The Men in My Life

I am blessed with great guys as relatives in my life. This is a pretty tough act to follow given my Dad and Brother were the absolute finest men in the world. But Dave had a couple of sons who followed in both their Father's and Grandpa's big footsteps...they are handsome, witty, generous and humorous and they both ATTEMPT to beat me at golf and ping pong. They also both were clever enough to find a spouse who is the absolute best partner for each of them!

But probably the finest contribution they have given us are their children.
Griffin, 6, adores his 13 year old cousin, Connor (see left picture)and Griffin is trying to be a good big brother to Cooper (18 months, top pic), and teach him how to dance. Reminds me of how Brian took Sean under his wing. (here in the red shirt arm-wrestling Sean, to see who gets to play Champion Aunt Peggy in Ping Pong first)















Now I can't wait for little-girl Parker to get old enough for all these men to become supremely over-protective of her!

The Longest Hour of My Life

I am normally extremely comfortable in social situations. But then again, most of my socializations are around adults ~ or children who are related to me, thus I can be myself.
Today I journeyed WAY outside my comfort zone and was pursuaded to help with Griffin's one hour Halloween kindergarten party.
(I may never forgive the pursuader)
Since it was, after all, a Halloween party, I thought that I would get in the "spirit" of the occasion and dress up a little. I grabbed a Mickey Mouse apron, chef hat and spatula. Simple, yet festive. (I thought)
When I was picked up by my niece and her well-behaved 5 year old, Annie laughed at my appearance but Griffin wouldn't speak to me. Later he confided that HE thught that everyone in the whole class would laugh at me. I told him, "that was the point..to have FUN..."

I had brought along my camera because my intention was to simply enjoy snapping pictures. I never dreamed anyone would ask me to actually help out.

There were about 9 drafted parents to lend their help, so I was certain that no one would even notice I was there.
Well, the celebration included not one, but TWO classes of 5 year-olds. Their schedule of fun included having each of the forty-four munchkin participants spending 11 minutes at FIVE different "activity-stations".

I was trying to stay out of everyone's way so I sat close to the windows (planning an escape route) when the "head party-planner Mom" threw a bag of stuff at me, pointed at a nearby miniature round table and instructed me to handle the making of "creative" spider cookies,
("oh, crap", I breathed)
I was panicking...then I finally caught Annie's eye across the room and motioned her to get over here and take over. She actually hurdled over 3 tables to get to me ~ MAYBE becauseI might have given her the impression with my wild, desperate, out-of-control sign language, that a blood-curdling screaming was about to commence.
Do you know that Annie opened 12 juice boxes and spiked the little straw in the containers, before I could manage ONE?


She had calmly and swiftly taught 5 rounds of seven kids how to decorate their cookie like a spider, all the while making clever 5 year old chit chat, and still managed to distribute the needed paper plates and napkins. She then wiped their little faces, cleaned the table and ushered in the next group without missing a beat.
Meanwhile, I sat frozen....and in awe.


I DID manage to take a few pictures and help two kids shed their cumbersome costumes.
I swear that the clock had stopped because the one hour that I had committed to lasted at least 2 days.

Me and my apron and chef hat went home and took a long nap.

God bless young Mothers.

FOOTBALL SUNDAY = HEALTH PROBLEMS

Hi, my name if Peggy and I am a competition-aholic.

I happpen to be a living-room-screaming, jumping-like-a-pregnant-kangaroo, Bengal fan.
I also admit to being a wee bit too obsessed with not only winning, but dominating at basement games with a tiny ounce of excessive energy.
Additionally, I enjoy a friendly hand-crunching wager centering on just about anything from:
"I can do the dishes in under 4:15"...to..."I'll bet I can reel off more 1950's TV shows faster than you can" (aimed at a 20 year old victim to tilt the edge in my favor)

