I've been known to have a pretty healthy ego ~ not conceited, of course, but confident in my never-ending talents and flawless abilities. Just about everything in my life seems perfect, from my faultless way I fold laundry to my error-free bookkeeping. So when I get rejected, my inner self is aghast with shock!
In the past week, a store clerk handed me back my American Express with a disgusted look that said, "You are a loser"...when in fact, the magnetic strip had been chipped just enough to dis-allow my credit card authorization. I handed it back to him and told him to hand-key in the numbers and he acted like I had asked him to run an uphill marathon on one leg! But I still felt kinda rejected.
I can remember my first BIG disappointment (let's not use the work "rejected" anymore) ~ I was in high school knowing that my future was in being a comedic actress. I had applied to one school, Denison University in Granville, Ohio. Denison is a wonderful school that had a top-notch fine liberal arts/theater program. Many well-known actors had graduated from Dennison. (John Davidson, Hal Holbrook..even Bobby Rahal!)
To be considered, I had to be personally interviewed as well as submit an audio tape of me acting out a scene in a play. I coerced my boyfriend, John Lampe, to read the scene with me. We practiced and practiced until we sounded perfect. I sent in the tape and waited. Every day I would come home from school expecting a marching band to greet me with the assumed news that I would not only be accepted to the college, but probably star as the lead in their fall play production.
So, at this point you know that I received a crappy little letter saying "you may want to consider blogging for the rest of your life because you are not Denison material"...
I have worked at least 59 jobs now and have only received a handful of letters
with the news, "Your skills are not a fit with our organization's goals"...but each one is like a dagger piercing the heart (not that a dagger has ever really entered any part of my body so I don't know why I said that).
I see people pick up their ringing phone, check the caller ID and not answer it. Naturally, the person on the other end is unaware that they have been blown off. I know that NO ONE has EVER done that to ME. Well, almost never.
I was dining at a 4 star restaurant about a month ago when I caught a glimpse of a friend of mine. This is a woman who would knock over the Pope to answer her phone. I thought that I would play a joke on her by calling her cell phone with the pretense of asking her to help me with my disabled car. Well, the phone must have rung because she picked it up from out of her purse...looked at the caller ID and placed it back in her purse!
WHAT? She knew it was me! Of course, confident Peg thought that she must know other Peggy Murphys ~ because surely, she would take MY call!
I promptly stormed over to her table and threw my bill on her salad plate and dramatically stomped off. I know now why Denison discarded my college application ~ when I made my theatrical dining room exit, I knocked into a busboy with a tray of glasses that came ultimately and in slow motion, came clattering to the floor.
I've had my baked goods snubbed at the charity bizarre and that hurts...
I've been the second one chosen when picking teams for sporting events...
I've had magazines send me emails saying my articles will be "filed for future consideration"..
I've had my poorly wrapped Christmas present be the last one chosen at a Christmas exchange...
I've had my dog Bailey wag his tail at strangers more than at me...
But I'm OK with all of that....
But the worst was yet to come. I've asked my nephew, Connor, for a year now, to come visit me for a weekend. I have bribed him with offerings like payment for yet another set of tennis lessons...or take him to Paris...or buy him three x-boxes (whatever THEY are). He told me, "I can't, Aunt Peggy. I need to trim my toenails"...or some other such excuse. But, that's ok...I know he loves me.
But what I think really bothers me...is that Denison University offered my boyfriend a scholarship from that audio tape we made! Yep...for THAT, I hold a grudge.
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