Stupid Pet Tricks

I'm sure that you have heard of David Letterman's Stupid Pet Tricks (SPT) ~ where Fido can carry a beer can to the waste basket on command and Sparky can pick up the phone receiver when it rings and Billie-bunny rabbit can ride a skate board.
Well, when I was a small lass (not Lassie) we, too, had a dog that could have qualified to earn the nominal $50.00 for 15 minutes of canine fame. When we first got our tiny French poodle puppy named Fluffy, my 6'1" Dad would get down on the floor and the puppy would lick his earlobes. Pop thought this was such a cute trick that once, when his friend, Jack McCarthy came over for a visit, Dad said, "Jack, watch this." With that, he stretched out on the floor, face down and called "Here, Fluffy, here Fluffy..." Dad was sprawled out alone in the center of the room with his hands on his head waiting for his new pet to perform for what seemed like an hour. After about five anxious minutes of cajoling, Fluffy finally came though with the only trick she felt like doing at the time: she crawled under a chair and relieved herself. Jack McCarthy roared with laughter and gave Fluffy a standing ovation while teasing poor Pop unmercifully. Dad muttered something ~ and that may have been the first time I went to Mom to ask her what a word meant ~ whereby she insisted that if I were to ever repeat it, I would get my mouth washed out with soap.

Back to David Letterman ~ His Stupid PET Tricks was so well received that he started Stupid HUMAN Tricks (SHT). I'm sure we ALL know someone who would qualify for this great honor, but yesterday I saw the Queen of SHT driving on the highway.
I was driving north on Rt. 75, taking some friends to the airport in Dayton and the weather was near blizzard-like conditions. The roads were snow covered and so slippery that we saw cars sliding off the road every half mile. A lovely wintry snow-ice mix was adding to the challenge of keeping the car ON the road. We never drove over 30 mph for the entire 45 mile trip that normally takes about 48 minutes. Yesterday we were lucky to arrive at the airport safely in a nerve-racking 98 minutes.
I think you get the picture.
Apparently a woman driving in the middle lane at 8 mph didn't.
We assumed that was holding up the few cars driving behind her because she was so nervous maneuvering her vehicle with the terrible road conditions. Then we saw her roll her window down and stick out her hand that was holding some kind of stick. As we drove closer, attempting to carefully pass her, we realized the "stick" turned out to be a snow scraper! She was attempting to scrape the snow/ice off her front windshield while steering! The four of us in the car were speechless (a SHT for the four of us, to be sure!) as we could not fathom the silliness of this individual. I thought that maybe someone from Candid Camera was filming expressions of motorists who witnessed this bit of insanity.

I swear I am going to start carrying my video camera everywhere from now on. Although, come to think of it, I'm glad I haven't been video-taped for some of the SHT I've done, like getting in what I thought was my parked car while a woman was sitting in the passenger side, waiting for her husband to come out of the bank.
She should have locked her doors...at least that what I told the police.