Right now I am recuperating from the Bengals losing a ridiculous game by 2 points... I spent 185 minutes of my time watching grown men grunting, spitting, falling and flexing, all the while risking my health in a number of ways:
1) Holding my breath until the end of each play and wondering why I am light-headed
2) Eating way too many peanuts with machine-gun-like precision like the more that I shot in my mouth, the more likely Carson Palmer would find Chad Johnson in the end zone.
3) My stomach housing more knots than a fisherman's boat rigging...
4) My blood pressure creeping towards stroke level

Why do I care that much about this silly game? If they win or lose, it won't disturb my lovely little life one itsy bit.
But my emotions need to be controlled or my involvement in competition, whether as an desperate participant in some ego-induced bet or as a peanut-gobbling spectator, will be limited to wheelchair races in the hospital corridors.


For Christmas, SOMEONE needs to get me an automated heart defibrillator.

Halloween...Did someone say "TREATS"?

It's that time of year, again.
Time for us all to put on a mask, scare any innocent by-stander, drink too much cider at the kids parties, swill too much spiked (by the evil witch) punch at an adult's gathering, and inhale candy like it was the latest all-natural condiment.

Yes, this IS supposed to be the KIDS time of the year, but I have seen some adults..hmm..or maybe I should say "older kids"? get into the festivities like it was MardiGras for full force.

Now these same mature(?) grown-ups must be getting bored with just dressing up their kids and themselves. They have moved on to their pets...adorning them with theatrical outfits that would make professional Hollywood costumer-makers drool.
I have received about 56 emails that have pictures of all breeds of animals in their cute little pirate costume or their Richard Nixon mask. They must think it is the ultimate "TREAT" for these pets.

If we like this holiday so much, why don't we have it once a week?
Be creative all year long?
Be someone else every seven days. (Most of the guys I know will dress like Donald Trump, hoping some of the "success" will rub off.)

Me? I think I will stick to my own outfits. The other morning, I rolled out of bed way too early and decided to start my day visiting the Waffle House...before my normal routine of a shower, make up, etc. One of the waitresses asked me if I was going to a Holloween costume party as Rip Van Winkle.
She didn't get much of a tip.

I guess I should bite the bullet and figure out a cutesy costume for Bailey. I think just some sunglasses so he can be a doggie movie star will suffice.



(Unless he begs me to dust off the Paris Hilton outfit for ME and the chiquaqua outfit for HIM..again)

Minimum wage

Get out my BIG BOX of TIDE....my soapbox of choice!

I would love to initiate a question to about 100 people in the Cincinnati area. I wonder how many would know what the minimum wage is and how many would know what their congressman earns (I use the term "earn" loosely).

Here is a quote from an article and although this information is a few months old, I think it is interesting with the elections ‘round the corner:

By Lou Dobbs CNN
Wednesday, June 21, 2006;
"Without much fanfare, the House of Representatives last week (June, 2006) voted to give members of Congress yet another pay raise, as it has done almost every year for nearly a decade."
"For some reason, our elected officials decided against holding a news conference. Maybe that's because they didn't want to draw attention to the fact that they raise their own salaries almost every year while refusing to raise the pay of our lowest-paid workers."
“…since the last time Congress increased the minimum wage for our lowest-paid workers, (10 years!)buying power has fallen by 25 percent. Yet over that time our elected representatives have given themselves eight pay raises totaling more than 23 percent.”
“…..it's impossible to deny the national minimum wage of $5.15 is not enough for a family to live above the poverty line. The annual salary for workers earning the national minimum wage still leaves a family of three about $6,000 short of the poverty threshold. Raising the minimum wage to $7.50 would positively affect the lives of more than 8 million workers, including an estimated 760,000 single mothers and 1.8 million parents with children under 18. But even this 46 percent increase would get them only to the poverty line. Don't you think these families just might need that cost-of-living increase a bit more than our elected officials who are paid nearly $170,000 a year?" ~ Lou Dobbs

In 1951, a postage stamp cost 3 cents…now it’s 39 cents….
Minimum wage in 1955 was .75….now it’s $5.15 (federal guidelines…some states are different)
Should minimum wage keep pace with the cost of a stamp over 50 years?
The State of Washington has adopted it’s minimum wage to $7.63….Ohio is still at the federally endorsed $5.15.
Can YOU imagine not getting a pay raise in TEN YEARS??
Since economics is a common battleground, maybe we should give some thought to this topic.

