (AP) —The mysterious half-smile that has intrigued viewers of the Mona Lisa for centuries isn't really that difficult to interpret, Dutch researchers said Thursday.

She was smiling because she was happy ~ 83 percent happy, to be exact, according to scientists from the University of Amsterdam.

In what they viewed as a fun demonstration of technology rather than a serious experiment, the researchers scanned a reproduction of Leonardo da Vinci's masterpiece and subjected it to cutting-edge "emotion recognition'' software, developed in collaboration with the University of Illinois.

The result showed the painting's famous subject was 83 percent happy, 9 percent disgusted, 6 percent fearful and 2 percent angry. She was less than 1 percent neutral, and not at all surprised.

Leonardo began work on the painting in 1503, and it now hangs in the Louvre in Paris.

The work, also known as "La Gioconda" is believed to have portrayed the wife of Francesco del Giocondo. The title is a play on her husband's name, and also means "the jolly lady'' in Italian.

Harro Stokman, a professor at the University of Amsterdam involved in the experiment, said the researchers knew the results would be unscientific —the software isn't designed to register subtle emotions. So it couldn't detect the hint of sexual suggestion or disdain many have read into Mona Lisa's eyes.

In addition, the technology is designed for use with modern digital films and images, and subjects first need to be scanned in a neutral emotionless state to accurately detect their current emotion.

Lead researcher Nicu Sebe took the challenge as seriously as he could, using the faces of 10 women of Mediterranean ancestry to create a composite image of a neutral expression. He then compared that to the face in the painting, scoring it on the basis of six emotions: happiness, surprise, anger, disgust, fear and sadness.

"Basically, it's like casting a spider web over the face to break it down into tiny segments,'' Stokman said. "Then you look for minute differences in the flare of the nostril or depth of the wrinkles around the eyes.''

Stokman said with a reading of 83 percent, it's clear happiness was the woman's main emotion.

Biometrics experts not involved with the experiment said the results were interesting even if they aren't the last word on the Mona Lisa.

"Facial recognition technology is advancing rapidly, but emotional recognition is really still in its infancy,'' said Larry Hornak, director of the Center for Identification Technology Research at West Virginia University.

"It sounds like they did try to use a data set, even if it was small, and that's typical of work in an area like this that's relatively new. It's an interesting result,'' he said.

Stokman said he knew the University of Amsterdam effort won't prove or disprove controversial theories about the painting. One is that it was actually a self-portrait of Leonardo himself as a woman.

"But who knows, in 30, 40, 50 years, maybe they'll be able to tell what was on her mind,'' Stokman said.

Monday, June 30, 2008

What Color T-Shirt Did Jesus Wear?


There are people who study how different colors affect us ~ Chromotherapy and Colorology are two of many resources for this subject.

A friend of mine and his wife used to always wear black clothes ~ t-shirts mostly with jeans. When I first went to their house to see their newborn, I noticed that it was a sunny day and they had the blinds drawn and it was so dark in the living room, I thought that a seance was about to begin.

Both of them were nice people but they always had a lot of "challenges" and the glass was near close to being even 1/10th full. Actually, in their case, they would complain that ALL their glasses leaked and that they tried to return the set of glasses that they got for a wedding present but the store refused.
They portrayed themselves as victims at every turn.
The wife lost her job because of outrageous circumstances.
The husband was going to school and all his classes were a "waste of time".

Now I don't know why people are attracted to wearing the colors (or lack of color) that they do, but I do know that there are certain stereotype impressions that we get at first glance at someone who walks into a room, based just on the color they wear.

If you observed a woman wearing bright "island" type colors, is there a pre-disposition to thinking that she might be an extrovert? That she might be fun and able to easily laugh at your corny jokes?

And if a woman came in dressed in all black with a tattoo on both arms, you might come on another conclusion without speaking a word to her.

On a color therapy website, the following conclusions are evident:
Mood dressers are people who are in-tune with their emotions and dress accordingly. Do you feel pink today? Or, do you feel blue?
1. Wearing Blue - Serenity and Calm

* Creating a Serene Sacred Space
* Ways to Calm an Anxious Spirit


2. Wearing Gray or Black - Invisibility and Blending In
Wearing grays and blacks can be depressive.

Let's face it, black and gray are fashion basics. We all have the basic black suit or black dress slacks that are a must wear for a number of different social settings. Wearing black will allow you to keep a low-profile in social settings if that is your intention. Don't wear black if you want to stand out amidst a crowd. Most folks don't even bother to wear black at funerals anymore, it's just too sad to wear dreary and dark colors.


3. Wearing Green - Nurturing and Earthy

Green is considered to be one of the most healing among all the colors.

Because green is the color of trees and grasses it is a wonderful color choice to wear anytime you are wanting to feel more in-tune with nature. Green represents the Spring season and new growth.

4. Wearing Orange - Energetic and Creative
Orange urges you to get out into the world and create something grand! (author's note: some orange jackets worn by a nephew of mine is certainly an exception to this rule)

Orange is a very high energy color. Its creativity juices are extremely intoxicating and sweet tasting. Wearing orange is fun and can make you feel quite playful.

5. Wearing Pink - Open Heart
Wearing pink conveys compassion and an open heart.


6. Wearing Purple - Unique and Special
Wearing purple shows others that you want to be noticed.


7. Wearing Red - Powerful and Confident

Red can really pack a punch when needed. Ask any politician. Red is the favorite color of ties.


8. Wearing White - Fresh Outlook - New Beginnings
Wearing white will help reduce any nagging feelings of disappointment or drudge.

White represents cleansing and new beginnings.


9. Wearing Yellow - Cheerful and Happy
Yellow is the perfect color to wear whenever your spirits needs an uplift.

Yellow carries the same healing qualities associated with the sun. It offers warmth, optimism, and light. All shades of yellows and golds will cheer you up and help make you feel happier.
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Now I am just a little curious as to why Jesus was usually depicted by artists as wearing white. Probably because of the climate where he was teaching, healing and changing water into wine.

But I'm thinking it might be that He read about color therapy.

Just a thought.