Signs

Yesterday I walked into a store that had a sign on it's entrance that read "WE PROSECUTE SHOPLIFTERS".
I wondered if there were stores that DIDN'T prosecute shoplifters and if THEY had signs reflecting their generous nature.

The next store I entered had a sign that stated "NO HANDGUNS ALLOWED".
I wish I could see the surveillance camera taping the 125 people who read
the sign and went back to their truck to deposit their weapon before
returning.

Others senseless signs to me are:
a restaurant that advertises "GOOD FOOD"...I've never seen one that said "MEDIOCRE CUISINE"..
or
"HOT SOUP" instead of "TEPID SOUP"?

Furniture stores - "SUPERB QUALITY" Really? You mean your mattresses aren't "LOW QUALITY"??

"COLD BEER"...oh, nuts...my mouth was watering for a "LUKEWARM BREW"...if they had only advertised THAT!

When I see a street sign warning me, WRONG WAY, I wonder if every other street should instill confidence in the driver by stating they are going the "RIGHT WAY".

Oh, well, maybe I should have named this blog post, "HYSTERICAL OBSERVATIONS" when in fact, it's just my own musings....