Dream A Little Dream

I had the strangest dream last night.
In fact, most mornings I could start my day saying that same phrase.
Sometimes I’ll awaken in the middle of a great dream where I am about to win the prize behind door #1 when I wake up in frustration with NO prize! RATS!
I MUST return to slumber to see what I won!
Try as I might to rewind and press PLAY to continue this sleep-induced movie, the dream has been fractured and when I return to door #1, instead, I am in the living room and hitting my Pro Staff 4 golf ball with a sand wedge out of ash trays.

Last night’s cinema had me, the star of the movie, at a swimming pool and I was competing in the super-national diving championship.
I find myself alone, on the diving board, with thousands of people holding their breath to witness what perfect dive Peggy, the Diving Diva, will attempt.
I hear the announcer say, “Degree of difficulty ~10…this is a very dangerous dive and no one in the history of diving competition has ever successfully completed this plunge.” And then he adds in a lowered whisper, “but if anyone can do it, Peggy can.”

But I wonder if I can do it.

I breathe a silent prayer and begin my approach…I bounce perfectly on the 10 meter board high in the air with toes pointed, faultless form, whirling, twisting and spinning 8 times ~ the glassy surface welcoming me as I make my flawless entry into the water without a ripple.
I rise to the surface expecting the roar of the crowd and people jumping into the water to congratulate me as all 15 international judges score unanimous 10’s!

But NOOOO…I wake up to my pooch, Bailey, barking and pawing at me because he has to perform his morning constitution (usually with flawless "10's").

I wonder what other people dream about?
Does the Pope dream that the wine at Mass is really an extra dry martini?
Does Rosie still dream about Tom Cruise?
Does Brook Shields dream that Tom Cruise is a patient of Freud's?
Does Katy Holmes dream about Johnny Depp?
Does David Hasselhoff dream he has talent?
Do certain un-named politicians dream they have sense?
Does the FOX news team dream they are un-biased?
Does Jerry Springer really dream he could win Dancing with the Stars?
Does Oprah dream...hmmm...she has everything, what would she dream about?

I’m thinking that maybe I should rely on my conscious state to accomplish my goals.
But I still won’t give up on my dreams. I WILL write a best-seller.

A BEST SELLER

Ha Ha! See? I wrote it!! TADA! Don’t pinch me yet!

Alternative to Stupid Political Ads

Are you as fed up with these school yard verbal rock throwing political ads as I am?
Wow..I feel like these "kids" need a "time-out".
I haven't heard ONE ad that promotes what the political candidate wants to DO without throwing verbal attacks at their opponent.
Is everyone who is running for office THAT insecure about their OWN political position?

I can hear them saying "nanana boo boo" and "your Mama wears army boots" and "I know you are but what am I"?
just like 6 year olds. No, wait, most of the 6 year olds won't even stoop to the levels that these candidates are bending too. Speaking of bending...they all need a swift kick in the buttocks.

If they are going to act like idiots in their name-calling, why don't we just put them in a pasture and let them fight it out among dung like the barn-yard animals they are resembling.

I really wish I knew what some of these guys believed in other than "hating your neighbor"...it's giving us in this grand country the bully title that we are now trying to deny.

