Women must have been born with a credit card in one hand and a shopping list in the other. We start at a young age when Mom gives us a little cart of our own to push around the store. Women think of shopping as an Olympic event and we don't like competition from men. When we go shopping, we strap on our running shoes and we move swiftly and deftly (sometimes at break-neck speed) from one aisle to the other in an organized fashion, leaving the frozen foods for last.We have learned the lesson early that we might incur the un-forgiving looks from experienced shoppers observing a novice waiting in line with leaking ice cream cartons. We sometimes will check our watches' stop-watch feature to see how our time compared with our last weekly adventure.
Most men are so out of place at the grocery store. They meander (oh, how that bugs the professional shopper!) around the store, pushing their cart like it was a lazy Sunday afternoon at the park. The only exception is Football weekends when they arrive in hoards, stocking up on alcoholic libations and snacks and streaking toward the checkout like it was the last play of the game and they were going out for the winning touchdown.
We LOATHE the man who stops dead in the MIDDLE of the aisle to look for the one item that we are sure their poor ill wife needs to finish cooking dinner even though she has a 103 degree temperature. He just stands there blocking the way without regard to other professional shoppers who are trying to break their own record for most efficient grocery trip. And when we are 'rounding the corner for that last most important shopping aisle, here comes a meandering man going the wrong way on OUR aisle! SIGH..
and lastly....a many men wait until the clerk has rung up his total and the bagger has filled all the bags, and he finally gets out....a CHECK!! Then he puts his wallet back into his pocket and the clerk reminds him she needs to see his ID. Back into the pocket he goes for his ID....but wait! He has to answer his ringing cell phone first before handing the ID over. Now of course, whomever is behind him (not-so-patiently-waiting) is steaming because this amateur is ruining her world record in this event for this day.
Naturally, most women know better than to carry anthing but a credit card for optimum swipe time ~ and the cell phone is either in the purse or we have a headset on to avoid costly time delays in using our hands for anything but what is necessary for our Olympic event.
When will grocery stores require a license ~ or at the very minimum, CLASSES for shopping in their stores?
Probably when our USA male alpine skiers and our mens' speed skaters stop being prima donnas. Oooh, that could be a looooooooong time.
In the meantime, I gotta run....I think my own record at the store is going to be broken today!
3 comments:
You're not saying that there are differences between men and women are you?
Anything a man can do a woman can do...I hear that all the time.
I'm with you on the men meandering through the aisles thing...but I've waited for hours of my life behind a housewife who waits until her order has been rung up before she thinks about getting out her checkbook.
I'm with you about the guy on the cell phone. He's probably talking to his insurance company asking how much his rates are going up after his wife hit that fence post...
I'm off to break your record...just point me to the supermarket (that's where they sell chips, right?)
I figured that i might hear form you..that is why I was certain to use the words MOST men, etc.
Sean I know you are the superior exception to MOST men.
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