Gratitude is the Attitude

I have a friend in Columbus whose Father was a very successful (retired) professional, living with the love of his life of 65 years in a very nice house with a more than adequate bank account. He was almost 100% blind. When she visited him one Sunday she found him sitting on his comfortable 35 year old couch. He stroked the cushion a bit and said, "I am so grateful for this couch." What?!? Someone giving thanks for a COUCH?? Coincidentally, my friend has always been one of the most grateful people I know. So, maybe the nut doesn't fall far from the tree in her case (Hmmm..she may not thank me for that reference). She not only writes thankyou notes at appropriate times, she will take the TIME (an invaluable commodity these days) to express gratitude face to face for some of the the smallest bits of perceived generosity or benevolence. I'm afraid she is in the minority in her expressions of gratitude. It seems most people are so wrapped up in their lives and busy schedules that the most common courtesy of thankfulness is long forgotten. Are we just spoiled and take things, events and people for granted?
I was raised that I started my day and ended my day with a prayer of thanks. And throughout the day, at least we gave thanks for our food before every meal. I was taught to write thank you notes. I have a friend who is so upset with her grandchildren for never acknowledging the $10.00 she sends in their birthday cards that she is threatening to cut them off forever! I wouldn't go that far because I don't give to get thanks...I love the opportunity. Having said that, it sure warms my heart when I'm appreciated. Who doesn't like that?

With 1440 minutes a day (86,400 seconds) at our disposal, how many minutes do we spend in gratitude? It takes 2 seconds to say thank you and 5 minutes to write a note!

Many psychiatrists believe that those who are depressed are so wrapped up in their own problems that they need a "pattern interrupt". So, they "prescribe" an action to move their focus to others. They ask the patient to write 3 thank you notes a day. These notes can be written to anyone living or dead...and they don't even need to be mailed! And it is important that the gratitude is written vs. verbal. In writing these notes, people not only are thinking of others, they are remembering the blessings that they do have.

My Mom always taught me to call people by their names as that was a sign of respect. So, I would hear her thank Ginny, at Krogers as we were having our groceries rung up ~ and Carol, her favorite Librarian and Jerry, the mailman, etc.
One time we were leaving a restaurant after having a nice dinner and she stopped the bus boy, asked his name (Don) and told him she had never seen anyone work so hard. I remember her telling him that someday all that good work ethic would pay off nicely for him. She thanked him and gave him $1.00. That kid beamed like he had just been give the medal of honor! We found out 25 years later that that same young man turned out to be Donald Trump.
(ok, that's a wee bit of a fib...but who knows?)

So, maybe for just one day, write to someone your real feelings about them....tell someone that you appreciate them...give someone a true compliment. Get out of yourselves and get into others.

William James said " The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated."

Margaret Cousins ~ "Appreciation can make a day, even change a life. Your willingness to put it into words is all that is necessary."

Hey! Thanks for reading this! It made my day!

Lent vs. St. Paddy's Day!

Well, well, well...it seems as though the Bishops in our area (Cincinnati/Northern Ky) have granted local Catholics (and visiting Catholics) special dispensation from the Lenten obligation to abstain from meat on that day. hmmmm.....soemtimes I get confused with Catholics.
Now, please understand, I grew up Catholic and am still recovering. I spent 12 years in their schools being taught absolute doctrine that said if I strayed from these teachings, my soul (which I knew was ME) would go to purgatory or, if I committed a mortal (vs. venial) sin, I would go directly to hell without getting a bypass to purgatory card. So, back in the 50's and 60's, the Church had a rule that we needed to repent for our sins by avoid eating meat on Fridays. So, lots of fish and cheese pizzas for us. Well, then on occasion, if we were on vacation, some priests said it was "OK" if we ate meat while we were traveling. My little child mind couldn't understand that since most restaurants had fish and pizza, even when we were traveling.
Then the Church started granting "annulments" because Catholics aren't allowed to divorce. So, people who were married 24 years, could still get it annulled and go to Mass.
I figure the Church will eventually have to give up on being the rare religion that doesn't allow their clergy to marry. Can you imagine that poor 86 year old, life-long celibate priest, on the day he finally hears that he can participate in the "sins of the flesh" ??
Now when the Church did away with the no meat on Friday rule altogether, my adult mind thought, "OK, have we repented enough for our sins?"
But they kept it for the few weeks (7) of Lent??
St. Patrick's Day falls within Lent and every 6 or 7 years!
So, out of the pockets of coerced Bishops, comes ANOTHER DISPENSATION! Why St. Patrick's Day? Hmm..maybe because there are restaurant owners who serve corned beef, who also happen to be Church contributors? OH, I'm just kidding, of course.
St. Patrick's Day cracks me up. Ireland itself has a an entire population of about 4 million people yet, in the US, there are over 34 million people who claim Irish heritage.
On St. Patrick's Day there is an old saying, "On March 17th, there are two kinds of people ~ those who are Irish, and those who wish they were".
My name is Margart Mary Murphy, although there are a few who call me "Peggy"...
since my name sounds Irish, I always get referred to being Irish. In fact (Hold on to your hats), I am 100% American! Yep..it's true..both of my parents were born the good ole USA. My Mom had little if any Irish blood and Dad's parents were both born here. His Grandparents came from the "old sod"...
But isn't it funny that I received 17 St. Patrick's day cards last year and only 6 birthday cards?
If you polled 100 people at a St. Patrick's Day celebration, 3 may know who St. Patrick was.
Now don't get me wrong, I love a party as much as the next pseudo-Irish -American, but I still can't understand a Church making rules that can be changed at any time for a local priest.
It just leaves me wondering....
whoops, gotta go..time is a-wastin! I must prepare my stash of green beers!

