Challenged by even the not-so-technical Stuff

I have just returned from a quick trip to Boston, the land of educational institutions. I read once that there are more buildings of higher education per person than anywhere else in the world. (But don't believe all that you read) Maybe with all this intelligence roaming the always-under-construction streets, that is the reason for some new-fangled servcies that I haven't found a plethora of here in Ohio.

Oh, I do have one side-bar question - with all these well-educated people, how does it happen that the "BIG DIG" done gone wrong? WRONG in a HUGE way. Rumors have it that not only is the Ted Williams tunnel faulty with it's bolts that hold 123 billion tons of water out, but it was built too low to the ocean floor..so if a big ship comes in, LOOK OUT! But I digress.

OK, so here I am in the Boston Logan airport. I decide to "use the facilities"...and when I stand up from my brief relief, I can't find the handle to flush. Of course, I'm not completely ignorant....I know it is an automatic flush so I stand back awaiting the "big flush"...nothing...nada...I must have spent 43 minutes looking for the hidden "emergency handle". (ok, not 43 minutes but it seemed that way)
I finally shrug my shoulders and give up and leave the stall and lo and behold, when I am about 6 feet away, I hear the hidden flush-man doing his job. That's bothersome to me.

Now I am more than ready to wash my hands. It is now like a scavenger hunt to try to find how the soap dispenser is going to work and whether the fawcet will work at all.
Usually, there is the soap dispenser on the wall that has a little drop down apparatus that one either pulls, pushes up, or slides sideways. This particular restroom had a two fawcets sitting next to each other...and not the "turn-the-hot-or-
cold-water" kind. No, that would be too easy. The fawcets I am used to actually say "hot" and "cold" and it's easy! I observed as others approached the scenario with almost as much confusion and trepidation as I had.
I finally notice someone else waving their paw under one fawcet and getting a dribble of soap...then waving their hands under the other and getting water...for 3 seconds. It took me 4 passes under the soap and 5 under the water to really wash my hands.
Now I have been in this restroom so long, I am afraid I am going to miss my RETURNING flight due out in 5 days!

Now I moved to the hand dryer. What ever happened to paper towels?
Now I either crank, push or wave. This one you had to sing to. They have various songs that it will react to but I chose, "What a Wonderful World"..I have to admit that people applauded when I finished...hands dry in just 4 versus. I thought I was receiving the standing ovation because of my singing, but I did hear the person standing five behind me whisper, "Thank heavens she is finally gone"...