Sing Like No One is Listening

I love it when people totally let go of their inhibitions and let loose with "soul singing".
I mean like when someone is belting out a song like no one is listening. You know what I'm talkin' about....when you might be singing like you're auditioning for American Idol....in the shower....with no one within hearing distance within 44 miles.
You are actually a star for 5 minutes as you are singing "in the zone" and in the privacy of your basement, gyrating better than Elvis the Pelvis and Liza Minelli did in their day (or Taylor Hicks THOUGHT he could on A.I.).
~ Or ~ what can be better than singing loud and proud like a 10 year old who could care less who is listening or watching?
Life is heaven when you are crooning a romantic ballad carrassing your invisible hand-held microphone and emoting with curled lips, furrowed brow, the closed eyes and pained expression...and you have the audience in the palm of your hands....

Then....

someone sneaks up and snaps a picture....

you are flipped back to reality...

but it was a rush while it lasted.

gotta go..the baby needs her diaper changed.

DIE - T?

One of the ways I attempt to keep up-dated with current events is checking cnn.com twice daily. It gives me concise headlines for various topics that I can click on to explore details if I want them. Some of these areas of interest include, but are not limited to: Weather, Sports, Stocks, Religion, Politics, Law, Money, Entertainment, World News, etc.

Today under ENTERTAIMENT, it's brief headline stated: Sharon Osbourne has weight issues.
Now I KNOW that she is married to Ozzie, the crazy rocker-druggie-rat-head connoisseur...and that she had a failed talk show that lasted just 5 months ~ and that she was in the limelight for an even more ridiculous TV realty program, showcasing her dysfunctional family ~ but WHY would ANYONE care that she is worried about her weight?

Does CNN not know that over 2/3 of adult Americans are over-weight?
If you "google-search" the word DIET, Over 255 MILLION hits are registered!
Cook-books are the only type of book that can out-sell the Bible, for pity sake (and that IS a pity!)!

Maybe the SPORTS section should run a headline: "Mike Ditka has layrngitis"


or under POLITICS, the headline that would get my attention: "President Ford concerned about economy"

Under STOCKS, the head-turning headline could be: "Donald Trump worries over the Real Estate Market"

I know that there must be very few people in the Entertainment world who are concerned about their girth, right? Otherwise, this wouldn't be such a news item, would it?

Well, there is one redeeming fact for you all.
When I "google-searched" the word MONEY, it beat DIET by 2 BILLION hits.

Maybe I'll go back to getting my news from the National Enquirer. They have better pictures of stars without make-up.

Phone 911..there's a robbery!

There is a lovely couple living near Cincinnati, in Montgomery, Ohio who are rather, shall we say, "set in their ways"? They have owned the same yellow rotary phone hanging in their kitchen since Eisenhauer was in office. It is one step above Aunt Bee cranking the handle and asking Mable the operator for a connectin to Lloyd, the barber.
Finally, their daughter convinced them, after they had some issues with static on the line, to buy a new phone. Upon further review (can you tell by my phrasing that it's football season?) the facts show that they had been renting this phone that should be in some museum for kids to ask their parents what it is ~ for $21.95/month. Their dear old phone company has made a ton of money over the past umpteen years. (They didn't want to add up the lost money on rental as it might upset their tummies)

Coincidentally, I found this article on the internet...please make sure your loved ones are not in the same predicament!

Widow Rented Rotary Phone for 42 Years

A widow rented a rotary dial telephone for 42 years, paying what her family calculates as more than $14,000 for a now outdated phone.
Ester Strogen, 82, of Canton, first leased two black rotary phones — the kind whose round dial is moved manually with your finger — in the 1960s. Back then, the technology was new and owning telephones was unaffordable for most people.

Until two months ago, Strogen was still paying AT&T to use the phones — $29.10 a month.
New Jersey-based Lucent Technologies, a spinoff of AT&T that manages the residential leasing service, said customers were given the choice option to opt out of renting in 1985. The number of customers leasing phones dropped from 40 million nationwide to about 750,000 today, he said.
"We will continue to lease sets as long as there is a demand for them," Skalko said.

Strogen says she's not a big fan of her new push-button phone.
"I'd like to have my rotary back," she said. "I like that better."


SIGH....Now I'm wondering if she still has dial-up internet service?

Nice Ear, Babe ~ YUM!

