I Like Your Sweater

My Mom was a complimenter.
She would find SOMETHING nice to say every time I would see her, albeit somewhat of a stretch sometimes. Like one time she observed that I had worn the same yellow sweater the past 8 times that she had seen me, but "it is a nice bright color on you, even with the grape juice stains (it MIGHT have been wine?)".

Mom's Mother had taught her to be a member of the "compliment club" whereby each member would give another a "T.L." (Trade Last)..which meant that person A had heard a nice thing said about person B...and would be happy to trade that compliment last after receiving one from person B first.
Got it?
Yeah, it can get confusing.
Suffice it to say, Mom & Grandma were promoting saying nice stuff to people. They figured that many nice comments are said about people who never hear them and this way, if someone thinks they may get a pat on the back in return, they may be more inclined to spread the the good stuff.
Maybe a "T.L." is too awkward because it looks like you might be looking for a free compliment handout. That's not the point. Plus it can get REALLY embarrassing when someone has 23 nice things that they heard about YOU and you can't think of one little comment that someone else said about your compliment deliverer.

One time I was teaching an insurance class and I decided to interject a little motivational pearl and I asked each person to find something nice to say to one other person when we took our break. I told them to avoid general phrases and that the more specific the compliment, the better. If you told someone they were a nice person, you should give an example of why you are saying that.
Some fella came up to me during the highlighted compliment time and told me he like gray hair.
Thanks.

I know that we are all responsible for our own happiness and all that rot, but heck, why is it so hard to purposefully find a nice thing to say to people?
My theory (I now that you didn't ask) is that we are too wrapped up in our own ego..our own world ~ and how we look, act and appear to others.

The other night I went to a poker party and was assigned to a table where I only knew 1 of the 5 other players. During the evening I asked each one what they did for a living and how they liked their job..or where they lived, etc. By the end of the night, I knew everything about these people but not one asked me one question. However, to my surprise, they asked me to join their "group" which is supposed to be a big deal to "qualify". I guess they liked me but did they know me?
The only fact they thought they knew about me was a lie..when I finally offered up that my job was that of a "hair dresser at a funeral home"...and that proclamation was ignored as I was told that I need to put in my 25 cents to stay in the game.
Sigh...

Today to find 5 nice things to say to others on a daily basis without looking for anything in return.

Oh, by the way, YOU obviously are a very eclectic person to be taking the time to read this post.
YOU are the bomb.
YOU would get my vote in the next election (for WHAT position, I have not decided)
YOU are very patient to have even finished reading this blather.

Oh, and I like your sweater.