Here come 'da JUDGES

Wow....have you seen the plethora of judge shows that are currently proliferating our televsion airwaves? We have, of course first and foremost, Judge Judy, Judge Mathias, Judge Joe Brown, Judge Mills Lane; Judge Hatchett; a new judge (yes, we need another one) named Judge Cristina Perez, Divorce court, People's Court; Morals Court...whew!
This is not to mention the prime time Judges, including now all the Olympic Judges and ~American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, Skating with the Stars, etc,
Shouldn't we have Judging with the Stars? Or maybe viewers could have their own show, Judging the Judges? We give them comments and advice and score them on presentation, grammar, enthusiasm, and content.
On a scale of 1-10, how do you like that idea?

Why do we tune in? Is it to hear the nice things they say to ordinary folk? Or do we like it when Simon tells someone singing their heart out on national tv, that they are a "complete and utter mess..I've heard better hog-callers than that!"
And do we stand up and cheer when Judge Judy insults a plaintiff with, "I don't believe you madame...you cannot think that coming into this courtroom you can pull off a lie. I can tell by your eyes you are lying...I know more than you and all your friends and family combined!"
And she hauls in $25 million a YEAR...Simon Cowell does a little better without the judge's robes ~$34 million last year. Should we lump Jerry Springer's show into the mix since the audience acts like judge and jury with their hoots, jeers and foul, insulting questions? Kinda like the other judges on tv...but Jerry, himself, only makes $11+ million/year.
The actual average salary for a judge in the U.S. is $132,435.

Does all of this reflect the persona of our American pubic? Condemnation at every turn?
Do we really relish in seeing people get derided and embarrassed? Seems as though we'll pay good money to see the most insulting ones!

I read somewhere..."Judge not, lest ye be judged" (unless you want to make a lot of money?)
But here I am, jumping on the judging bandwagon....but I cover myself by saying, "I'm just giving my opinion, not judgement"...or "I'm declaring my humble observation."
Yep..I'm right there with the American public, sad as that is.

I gotta go...I need to see my video tape of last night's American Idol before tonight's show.