"Iron Mike" Tyson is an interesting character, isn't he?
He "performed" in the boxing ring for over 20 years.
And he has made a fool of himself both in and out of the ring.
In fact, his life has been a 3 ring circus at times.
He has declared bankruptcy.
He admitted to beating his wife, Robin Givens.
He has done jail time ~ TWICE...once for rape and once for assault.
In jail he told the inmates, "I'm on zoloft so I won't kill anyone."
In 2000 he bragged that "I'm a violent person, almost an animal"

He has bitten an ear off of an opponent (Holyfield) in a boxing match in 1998 and wondered what the fuss was all about.
Then he bit another opponent, Lennox Lewis 3 years later.

But NOW...he announces (from STRONGSVILLE, OHIO) that he will be touring the country allowing people to box him in the ring for 4 rounds.
He will even consider boxing against women.
WOMEN? REALLY?
I was startled by that but why should I think that strange?
He doesn't now, nor did he ever in the past, seem to blink at punching out his
112 pound bride so why not put on the gloves against a stranger?
He gives being a "Bully" a new definition.

I think I would think twice about anyone sitting next to this guy in Church, not to mention in a ring that blesses beatings.

I sure hope all our kids see this and then they can grow up and be just like our sports heroes. You know, like the football players who enjoy breaking people's faces and injuring players during a nice little friendly game of "toss the pigskin".

I'm getting just a little cynical about sports lately...except Ping Pong, of course.

So I think I'm going to go practice my overhead SMASH!

Who Invented Ping Pong?

The Thrill of Victory and the Agony of Defeat have both been felt to my inner-most core by participating in the game of Ping Pong.
I started playing PP when I was about 10 years old. My parents felt the basement needed another game besides darts, maybe because my older 13 year old brother Dave, loved using the dart board and ME for some of his Magic Shows. He had seen the many magicicians on TV where someone tries to throw an ax or shoot arrows at a target with a woman standing in front of it. He enjoyed me re-enacting these trick substituting the dart board to simulate the other stunts.
Dave seemed mezmorized with magic and attempting any kind of tricks. He bribed me well over one hundred times to dress as his lovely assistant, Wanda, for neighborhood magic shows. I can't tell you how many coins got pulled from various orafices and how much water I had to drink from a fake water glass. At least he never tried to saw me in half...at least not in front of anyone.

Well, after neighbors complained, my folks thought that maybe a diversion was in order. So they purchased a ping pong table that saw a minimum of 4,578 games played on it for the next 20 years. My friends, my brother's friends, my parent's friends, people who we didn't even know would wonder down to the basement for a quick game.
We were the Ping Pong Palace and I was the reigning queen. By the time I was 17,no one could beat me, including my brother and Father. (well, maybe once in a great while)
Then my brother got married and had two sons. These two fellas got addicted early to the game..maybe when they were only 5 and 6 years old. They had experienced many years of smelling defeat up close and personal. There were numerous incidents of un-sportsman-like conduct....swearing...thrown paddles, scuffed up tables, split balls, injuries due to slamming into the concrete wall ~ and that was just ME.

Now I am fast-forwarding to the present. I am 55 years old and haven't played for at least 25 years. My nephews are just a little older than when I was in my prime. Maybe they can beat me a little now...
One nephew has a 33 year old wife who will remain nameless because after I trounced her 3 games in a row...she squeeked out a 26-24 win. (She enlisted the aid of her two children ~ ages 5 and 18 months, to distract me by throwing ping-pong balls, teddy bears, and I think a couple of gin & tonics on the table as I was trying to return her weak serve)

At the moment of defeat, I wailed my primal yell from the depths of my loins which I haven't had to do for many, many moons. Maybe some of you heard it about noon today?
Anyway..today I curse, albeit lightly, the people who invented that dreaded game.

I am thinking at this point, maybe being sawed in half is a better use of my time.

CHANGES

With the autumn change of weather, temperatures and colors, comes deep emotional reflection upon the changes in our own lives.

