Headlines That Make You Wonder How The Editor Got the Job

I would think that newspaper writer-type jobs would be hard to acquire because of the competition. One writing headlines for a paper should maybe "have a clue". Well, maybe the following samples of journalism at it's best was just a lone incident on an "off" day for someone ~

* Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing (Beltone,maybe?)
* Police begin campaign to run down jaywalkers (that’s pretty severe punishment!)
* Safety experts say school bus passengers should be belted (aw, c’mon!)
* Iraqi head seeks arms (well, I’ve gotta "hand" it to them)

Grammar often botches other headlines ~

* Eye drops off shelf (40 "lashes" to the one who pushed it off)
* Squad helps dog bite victim (What are they teaching in squad school these days?)
* Dealers will hear car talk at noon (I don’t care if the car can sing the National Anthem, I just want it to give me better gas mileage!)
* Enraged cow injures farmer with ax (Isn't that over-kill? A mere head butt might have worked)
* Lawmen from Mexico barbecue guests (what ever happened to good ole wiennies?)
* Miners refuse to work after death (wow..now that’s an extended retirement)
* Two sisters reunite after eighteen years at checkout counter (I wonder if they were arguing over what to buy for dinner that night?)

Once in a while, a botched headline takes on a meaning opposite from the one
intended ~

* Nicaragua sets goal to wipe out literacy (like newspaper editors?)

Sometimes newspaper editors state the obvious ~

* If strike isn't settled quickly it may last a while
* War dims hope for peace (really?)
* Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency (DOUBLE really?)
* Cold wave linked to temperatures (NOW I am informed!)
* Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years (no comment)
* Man is fatally slain (yes, but did he DIE?)
* Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say (and EXPERTS should know!)

Hmmm...Maybe someone is spiking the coffee in the newsroom?