Missing Person

Has anyone seen this woman?
She has been known to frequent Oxford, Ohio during the school year, posing as a caring elementary school teacher. She supposedly lives in Cincinnati but her friends in West Chester haven't seen her since God was a Child.

She has been rumored to be dating some hottie fella who actually is NOT a plumber.

Ah, the memories we hold of the good times when spent in the company of Jana Orwig. (really, that's her name)

OH, Jana, oh Jana, please come back to our fold
Our days are so empty, and we feel left out in the cold.
If you were to visit, we would celebrate in style
Letting you hog the karaoke mike, if only for a while.

Friendships are like spring flowers
they need tender loving care
If you don't call pretty quick,
you will be cursed with losing your hair.

Please, if anyone knows where our missing child is, we would love to see her.