OK...maybe not.

But on occasion I DO think (for 2 minutes or less) that there are changes that I have NO control over, and some changes that I could initiate on my own.
Examples (you just KNEW I was going to go there, didn't you?):
EYESIGHT - When I was in my 20's I could see clearly that 1.68 inch golf ball 250 yards away (if it were My ball, it was usually on the green right next to the flag).
I could see a spider wink at me from 20 paces.
Now ~ I'm lucky to see the brand name "Titlist" on the golf ball as I squint at it sitting on my hand.
If a gorilla were standing 3 feet away from me, I might very well mistake him for our neighbor Sam.
HEARING ~ When I was younger, I could hear the grass grow..ok, maybe I could hear the mower.
Now, a cannon could go off in the hallway and I would think the dog passed a little gas. (by the way, these ARE just examples..we have no artillery in the house)

In my younger days (oooh, I promised myself that I would never say things that made ME wince when my PARENTS uttered them 50 years ago and now, look at me!), my skin was as tight as a sweater on Mariah Carey.
Now ~ my skin seems to move like Jerry Springer doing the cha cha on Dancing with the Stars.

Now there is not much that I can do about these changes in my body.
But I look at the things that I CAN change and wonder why I don't.
A widely used satirical definition on insanity is:
One who does the same action over and over and expects a different result.
That's me.

I still don't floss as much as I should and I get the same scolding every 12 years when I go to the dentist.
I still have small sip of diet coke now and then (well, not actually NOW...that is just a figure of speech) when I KNOW the studies tell us how bad carbonation and fake sugar is.
I still enjoy a martini on the rocks with a couple of olives followed by a keg of beer chaser on a rare celebratory occasion when I KNOW that kills a few brain cells.
I KNOW I don't pray enough giving thanks, but when I NEED something, I'm bending the ole knee like an Italian Grandmother at a funeral.
I can change these things in the future.
No need crying over spilled milk (I really didn't spill any milk...just another figure of speech).
But I can learn from some of the crazy things that I have done in the past that I wish I hadn't and try to change the impulse in the future.
Examples:
Curb my spending habits - buying 14 of the same hair ribbons because they are on sale ~ and I don't wear hair ribbons.
Stop the insanity of continuing to buy the weekly "reputables" that have miniscule value, other than I can sometimes keep up with the names of young celebrities and be able to engage in conversations with anyone under 35.
Keep on a budget. Maybe I should curb my support to just $5.00 for the neighborhood kids who come by regularly to offer a chance to assist their team in going to Figi for a soccer tournament. I feel like I should pay their entire plane fares. They all know I am a soft touch.
Improve my ping pong skills by practicing. I have come to believe that I can just WILL myself to do anything with professional skills rather than actually practicing.
This is immature thinking that can get me in trouble during tournament time.

Well, that is MORE than enough reflecting at this point.

I do know one change I will make in the future:
I will NOT approach a good looking 30 year old flag football coach named Joe to ask him if he is married. He said "NO" but quickly added with obvious fright on his face, "I AM seeing someone!" and he ran, not walked away.
This is before I could mumble, "I'm asking for my 26 year old friend, Jana, not me!"

I love Autumn.

What "Bugs" Me

The change of weather has prompted some of God's smallest critters to feel they have a "home" in MY house. So, I call one of God's bigger creatures to come "usher" them out.
I get very, uh,er..shall we say ~ WIMPISH when it comes to this kind of stuff? I'd rather have 10 teeth pulled than deal with 3 ants parading through the hallway with hoisted signs reading "we work for food". (Ok, never mind about the teeth thing.I was just using editorial license)

So in comes the guy with the uniform, the obligatory mask and his trusty 20 ounce can of Raid.
He disappears with a barely audible and supposedly comforting phrase, "I hope I can get 'em all"......
WHAT? He HOPES he can get them all?