Men need a license to grocery shop

Women must have been born with a credit card in one hand and a shopping list in the other. We start at a young age when Mom gives us a little cart of our own to push around the store. Women think of shopping as an Olympic event and we don't like competition from men. When we go shopping, we strap on our running shoes and we move swiftly and deftly (sometimes at break-neck speed) from one aisle to the other in an organized fashion, leaving the frozen foods for last.We have learned the lesson early that we might incur the un-forgiving looks from experienced shoppers observing a novice waiting in line with leaking ice cream cartons. We sometimes will check our watches' stop-watch feature to see how our time compared with our last weekly adventure.
Most men are so out of place at the grocery store. They meander (oh, how that bugs the professional shopper!) around the store, pushing their cart like it was a lazy Sunday afternoon at the park. The only exception is Football weekends when they arrive in hoards, stocking up on alcoholic libations and snacks and streaking toward the checkout like it was the last play of the game and they were going out for the winning touchdown.
We LOATHE the man who stops dead in the MIDDLE of the aisle to look for the one item that we are sure their poor ill wife needs to finish cooking dinner even though she has a 103 degree temperature. He just stands there blocking the way without regard to other professional shoppers who are trying to break their own record for most efficient grocery trip. And when we are 'rounding the corner for that last most important shopping aisle, here comes a meandering man going the wrong way on OUR aisle! SIGH..
and lastly....a many men wait until the clerk has rung up his total and the bagger has filled all the bags, and he finally gets out....a CHECK!! Then he puts his wallet back into his pocket and the clerk reminds him she needs to see his ID. Back into the pocket he goes for his ID....but wait! He has to answer his ringing cell phone first before handing the ID over. Now of course, whomever is behind him (not-so-patiently-waiting) is steaming because this amateur is ruining her world record in this event for this day.
Naturally, most women know better than to carry anthing but a credit card for optimum swipe time ~ and the cell phone is either in the purse or we have a headset on to avoid costly time delays in using our hands for anything but what is necessary for our Olympic event.
When will grocery stores require a license ~ or at the very minimum, CLASSES for shopping in their stores?
Probably when our USA male alpine skiers and our mens' speed skaters stop being prima donnas. Oooh, that could be a looooooooong time.
In the meantime, I gotta run....I think my own record at the store is going to be broken today!

Dear "John"

Don't you think that there should be regulations about public bathrooms?
Like, the stalls should be a certain size so one doesn't have to cover themselves in an oil to squeeze into it? In my office building, there are 3 womens' restrooms.
The stalls are all different sizes. One extra large stall (it's not politically correct to call it a handicap stall) has the commode soooo far away from the toiley paper that you need arm extensions to reach it. I almost fell right off the "throne" one day and I was wondering how I would describe my injuries at the emergency room.
One of the other extra large stalls on the main floor has the exact opposite problem. While in the sitting position, one's thigh becomes one with the wall...little indentations from the toilet paper holder are embossed on your body for the rest of the day. WHO INSTALLS THESE WALLS, ANYWAY?
And WHO decides on what kind of toiley paper is used? I just LOVE the kind that has to be peeled off the roll, like all the paper is glued together. When you start to get one sheet off, it starts to ribbon-unravel so you get slivers of toilet paper braids to use. The worst yet is the kind that has individual sheets that are bound up in that holder like Osama in the hills. They are NEVER #%! coming out!
And it makes me feel al warm and fuzzy when I get the double roll TP holder. And the first compartment is out of TP...so it is YOUR TURN to gently slide the aluminum cover over to expose the next roll. Only it is jammed. All the banging and cajoling is not gonna budge this sucker. So you have to ask the person in the next stall "a little help here..anyone have any usable toilet paper ? (I've learned from experience to add those words "Useable")
Ugh..well, enough "potty-mouth" talk for one day. I feel better now.

Copy Cat

Ok, here I am blogging. I am just a big ole copy cat. I really love reading my nephew's blog (google Sean Michael Murphy for fun near-daily reading). So does that mean I think I can blog? Yes! This is so cool. I just sit and type my stream of conciousness (or lack thereof) and I'm not in front of an audience who can instantly start throwing fruit or marshmellows at me! (yes,that did occur with one outdoor melodrama I was in. Iliterally waspelted with marshmellows..kinda degrading...must have been for my fellow-actors lack of realism)
But I am not only a copy cat with this blog-stuff. If I hear about symptoms of a disease, I instantly acquire over 50% of said symptoms. Yesterday I rented the movie, The Doctor. Great movie from 1991. William Hurt plays an obnoxious, cocky,heart surgeon who gets cancer of the vocal cords. He is constantly clearing his throat in the movie and eventually loses his voice. Well, don't 'cha know that today I awaken with the worst sore throat I've ever had. I'm sure that at any minute I will start to cough up a little blood just like you-know-who.
And here is another annoying copy thing I do. If I am around ANY foreign speaking individual, I start to talk back at them in their same brogue, accent or dialect. (I don't mean to, I promise) The other day I was at a deli and theguy serving me was Canadian and I said, "I'm sure this roast beef is fresh, eh?" He said escitedly like he had et a fellow country-person) , "are you from Canada?" Dang! I was caught! I just said, "No, but I have a lot of friends who are!" He gave me a disappointed look.
Copy-catting isn't all what it's cracked up to be. But I'm still gonna blog.