MKIA and Other “Professional” Designations

I salute people who have pursued extended education in a specific field of study. I would rather have my taxes done by a CPA than by my landscaper who says he is “really good at math”. When I am sick, I search for a Doctor who knows how to diagnose my problem and write a legible prescription. But I think some of these designations are being distributed like car-wash flyers. Take the insurance industry (Please) ~ I took 10 courses to achieve a CLU designation. After obtaining this dubious honor, I found that the studies really didn't help me accomplish my job duties any better but it showed my clients that I had a commitment to my career. At least, that’s what my boss said when convincing me to pursue this purported sought-after designation. However, if I were to ask 100 people what CLU stood for, the only ones who would know would be others in the insurance industry and some of THEM wouldn’t have a CLU-E. As a matter of fact, there are over 30 designations that are available just within the insurance industry, including, CFP, RHM, LUTCF, FLMI, CHFC. Run these by your insurance agent and see if he/she owns any of them or at least KNOWS what any of them mean.
There is an online degree program from Belford University that sells degrees from $379 - $779. I could get a Masters degree for $479 by providing my “life experience” information. Oh, but if I don’t have any “life experience” info, I can take an online equivalency test. Wow. There are similar web sites available to obtain a minister’s license. A friend of mine actually became a reverend in 5 minutes (and $35) and used it to legally preside over the nuptials of her daughter and fiancé/groom in Florida.
Maybe we should just create our own titles. One that I think applies to most of the Murphy family members, including the younger ones, is MKIA ~ Ms (or Mr.) Know-It-All. A friend of mine is a PhD and college professor. She was recently lamenting the fact that her college students did not know the meaning of a particular word. It just so happened that I had no idea what the word meant either! Do you think that I would ask her after what she said about her scholars? Heck no…but I thought I would show HER, so I said, “Well, that seems polysigrievious, doesn’t it? She barely hesitated and replied, “Of course!” The word “polysigrievious” is a word that I made up for a speech class assignment in college. But my MKIA friend wouldn’t dare ask me the meaning!
My nephew Sean recently emailed me a link to a web site that pays a person $3.00 for every TIP that would be displayed on their web page. Heck, they will go bankrupt by paying me, Peg Murphy, MKIA, for all my usable hints about house-cleaning, restaurant tipping, event parking, laundry, pest control and life in general. When I order my next set of business cards, I think I will print, MKIA behind my name. I wonder how many will actually ask me what it means or will they pretend to know?
The real designation should be for the parents of children ~ maybe the Mom with six kids and a husband who pays more attention to the TV than to burping the baby should have three letters behind her name: SIT (Saint in Training).
I think I’ll create a designation for myself.
Peg Murphy, CRAP ~ (Can you figure it out?)
Certified Right About Pretty-much-all-things