That's why I pay for a $400/year contract...so at a moments notice, "Mr. Terminator" (can't use the company's REAL name for fear of law suits) can come in and save this damsel in distress.

He returns in 3 minutes and takes 30 minutes to explain to me stuff that I really don't want to know about concerning various species of bugs. Then he tries to "upgrade" my contract so he can use the REAL ushering techniques for both inside AND outside. (I presumed that I HAD the contract that would really get rid of anything unwanted ~ (including maybe guests overstaying their welcome)
Now I am getting a bit nauseous with his graphic description of what I MIGHT get into myhome over the winter months here in Ohio, so I attempt to divert his attention by asking him how busy he is that day. He tells me that the company's eight "technicians" are having to work extra hours to take up the slack of a fellow technician who left the company. He went on to (slip up) say how much he misses the departure of his fellow tech as the guy apparently taught him how to increase his sales.
(SALES? I thought he was a bug killer!)
Then he actually BEAMED (no kidding..there was light coming from his nostrils) as he told me he had $8,000 in sales last year but this year he had increased his accounts to $35,000 due to this recently departed "coach".

A question then BEAMED into MY mind:
So, is he:
A) a "technician" who has a stomach for exterminating little bugs?
B) a super-stud salesperson with a can of aerosal and a mask...or
C) is the mask a hint as to what he is really doing?

Oh, by the way, no need to send a sympathy card for my little "friends" ~ they are still here, only now they are demonstrating with bigger signs that say, "We have gas masks too HA, HA"

Anyone want to come over for dinner?

Whoops! Slip of the Tongue

WEEKENDS ARE FOR FUN & FRIVOLITY.....ENJOY!

Below is a compilation of actual student bloopers collected by teachers
from 8th through 12th grades.

1) Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by Camelot. The
climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live
elsewhere.

2) The Bible is full of interesting caricatures. In the first book of
the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One
of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?"

3) Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made
unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went
up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever
reached Canada.

4) Solomom had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines.

5) The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we
wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female
moth.

6) Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that
name.

7) Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people
advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock.
After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.

8) Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The
Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made
king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus."

9) Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple
while standing on his son's head.

10) Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a
success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted
"hurrah."

11) It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg
invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was
the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure
because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis
Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper.

12) The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He
was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made
much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies,
comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and
Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be
laid by Juliet.

Ah, hem...enough of these mis-guided regurgitations out of the "moths of babes"

Vote for your favorite..if it matches mine, you win a prize!

Making "Cents" of Grocery Store Pricing

I noticed that a 20 ounce bottle of any Coke product is $1.29 at the local grocery store. A 2 liter coke that is 67.6 ounces is $1.39.
Heck, the extra plastic surrounding the coke and the larger label has to cost a dime more, never mind the fluid within!
That is a HUGE difference!
Per ounce - the 2 liter costs is 2 cents/oz......
vs. bad boy 20 ounce bottle = 20 cents/oz.

I don't think an ounce is even a swallow. Wait. Let me try.
Whoops, I was wrong... it is. Not that I drink soda pop. It is bad for anyone. Especially the aspartame added. (see www.mercola.com and look up aspartame)
I was merely sacrificing myself for scientific purposes.

I love to compare per unit pricing in the stores.
Go to the toilet paper section. (excuse me..the "bathroom tissue" section)
When the package goes from 1 roll at 38 cetns per unit to 48 rolls at 4 cents/unit..you had better be paying attention.
I've experienced a "ON SALE" item that is 4 for $5.00. Then you see that you can buy ONE for $1.00!
And how many of us FALL for the old "2 for $1.00"? I only NED ONE..I only WANT ONE..yet I buy TWO because it will get me "a deal"! Of course when I go through the checkout line with ONE, it cost me 50 cents or 51 cents..so what is the big deal?
Well, I can always say, "well, I got it on sale" like my Mother said every single time she bought ANYTHING.
Tsk, tsk..those tricky, sneaky marketers.

Buyer beware.
Now if I could only figure out how to price my book. 1 for $12. 2 for $25.?

My Movie

I have been fortunate enough to have spent the last 4 days in a house 50 yards from the ocean. Since it is off-season here at Virginia Beach, there are only a handful of people who set footprints on MY PROPERTY. I have an un-obstructed view of God's water Universe. I haven't watched TV..and am RARELY checking email...my cell phone doesn't work out here so I am forced to think and relax....Kinda..

I am working on finishing my book that Sean is making me write.
Now my pubisher is tired of me dragging my heels and has given me deadlines. UGH!
I feel a wee bit of pressure like the kid hurridly finishing his essay on the way to school on the bus. However, looking out at the ocean is the most calming feeling I've had since I took a puff of my college roommate's "Cigarette" at least I THOUGHT it was a cigarette!...(I swear I didn't inhale..THAT much!)

Back to the ocean's calming influence.
Looking out at this "Movie"...the waves, the birds, the blue sky with the beautiful clouds...life stops for a short time..and then today...a special short film of dolphins entertained us for a full 30 minutes. I am close to heaven.

What book?
What pressures of life?

I am one lucky gal.

Oh, crap...my publisher just got through on my cell phone! I have 3 days to finish up. GULP. I wonder if I'll have to watch Survivor tomorrow? Anything to procrastinate...to heck with the ocean.

Everyone Has Their Hero

I suppose we all have someone (or someones) to whom we look to for advise..or inspiration. Some admire Carrot Top, David Hasaproblem, Bob Saget...but one of mine is Will Rogers. He had just good old-fashioned common sense and a huge love of mankind.




Wisdom of Will Rogers

* Don't squat with your spurs on.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody
else's dog around.

* After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring.
He kept it up until a hunter came along and shot him.
The moral: When you're full of bull, keep your mouth shut.

* Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.

* There's two theories to arguin' with a woman. Neither one works.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Never slap a man who's chewin' tobacco.

* When you give a lesson in meanness to a critter or a person, don't be surprised
if they learn their lesson.

* The quickest way to double your money is to fold it over and put it back in
your pocket.

* Never miss a good chance to shut up.

* There are three kinds of men:
The one that learns by reading;
the few who learn by observation;
the rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.

TWINKIES AND ROOT BEER

Since I am away at a secret hiding place attempting to get work done without interruption, I thought I would "cheat" a bit on blogging and pass along some interesting tidbits that have been so kindly forwarded to me.
If enough people would get on Annie's case to be a "Fill-in" blogger, you all would be in for MORE of a treat!

A little boy wanted to meet God. He knew it was a long trip to where God lived, so he packed his suitcase with Twinkies and a six-pack of Root Beer and he started his journey.

When he had gone about three blocks, he met an elderly man. The man was sitting in the park just feeding some pigeons.

The boy sat down next to him and opened his suitcase. He was about to take a drink from his root beer when he noticed that the man looked hungry, so he offered him a Twinkie.

The man gratefully accepted it and smiled at boy. His smile was so pleasant that the boy wanted to see it again, so he offered him a root beer.
Again, the man smiled at him. The boy was delighted! They sat there all afternoon eating and smiling, but they never said a word.

As it grew dark, the boy realized how tired he was and he got up to leave, but before he had gone more than a few steps, he turned around, ran back to the man, and gave him a hug. The man gave him his biggest smile ever.

When the boy opened the door to his own house a short time later, his mother was surprised by the look of joy on his face. She asked him, "What did you do today that made you so happy?

"He replied, "I had lunch with God." But before his mother could respond, he added, "You know what? God's got the most beautiful smile I've ever seen!"

Meanwhile, the elderly man, also radiant with joy, returned to his home. His son was stunned by the look of peace on his face and he asked," Dad, what did you do today that made you so happy?"

He replied, "I ate Twinkies in the park with God." However, before his son responded, he added," You know, he's much younger than I expected."

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. People come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. Embrace all equally!